I’m always more concerned by the 30% of humans that don’t think they could take a rat more than the delusional people myself.
They might be assuming you get weapons or whatever, but 30% of people don’t even have to self confidence to just flop around on the ground for a bit.
the dogs you have to worry about is the ones that are known to bite or aggresive.
Right, don’t fuck around with Dachshunds…
Chimpanzee is way too high Jesus Christ. It goes from reasonable shot at winning but succumbing to your wounds later to 20x stronger than you and smart enough to go for the sharp bits
Yeah, my first thought was that a king cobra should be higher than chimpanzee. Not because king cobras would necessarily be easy, but because it would be possible.
Beating a chimp would depend on whether a human hit to its head could knock it out or at least stun it, as well as getting such a blow in immediately at the start. But my guess is that their skulls are built differently enough that such a hit would just motivate it more.
I mean I’ve been thinking about how to fight geese for a long long time now. I’ve got grudges.
Some of these are a grey area. I could probably be the last one standing with a wolf, but would likely die later from the damage.
Why do 5-10% of Americans think they can beat a Gorilla Lion Elephant or Grizzly Bear? Note beat in a fight as in engage successfully in combat. What do they think you are even going to do vs the Grizzly or elephant again?
Also chimps should be way further down on that list. You’d have a better chance against the wolf.
americans are just tougher thats why 🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲
I’m pretty confident in fighting most things that are smaller than a dog. Once you get into dog size or larger, things get complicated.
The largest animal I think I could take in a fight is a capybara. Maybe a manatee; but only on land.
That’s over 2 terabytes of adults! That’s a lot!
In america’s defence on the eagle front, theirs are basically glorified seagulls
I’m good down to Eagle, and then it’s straight losses.
Eagles can be huge, fly and have fuckin razor sharp meat hooks for fingers.
The challenge is to win, not walk away unscathed.
No wonder the Brits lost the 13 Colonies, mfs can’t even take a goose.
This is one of those moments when you can immediately identify who has and who has not regularly interacted with the animal in question
I know right, do geese not exist in England? Or do they have special English geese that weigh 50 pounds and lack wringable necks?
this is kinda like mocking Aussie magpies because you only know UK magpies.
Geese in the UK are all the giant cunt species
A goose is a gangster swan, and everyone knows that they break arms.
Swans are meaner than geese by far. You don’t wanna be anywhere within sight of a swan.
A goose will back off of you give it a boot to the chest. I’ve fought off a couple of geese and a goose-sized duck and a chest-kick is the best move. Works best of you are able to wind up and use the side of your foot like you’re trying to score a sweet goal in soccer, but a regular punt gets the job done too.
A kick or a stick is all anyone needs!
We can all beat the fuck out of cobras. Just sayin
Yup. I mean, you might not survive with this method, but if you just get it to bite your foot (assuming you have shoes) you could just stomp it immediately afterwards.
Similar story for the eagle - it will definitely leave gashes in you, but so long as you flail your arms and get one decent hit on it (enough to get it out of the air), you would be able to cripple it decently fast.
I’m realizing I don’t really like thinking about hypothetically beating up animals, though. If they’re fighting you, they’re either scared for their lives, defending their young, or starving to death.
It would probably be a pyrrhic victory though.
Yeah if there’s no anti-venom, this does seem like the kind of fight where just everybody dies.
Hey it diddnt say ‘win’ just ‘beat’ 😉
Would enjoy watching some tough guys try and fight anything from chimp on down.
“Yeah, bro, I can totally fkn take an elephant!”
If people knew more about chimpanzees, they’d be right down there with bears and elephants. I would 100% take a wolf or a kangaroo, taking Aussies at their word about how insane roos are, over a chimp.
At the same time people also murder the fuck out of chimps with fairly primitive tools and have for a long time, what chimps really got on us is that crazy murder energy that you only really see in humans with the aid of PCP. Wouldn’t wanna fight one but in theory its about equivelent to fighting an unbelivably pissed off human.
Kangaroos do this move where they try to kick the balls off their male opponents. No thanks.
have you seen their nails? their kick can easily disembowel you.
Or disemball you in this instance.
I have. It’s terrifying.
Still better than a chimp
How do people think they can defeat a goose? They’re one of the meanest animals on the planet. They’re up there with wolverines and opossums.
Geese are mean and scary, but that doesn’t make them deadly. Unless they get a super lucky shot on a major artery they can’t kill you. You might end up with some deep scratches but I don’t think a goose could even break anything more than your hand. If it’s a fight to the death at the end of the day you can just run at the goose and tackle it, sacrificing your face and legs and arms to some really bad scratches.
Bruh they weigh like 15 lbs and their neck is long and poorly protected. If you can’t beat a goose in a fight there’s something wrong with you lol. Sure it might be hard to catch but it’s not like a single goose is going to take you down Shadow of Colossus style by skillfully dodging all your attacks while it goes after your weak points and once you get ahold of a goose it’s dead.
It’s easy. Grab the neck behind the head, spin, and throw. The goose figures out not to attack the 150+ pound ape after that. Not all the apes though, just the one that threw the thing.
Have you ever seen geese fight? They’re vicious.
That’s the technique I have successfully used on no less than 4 different occasions. Yes, they bat at me with their wings, but if you are fast enough to neutralize the head, the bird only weighs 20-25 pounds. At that point inertia takes over, and you can practice your Olympic “hammer throw” technique
Fair. I’ve never personally fought a goose, but I’ve seen them fight each other. It’s brutal.
I have wrangled several chickens, but they’re among the dumbest animals on the planet.
You pretty much just grab it and do whatever you want from there
Common and Virginia possums are timid and will hiss or faint if they’re confronted and can’t run away.
What kind of possum is mean?
Right lol. I was gonna say I get comparing geese and wolverines, they’re both known for high levels of aggression, but opposums are known for remaining so still you think they’re dead lmao it’s almost the exact opposite!
I don’t want to be gross, but when I was a kid, my dad was bringing me home from Little League and there was an opposum in the driveway. My dad ran it over with his car, and later on that thing got up and walked away. I count winning in a fight means to the death, and those things don’t die.
Chill man, lol! it doesn’t say to fight to the death, there are other ways to determine the victory of a fight!
