Ugh. Once when I was a kid I got the idea in my head to stick my face in between the couch cushoins and inhale hard. I still can kinda see the cursed salad I was spitting out for a while.
A raw, whole crab (about the size of a golf ball). Was crunchy in a very nasty way, full of slimy nasty stuff. Horrible!
I got a bag of those once when I was a kid. They were totally dried, but in they end it was just a bland, slightly salty way to jam shells between my teeth. 2.5/10, probably worse with rice.
It’s possible I was actually supposed to soak them first.
Oh no, the one I ate wasn’t dried, it was fresh. Hard and crunchy exoskeleton and gooey interior, with a really nasty taste.
Why?
A mistake. I thought you’re supposed to eat them like that. One bite and I knew I was wrong!
They’re marinated for cooking!
We went to a restaurant that just servea bao sliders. My wife got the soft shelled crab thinking it would be crab meat. Nope, it was a breaded and fried whole crab plopped on a bao bun. She said it was good, just weird.
I cannot imagine raw crab.
I’ve had surströmming exactly once and intend to keep it that way.
Actual shit. I was rimming my boyfriend and he had thought he cleaned enough, he was wrong. I immediately threw up washed my mouth out and brushed my teeth. Disgusting, in case I needed to say it.
and on that day, they discovered they were, in fact, not a coprophiliac
Reminds me of the story of the guy who thought he was into shit, until he hired someone to come into his house and shit on his face… only to have a change of heart at the last second as it was crowning and was too late to stop it
A Zataran’s Cajun chicken Alfredo freezer meal…that had been in the un-freezable, non-refrigerated cabinet two weeks.
My wife…gods bless her, was trying to feed me dinner…and found that in the cabinet… after having put it there during our last grocery stock up, not realizing it required freezing. In her defense, it was a grocery order and the item was not something we ordered, so she didn’t know the particulars of it, and it wasn’t cold upon arrival.
After microwaving, she brings me the plate and a fork and I notice the smell is…unique, but me being hungry and not overly picky though “meh…Cajun seasoning…I guess” so i stir the sauce into the noodles and then lick the fork, as one does, preparing to consume.
The weirdest part, is it was fucking sour. Not sour like spoiled, sour like a million warheads sour. I stopped… looked at the stuff, looked at my wife and shuddered. “This is weird…why is it sour?” I said…still not dawning on me that my wife would attempt to poison me so obviously. She disappears and I sit there, with the offending offering on the table in front of me. “Am I brave enough to eat this? I don’t like wasting food…” goes through my head at about the same time as my wife, pale faced and trembling, rushes in and grabs it hollering “don’t eat that! It was supposed to be frozen!”
you are a natural storyteller.
please tell me you have written a book, I wanna read it!
Uhhh… I’ve written a few short stories… but thanks for the compliment!
A mouthful of expired chocolate milk.
I bought a bottle of choccy milk at a gas station, got one for my kiddo too. I go to take a swig and its… chunky and stringy. I went back to the store and they exchanged both bottles of milk. They had to go find two that weren’t expired.
I just make my own at home now.
I’ve eaten ass
Any special prep?
Ideally it’s clean. When im in the moment though I’m not asking about it
Nope. Just toss the salad
Sounds dangerous.
It’s nuts
I prefer grape jelly.
My girlfriends ass
Well, there was natō, which is just slimy fermented soybeans. Had a taste like rotten sick and a texture like milky mucus covering half-mushed beans.
Not a fan of sea urchin either.
Also eaten a few expired food items that made me very wary of repeats, and usually put me off the food in question for at least a year. Rotten fruit cup that tasted like acetone, slimy off ham, chunky lemon milk.
Last, I once tried to cook a ham hock in beans. Recipe came out tasting like what I imagine stewed human flesh would taste like. Just wrong. Couldnt say exactly why, but nothing about the smell or taste told me it was edible. It was the most visceral “you’re-eating-a-dead-thing” feeling i’ve ever gotten.
IIRC even Japanese people don’t like natto, for the most part. It’s just reputed to be super healthy over there.
Wrong. Many Japanese people love it. Not all, of course.
Natto isn’t that bad there’s so many worse dishes
with onion and soy sauce and rice and kimchi
Friend gifted me some of this, and it’s truly awful.
