White Americans: mayonnaise is too spicy
Also white Americans: yeah the Carolina Butthole Annihilator goes well with pretty much everything
That reminds me of an anecdote.
When I lived in Utah many years ago, we regularly had the visit of two colleagues from our London office. They would come and stay for a few days to work with us, and of course we entertained them in the evening.
One evening, we all decided to go for a curry. So we went to some Indian restaurant in Provo, UT if memory serves.
The waiters arrived - real Indians in full fake Raj regalia, as per the restaurant’s theme - and took our orders.
Then they asked how spicy. The two Brits looked at each other and said in a low voice “Well, it’s Utah, everything is bland here, so we’d better overdo it on the spiciness to get something halfway as spicy as a London curry.”
So they announced “Nuclear.”
“Are you sure?” the waiters said
“Yeah yeah. Nuclear!”
“Okay…”15 minutes later, the waiters came back with our orders. Then instead of leaving, they turned and faced the two Brits and simply stood there with a total lack of expression on their faces.
The two went “Uh oh…”
It was the hottest curry they had ever had. They tried to put on a good show for the impassible waiters looking at them, but they quickly turned red and sweaty, and they had trouble not looking like they were panicking when reaching for the water.
We were pissing ourselves laughing 🙂
I have essentially the same story, except it’s two Americans visiting Bradford.
They knew what they signed up for.
They came there to die then.
Australian chiming in.
My favourite Indian restaurant was this little hole in the wall place (for the first three years of operation, they upgraded when the word got out). The first time I went I ordered a Vindaloo, the lovely waitress/chef that took my order asked how spicy. I was a fool and said, I like spicy food, how about a 6 out of 10. I actually made it 3/4 of the way through but the owner/other chef came out to check on me, I think because he was worried I was about to combust. It was astounding, easily the best Vindaloo I have ever eaten.
The next time I went in I ordered a white guy 4, it honestly was still fantastic, but not as good. The owner came out to say hi, asked what I had ordered this time, and he said “Ah yes we make that without any chilli.”, never been sure how I should take that. For a while I was hoping to gradually increase my tolerance but I think I am topping out at white guy 9.
What is white guy 9?
The 9 out of 10 they serve people like me, it might have an equivalency for their authentic scale, I don’t know. This is one of those places where when we go in for a meal there is a constant stream of people with much darker skin than us coming in to pick up takeaway and it was like that before Uber eats was in the area. Apparently it was really popular in the Malaysian student community, before our government decided to fuck over the education system to make a bunch of racists happy by limiting student visas.
I guess I was trying to figure out how this 9 compared to the 4 and the 6 from the other paragraph, haha. I get what you mean, though.
I dunno if my tolerance has ever actually increased or not. I can say I sometimes test it with a carolina reaper thing from a local restaurant, and that thing will make me actually sick, haha.
Hopefully this doesnt make me sound too ignorant, but I find Indian food hits different to hot sauce. With Hot Sauce you are trying to condense down all the different elements into a single substance its why it works so well on fairly bland chicken or with chips etc. Indian cuisine is like a palate of different flavours, so instead of having to build sour notes in they can have pickles, for sweetness take some chutney or a Raita or Lassi. Means I can handle a subjectively hotter curry than hot sauce.
That’s probably a dumb take but I find that to be the case, and the larger the group the greater variety of extras can be justified and shared which makes the whole thing even better. At a 4/10 WBS (white boy scale) I get a bit of colour, at a 6/10 WBS I would be fairly rosy and have some sweat going, at 9/10 WBS I am beet red and the sweat is flowing (and I will probably pay for it the next day).
I had the pleasure of attending a Nepali wedding a few years back and I found all the food on offer there very manageable. Also went to a neighbourhood BBQ where a group of lovely Chinese ladies from Heilongjiang had prepared some dishes from their home. When I mentioned the flavour was great but it felt like it was.lacking in heat I got an immediate invitation to her house (which I sadly never took up due to life being busy) so she could make my wife and I the version that’s not been “Australianised” by removing most of the heat.
