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Screenshot of a Tumblr post by indigosfindings:
imagine if someone just like started addressing you as Dipshit, like youre just talking about your day & they say “no way Dipshit, that’s crazy.” and then maybe you say to them that you would prefer not to be addressed as Dipshit & their response is “well in my major metropolitan area ‘Dipshit’ is not considered an insult. im not saying i think youre stupid when i call you Dipshit, i call my mom dipshit all the time” so you say Thats cool but please dont call Me that. and then they just repeat that it’s something they say daily, they call all of their best friends & lovers dipshits & are called dipshit in return. “my grandma calls me dipshit at the dinner table, it doesnt mean anything.” so you say Yes i understand that your friends & grandma arent bothered by being called Dipshit but i am, & i would prefer if you didnt address me as that. and they say “it’s literally not possible for me to stop calling you dipshit, and it’s not reasonable for you to ask me to, dipshit.” anyway this post is about nothing in particular
one more report and I’m locking this whole mf thread
I understand this is a controversial topic but y’all need to behave your damn selves
Please review this educational material for additional instruction if you are having difficulty with the conceptAs an Australian, what the fuck us this cunt talking about
They are suggesting calling a bearded bloke in a frock miss because that’s what he wants is the same as calling someone dipshit.
As a trans woman, I’ve heard this argument used when people want to call me “Bro” or “man”. It would probably apply to a number of common slurs too, such as “retard”.
“Is it possible to learn this allegory?”
“Not from the Daily Wire.”
Shuddap you fundark.
I thought this was a post about the overuse of “dude”
This is obviously about Australians calling their mates “cunts”.
hey cunt!
Saved
I’m personally kind of reminded of how “faggot” and “dyke” are being “taken back” and used jokingly/sarcastically, but I still get really uncomfortable if someone uses them with me. They’ll say “oh I don’t mean it offensively!” But it’s not really up to you to decide what’s offending another person or not.
Yeah, it’s like people say “Please don’t call me that,” and instead the person who called them that hears “You did something wrong for calling me that,” and they get defensive. It’s one of those things that, once you notice, you’ll see it everywhere. Not just about nicknames. It could be anything. It’s like no matter what you say in response they just view it like you’re angry or saying they’re a bad person. “I know you didn’t mean anything by it, but I don’t like it and would prefer that you didn’t.” Nope. Some folks just can’t comprehend it. “I know other people are okay with it. I’m not saying you should stop calling them that.” Nope! Their ego is now in defense mode lol.
instead the person who called them that hears “You did something wrong for calling me that,” and they get defensive. It’s one of those things that, once you notice, you’ll see it everywhere.
And not just about language and people addressing each other.
This phenomenon has been enhanced and amplified with online discussion, so that now we all “choose” to spend our time around people and spaces that reflect how we already feel about a variety of things. So that as soon as you encounter someone outside of that comfort zone who has different preferences, you will see it as stressful and hostile.
In the Great Before Times, when people talked to each other face-to-face, we all learned pretty fast that we need to be compromising and thoughtful and actually listen to each other without presumption of hate or hostility, or we get pushed away from people and end up alone. Or punched in the snotlocker.
Yep, you really hit the nail on the head
I have one friend who uses the R word and insists it’s to reclaim the term, but they almost exclusively use it in a self-degrading manner. They seem to be the only one in their circle that uses the word, and they’ve had lively arguments over whether or not it’s a word to reclaim. I’ve stayed out of it but when the only person I’ve encountered who says they’re trying to reclaim a slur seems to be using it to degrade themselves, I question if it’s worth even trying to reclaim. It’s just a word, let it be entirely forgotten to the sands of time like “forsooth” and any other words I don’t know because they’ve left virtually all people’s lexicons
Whats removed? I have no idea what this post is about.
It appears on my instance, FWIW.
Oh I didnt even realise it was actually removed by the instance. I thought removed was literally the slur and I didnt get it.
I’m going to type removed to see if it appears for me.