Probably expensive Chinese baijiu the traditional drink of the North. I’ll be toasting with it soon. Tastes like lighter fluid smells, 42% by volume.
What is this, wxactly? Just looks like some kind of liquor
This could actually be named wxactly
It certainly is. Baiju. It tastes like some kind of harsh chemical cleaner. Goes down similarly.
Balut
Pinoy friend of mine’s sister brought ‘easter balut’ to their family’s easter. She’d made jello eggs with peeps in the middle.
woww that’s actually clever, I dig it!
Wow! What is that like?
I had a gf that adored it because of the"crunchy texture" … But I mean she ate my cum so I can’t really complain
An ant that I ate
Malort
Tastes like turpentine and grapefruit juice. The former I’ve actually tried accidentally… dipped my paint brush in my cup of water and took a swig of the other cup. Somehow, the malort was worse. Learned recently that they make a barrel aged version that they claim is
dare we say, sippable
We do not.
The grapefruit reference is accurate. I’d describe it as floor varnish thinner mixed with hyper-concentrated grapefruit rind. The interesting thing is the way it doesn’t actually smell that bad, but then it starts terrible and gets worse after a few seconds. I’m convinced there’s some interesting chemistry going on in there where it degrades into other chemicals as it oxidizes in your mouth.
The only remotely comparable flavor I’ve ever had is…
…Unicum, which tastes like a cedar chest smells, and I was more than a little afraid would make me go blind.
0/10 for both, would absolutely recommend if you want someone to establish a baseline for “absolute worst-tasting thing ever deliberately consumed that is technically meant to be consumed.”
Good God unicum is horrible.
Also Stroh80 is a good contender for worst drink. It tastes like kinder garten glue smells, and it lingers for the rest of the evening. I only took a sip while a friend of mine took a whole shot, and he said the whole evening every time he burped the taste came back
Somehow a friend of mine was convinced to try it, and now insists on taking shots of it every night out.
At least the taglines are accurate:
Malort: turning taste-buds into taste-foes for generations!
Malort: tonight’s the night you fight your dad!
Malort: these pants aren’t going to shit themselves!
Malort: the Gary, Indiana of liquor!
I am one of like less than 2% of the population that actually likes it.
To me, it just tastes like a gin that’s more…dirty? I dunno how else to describe it, but just more “dirty” pine. I actually enjoy it. 🤷♂️
Dumpster juice. That’s the best way I can describe it.
At uni, the go-to liquor at our events was made from malört and we would have shots of it served up. The taste is awful and it sticks in your mouth, I hated every single one but I have never passed it up either.
Did you go to uni in hell or chicago?
I’m from Saint Louis, what’s the difference?
Tasted like my grandfather’s shoes
My girlfriend-at-the-time’s dirty, dirty ass. Thought it would be like in my fantasies, where it tastes like candyfloss and smells like a Yankee candle. Nope. Shit. Just shit.
If you’re curious, shit tastes exactly as it smells. I wish I didn’t know that. Although I’m happy that now you, too, know that.
And she had the nerve to dump me later. I deserve a Nobel peace prize for not recoiling in horror and instead just powering through in silence like a fucking GENTLEMAN.
On the bright side, it became a great way to ensure future partners were cognisant of the issue. I’d drop it into the usual “what was your ex like?” gossip sessions that come with new relationships. It’s like saying “please wash your various holes if I’m gonna go rooting around in them like an ant-fiending aardvark” without actually saying it. A cautionary fable from days of yore to guide the next generation.
P.S. I’m still pro-anilingus. Just… clean the fuckin’ thing first. I don’t need to be picking dingleberries from between my teeth, thanks.
I have only experienced the smell while having sex. We went out and after getting home I guess she took a shit and in her drunken state didn’t wipe properly cause we went after it doggy style and my god did I smell some dookie. We were both drunk and, you know, I liked her, so I powered through it. But it’s still a very memorable night.
She didn’t even like, shower beforehand??
You literally ate shit?
human centipede.
What the fuck
I made a reply a while back about catching H. Pilori from eating ass … but I didn’t realise at the time what had got in my mouth … I just can’t understand doing that intentionally.
For the love of dog, why?
Probably not the worst, but I once ate a massive spoonful of flour thinking it was icing sugar.