Anyway all of that is a very roundabout way of saying that for someone as picky as I am about a lot of traditionally English foods, I am glad I can give other cuisines a crack.
TBF, I haven’t fully appreciated an Indian dish if my scalp isn’t sweating.
Well then they were being stupid because obviously it’s an actual authentic Indian restaurant they’re going to do the spice properly.
“Authentic” Indian restaurants in the West are fuck all like food in India. Indians are not there asking for more and more chilli in their dhal to impress their mates after the pub. It’s an India theme park for lager louts.
Well, the logic was sound: Utah really is quite bland in every way - or at least it was in the 90’s, not sure now - and if I was an Indian opening an Indian restaurant there, I’d tone down the spices to suit the local palates.
God forbid the waitress sitting there hearing this conversation give them more than a you sure after hearing they thought it would be bland because that’s the entire town 🙄.
Man, after hearing that conversation she probably asked for a 10. “‘White man’s burden’ go fuck yourself sahib, have fun with the curry Mr super exotic London man.”
I have also 100% had wait staff do that to me, I learned my lesson after the first time.
Had a friend try that with me in R’dam recently, his favorite Korean fried chicken place. Ordered their nuclear option (among a bunch of others), and was humiliated when he died after one and I ate the rest. TBH they were hot, but kind of hot for being hot’s sake, didn’t really add to the flavor/experience, which IMO is the whole point of heat.
Is extra mild just tomato?
Add a bit of water to mild it out a bit more.
I’m awaiting “Old El Paso: just water” to hit the market
yes.
Isn’t the human palette interesting. People enjoy the strangest flavors sometimes while others don’t.
Kids love the sourest of candies, but won’t eat cooked onions or red things. Adults by in large, don’t like the same level of sour that children enjoy. But adults enjoy onions raw and often hot chili peppers. I’m fine with strong levels of heat in foods. But I see no reason to use insane levels of heat to try and prove how manly someone might be. I want to taste all the ingredients in the dish, not just one thing. Like Thanos and Buddhist monks, I strive for balance in all things flavor.
I enjoy flavors that most here would run screaming from. I love strong vinegary flavors. I enjoy oaky, tannic bourbons and teas. The iron and mineral flavors of organ meats. And I have noticed lately that I very much enjoy that taste of black pepper, like stupid amounts of it. I even found a small enjoyment of cranberries as I get older. But it’s still all about the balance.
I’m much the same on most of this, but I very much still have a sweet tooth. The things I crave, my SO says are “too sweet”.
And it’s not that nothing is “too sweet” for me, or too sour, in that special way that candies can be sour… There’s definitely stuff I’ve eaten that is too sweet (for me)… I just seem to have a much higher tolerance for it.
Though, I’m not a fan of organ meats. To be fair, I haven’t had any recently enough to check if that’s still the case.
But pepper is a bit of an addiction for me. I put that shit on just about everything… In quantities that make my SO get visibly uncomfortable.
Oh man, I agree on the black pepper. I got a pepper mill and ordered a pepper mix medlee maybe a year or so ago and its so much better.
On the other hand, just to your point, I can’t stand vinegar at all.
Fresh ground spices are a revelation in flavor. I’ve had a pepper and salt mill set for years that I use. The pepper mill has been getting a real workout lately. I just crave the taste of pepper more than ever it seems and I don’t know why. So enjoy your pepper journey!
I like the taste of blood
Do you ever bite your tongue for extra flavour?
No
Iron-y
A connoisseur of blood sausage! We used to make a large batch of that at home every fall. Along with oatmeal sausage, and various smoked sausages.
While I don’t make sausages anymore, I will be making some bacon this week.
Yeah thats the good stuff
Isn’t the human palette interesting.
Yes, it’s mostly shades of brown and some pinks.
Here’s a palette.
British people happily eat hot curries so maybe extra mild is for grans or something. Even the mild salsa has almost zero heat on it.
I’m British and consider myself something of a little bitch when it comes to curries. Madras is as far as I can go, vindaloo is over the line. I enjoy eating it but the older I’m getting, the worse the consequences in my guts.