Edit: wasn’t expecting that.
A bundle of sticks
Oh I didnt realise it was used as anything other derogatory. Crazy
I once had someone tell me very very earnestly that the word Queer - a word I literally marched under in protest - was the worst most horrible slur ever, then turn around and use fruit.
Baby comm members need naptime methinks
Some older folks have a genuine visceral reaction to “queer” because, whether it’s been taken back or not, you can’t just psychologically undo a lifetime of that word having been weaponized against you.
Tbf, that word in it’s original definition literally means “Weird” or “Unnatural”. Like: “A circle in the triangle factory? How queer!”
As for all the other words and their association with LGBTQ I have no clue.
I grew up with those words being common and I hope they don’t come back in any form. They’re very damaging even to straight males. But I’m sure as long as there’s a counter culture they won’t go away.
Case in point, I’ve been getting really into Latin dance, taking group classes, taking private classes, etc. the people that I see dance that look amazing are having a lot of fun with the dance and the music, the body movements, everything. When I try to move a certain way with my hips there’s this fucking voice in my head that’s snickering saying “gay” and if I can get out of my own fucking head and just feel the music, feel myself and connect with who I’m dancing with I have a great time and I get a lot of compliments. I hate that even when I know it’s wrong and even completely illogical the fear of being perceived as feminine or weak is something that I have to struggle with on a personal level.
I’ve been transitioning for 10 years and these thoughts still haunt me sometimes 🙃
That’s how I feel about the Q
Not sure what the link is for, I’m fine with people using it in their own life and media. But using it referring to me or in reference to lesbians makes my skin crawl as someone who used to be called that by homophobic teenagers
It’s like when I lived in Miami and everyone called me “gringo” or “flaco.” When I asked them to stop they would say it was endearing. But imagine if I called them “removed” or “fatty” what their reaction would be.
I assume you mean Gordo and not gringo. Gringo for anyone interested literally means Greek, and in Spanish it is slang for anyone who doesn’t speak Spanish. It’s really not an insult, at least in US Spanish there we offensive terms for white people, so. There’s that. But I know people really freak out about ‘‘Gordo’’ and it really isn’t like calling fatty, it’s a lot more like calling someone Bubba. Bubba isn’t a slur, it’s southern slang meaning bubble, and it’s for people who have roundness. They don’t even have to be tubby. We called my youngest brother Gordo and Goose. Idk why Goose. But Gordo was because he was a fat baby. He’s in his 30s now, tall, pretty muscular, in the military. Still call him Gordo. No one calls me flaco anymore. They don’t call me Gordo either. I think I’m too fat… they call me papi, because I look a lot like my grandfather now and that’s what we called him.
Yeah this post is about you.
I mean it’s very common for fat men to be nicknamed “gordo” ie fatty. Of course it’s ignorant but definitely not meant offensively.
Fatty? Is that a slur for something? Or was everybody there just overweight?
Translating is always perilous. My dad said never do it. But I wouldn’t translate Gordo to fatty. It’s not old slang, it’s not out of date, and it’s not culturally offensive. It’s more like calling your son ‘‘bread ball’’ or ‘‘Lil biscuit’’ or something you’d lovingly call a chubby baby.
Flaco means skinny
New response if TERFism:
“Ok dipshit”
We’ll win the social media battle with that one for sure.
You’re not going to change their minds no matter how much effort you put in. Might as well give a zero effort response.
We started calling my wife’s narcissistic psychopathic Russian ex dipshit because we got tired of having to use his name. Now I barely remember his name, it’s just dip shit
Then one day she got tired of his crap, beat the shit out of him, so now we just call him dip
Language is owned by the group.
Individuals don’t dictate to the group.
Except there are different groups.
Wrong. The group is enslaved by its language. humans just go about vommiting grammar. utterances, words and narratives muchlike genes just seek to establish themselves and prolong their stay. There is no free will. Capricornus agnus dei Dark triad 6 6 6
are you saying it’s unreasonable to ask not to be called something you don’t want to be called?