That’s the real problem. I love hot spicy food, but I can’t deal with the consequences.
Sometimes if I can stay home alone the day after, I’ll eat something extra hot and nurse the wounds in private.
I love the phaal curries I can get in the UK! Set your soul (and innards) on fire!
Would probably be pretty useful as a way for getting my son to eat it. He’s a right chilliphobe.
I cook all sorts of spice-free spicy food for him; the grown-ups can always add chilli at the table to liven it up a bit.
I had to make my own salsa when I lived in the UK. I couldn’t find a single one with any flavour. Granted, I lived in a city without a car so my reach was only a mile or so for groceries/eating out, but still.
A. Yes, there are definitely people here in the UK who can’t handle anything spicier than gravy.
B. They’re in the minority.
C. I refuse to believe you don’t know someone like that, no matter where you’re from.
My dad: Tumeric on potatoes is as “hot” as he can stand. Me, it’s 5 Thai chillies ground up in the curry sauce, and since the coconut milk smooths out the heat I really could add a few more
I refuse to believe you don’t know someone like that, no matter where you’re from.
And quite right. I had a friend who’d get the sweats eating sour candies and couldn’t do anything even remotely chili.
I do know someone like that. Their mother was born in the UK and they grew up eating very English. They had zero tolerance for spice and I frequently had them whine that something I made was inedible because it was too spicy.
I fear my mum would find mild too spicy lol
The UK is actually generally fine with spicy food, but my relatives in Poland could barely handle mildly spicy food, so yeah
I took my Polish sales rep to eat Ethiopian with me about a month ago, dude loved it, even put extra mitmita on his kitfo ^~which I suddenly realize to anyone who doesn’t know about Ethiopian food that’s gonna sound pretty weird…~^
Not weird at all, but of course I just translated this into some weird sexual act you guys were participating in.
Now I want Doro wat 😭
What not having any5hing spicy grow in a place naturally does to cusine.
I read once that spicy cuisine doesn’t correlate almost at all with where the spices are native, it correlates with where temperatures cause food spoilage. The theory is that, since chilis, garlic, and onions have some antimicrobial and antibiotic effect, the people who cooked with them in warmer climates tended to survive better than people who didn’t, and so passed down their tastes for them more. I read that a bunch of years ago, not sure if it’s been confirmed or disproved.
The UK doesn’t have much naturally growing spicy things either, and spicy food is still pervasive here.
It’s what having virtually no immigration from the east or the med does to cuisine in a country.
Yes but is traditional british food spicy?
Not the food, but one of our most popular condiments - English Mustard - has a fair bit of kick to it. Not quite wasabi levels, but not too far off.
Traditional to when? We’ve had spices here for centuries And they were barely used in British food.
It was waves of Indian, Asian, and Afro-carribean migration that lead to changes in cuisine here.
Traditional to before any mass migration from the colonies I’d say.
Like the food the Brits made themselves. If they had these spices and used them that is fine. But claiming dishes that came in with immigration I would not count
You’re agreeing with me. You said that not having any natural spices lead to a culture not eating any spicy food. I said that having a lot immigration from countries with spicy food changes that, as proven in much of the western world.
You’re right, food in countries that had no spices at that time wasn’t spicy. I’m not sure that says anything very interesting though.
Yes but the food that comes in with inmigration is not the native culture’s food. It can get integrated but it is still not native food. If I am expressing this correctly.
Like is it tikka masala or something similar that comes from britain. But I would not call that british food. If you get what I mean.
Its weird. Australians are badasses. Why can’t they eat like badasses?
Am aussie and will say there are definately the ‘pepper is hot’ people but thee is also a healthy love of spice, we have a very multicultural food pallette here with a lot of asian influence in particular (thai, chinese, japanese, indian, etc). I like to put chilli sauce on EVERYTHING, i dont think there is a food i havent tried without chilli.
There is only so much excitement one can take
Spice ratings annoy me so much! I can eat one meal called flaming hot and it’s cooler than another that is warm or sometimes even mild.
I legitimately can’t tell the difference between their mildest and hottest. It’s like 0.3% vs. 0.4% hot.
I find this to be the case for most “spicy” things targeting a western market. Firehouse Subs has a hot sauce bar where they rate the spiciness from 1 to 10. Normally I don’t bother with it because the ones at the higher end tend to either be some spicy vinegar variation (ugh no thx), or pineapple based, which I’m usually not in the mood for.
Last time they had an 8 that wasn’t either of those so I asked them to add a line to my sub as they made it.
It’s like their 10 was targeted at jalapeno spiciness, maybe cayenne. The 8 did add some heat, but it was where I’d call it a medium, and a mild one at that.
Should use a logarithmic scale I guess. Just frustrating that spicy stuff always seems to be marketed for people who don’t really like spice. The less generous side of me thinks it has to do with people wanting to act tough but are actually whiny losers who thinks it’s the seller’s fault they can’t handle the heat they wanted to show off handling.
I really wish that “10” would be equivalent to the hottest thing you could eat (and “0” being tap water).
For me, that was a hot sauce that caused my fingertips to go numb for several hours because I wasn’t wearing gloves. He chef told me that a few had been hospitalized from it.
Hence, old El Paso being 0.04 on a linear scale to 10.
Whatever scale we use, I just wish it was consistent instead of everywhere having their own scale with no calibration until you try it, further complicated by your spice tolerance itself varying over time, so you constantly need to recalibrate on any scale that isn’t just “hottest they have still isn’t hot at all”.
The only places that are honest about spice levels are Thai. Or places that just let you add your own chili sate
True, I suspect that the lack of properly spicy options from major/national food establishments has to do with fear of litigation, or risk management for customers who want to be macho but can’t eat the food and ultimately request refunds. Taco Bell had previously come out with a ghost pepper sauce that, while not “hot” compared to the actual pepper, it did have a noticeable heat profile compared to, say, “fire” which IMHO has good flavor but has only a slightly noticeable heat profile at best.
And then there’s Denmark (iirc) that outright banned some of the Buldak ramen flavours for being too spicy. The 2x spicy chicken is pretty spicy, like “I’m going to power through this to not waste any food” spicy, but I lost respect for Denmark’s leadership when I saw that.
Btw, at the risk of making it even harder to find, Buldak’s spicy curry chicken flavour is amazing. The cheese one is decent, too.
Imo 2x spicy is the perfect spice level.
My husband immediately bought me a pack right after the huge media blowup, and I actually found it to be mad delicious. I’m wondering if the spice profile was changed after it was banned.
To be clear, I really, REALLY like spicy food and he wasnt doing it to be an ass. He was legit like “Oh! A food she’ll enjoy!”
Ooh, I’ll have to try the curry chicken - it looks delicious! Same with the yakisoba! I think the only Buldak flavors I’ve tried so far are cheddar and carbonara.
Make sure to read the directions, as they aren’t prepared like a typical ramen soup. You drain it after boiling the noodles and then fry them in the sauce, improving the flavour and texture (or your frying skills if you don’t get it right lol).
And my secret improvement (other than adding things like eggs and shrimp): ramen wraps. Something about the combo of textures makes me love this, and since these ramen aren’t soup-based the wrap ends up less messy.
I know someone who can’t stand spicy food at all. The other day a bunch of us ordered some Thai food and I thought the Penang curry I got was mild enough for her because I literally couldn’t tell if there was any spice in it. There were definitely some nice flavours, but no bite that I could detect at all. It was still too spicy for her.
There are people who can’t handle spice - in Oz every curry house and pub serves Butter Chicken, which is somehow even milder than Tikka Massala, and even Madras often has cream in it. On the other hand curry houses in Bradford do tinderloo for when vindaloo just isn’t hot enough, which is just daft as a rogan josh is already decently spicy there.
It already barely tastes like anything, bet it is just a name change
I’ve lived in Britain and Australia and I’ve never seen this, and both places have good spicy food so I assume they didn’t sell well.