Depends, I’ve had people request I stop calling them “dude” or “man.” The first of which being my dad, who insisted when I was young that it was disrespectful and I should call him “dad” or “father.” This did not go well for him, even to this day, spoke to him last night and at one point said “Dude so I was reading this article the other day…” My grandma also requested the same, as ironic as that is in this post, and was met with similar resistance. It’s like asking someone to quit saying “like,” it can be done but it takes active effort to change their speech pattern, to which I say “no, it is neither disrespectful nor gendered, and I will not actively change my entire speech pattern to satiate an unreasonable demand from one person that I know, so you can either get over being called dude just like literally everyone else I talk to, or we don’t have to talk, dad.” I’m not doing it to piss him off, it is just how I talk.
“Hey, son, when you call me dude it feels like you don’t respect me, like I’ve lost the right to be your father, something that I am incredibly proud of. I know that you mean it conversationally, so I try not to take it personally, but in my mind it’s a term of mutual connection and endearment and it means a lot to me to be able to hold that title for you.”
Oof, fuck, I did emotional damage to myself.
Yeeeeeaaaah he didn’t tell me he was proud of me until I was 25, so “probably not.”
Also I did/do call him dad, but dude is more of an interjection or exclamation than an honorific. “Hey dad how you been? … Word cool glad to hear it. OH DUDE so I was talking to mom the other day, and…”
“Dude” like 100% of the time means either I forgot an acquaintance’s name or “OH SHIT my ADHD just reminded me of this thing I’m about to tell you” or “Maaaaaan/sheeeeeit/duuuuude” or simply the same as “bro/guy/buddy/pal/mack/playa/nword(can’tsaythatonebutykwim)/hoss/boss/cat/chingon/друг/чубак/comrade/friend/doc/anything-commonly-used-instead-of-a-name.”
I feel you, dude (lol). My kids call me dude like that, too, and I use it the same way. I often used to say, “Yeah, man,” as an affirmative, no matter who I was talking to, but I guess that fell out of daily use a while back.
I was trying to look at it from a father’s perspective; the kind of thing I might say in that situation if it really bothered me. And, I think it’s important to explain how we feel about things using that “when you say/do X, it makes me feel Y” formula to help keep things focused and non-accusatory.
I also say “man” like that still haha.
Yeah I feel ya, but I don’t think that was him, knowing him. More likely it was some archaic notion that was a remnant from the 50s, that addressing your parents as anything other than “sir” or “ma’am” is improper, which he also unsuccessfully tried to push. He’s dropped it now, though, which is good because it was just not gonna happen.
no, you’re just an asshole.
No u
Crutch words suck ass. Go to Toastmasters.
“No.”
It would require a feat of marketing to shift the definition used by the group. I think that’s how it’s generally done. Call it reasonable or unreasonable or whatever you like.
There’s a certain societal inertia you have to push against, and it’s unrealistic to expect everyone to change these patterns for you instantly. Friends/family/kind acquaintances will take some time, and others may never change for your sake.
I get that it’s challenging for some people, but the actual difficult part is just getting people to have the baseline of respect to even try.
Like at any larger social gathering, even among “woke” commies, etc, someone is going to be misgendering someone else like every other minute, but we’re all doing our best and actually trying. We just muddle through.
I think most peoole that agree with OP understand the societal inertia, and complications occured by having a prefrence contrary to the majority.
I think the point of this post is to be part of that pushback. To have those who have never been in the minority to have some empathy. So that when we meet somebody who has a prefrence that makes you do some work, people may be more inclined to accomidate and support othrs.
LMFAO, I thought it was “nigga” for a minute there.
Reminds me of Nelson Piquet, a former F1 driver, calling Lewis Hamilton a Neguinho when he was talking about current day F1 drivers in an interview. He called every driver by their name except Hamilton. Then Piquet and his brother ofcourse went with the “that’s how we always call each other even my grandma calls me that” defense
