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I worked 55+ hours a week for years. During the pandemic I became a stay at home mom. I suddenly, never sped while driving and any road rage tendencies vanished, nearly overnight.
While I feel quite isolated and lonely sometimes, as everyone I know works and are busy all the time, I can’t stress enough how much of a change my driving habits went through when I was no longer in “workmode”.
I used to break an average of 3 traffic laws every morning getting to my 6am shift. Then, the rush to just.get.home.
To a point now, I don’t like driving during rush hours, or shopping after the work crews get off. 10am on a weekday at the grocery store? Everyone is pleasant and polite.“excuse me” I say, and we have a polite interchange. I’ll give a compliment to a womans dress, and I’ve passed some good on to a fellow human, sometimes I even receive compliments from the little old ladies, I’ve learned from them after all.
If I go to the shop after 4pm or on a weekend? I can feel folks souls have been ripped out and stomped on, knowing what they feel… I say excuse me as i have to scoot pass their cart, and I don’t even get a response just a glare. Then I return home sad.
Work/life balance is crucial. Ideally, everyone should be guaranteed a healthy work/life balance, while still being able to live comfortably. With one job.
It would be healthy for everyone to live comfortably, and then, work how and if they want to
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I think about this a lot. We have essentially, purely through accident tbh, created a society that we are evolutionary unprepared to live in. So much of our typical day to day is actually horrible for our bodies and often antithetical to their good function.
In a strange way, it’s almost incredible. We have invented a rock that we cannot lift.
B-b-b-b greed is human nature!
Yeah, go check out how any society outside of Europe worked before colonization. Winner writes the history!
The colonists were able to easily defeat most of the natives by out-arming them. But does anybody ever stop to think about why none of these societies ever invented guns? 🤔
Competition is good for a lot of things, but it also becomes a day-to-day race to the bottom that rewards whoever is willing to sacrifice more of their life for the sake of their job than others.
The logical consequence is exactly this: we back ourselves into an increasingly uncomfortable corner that leaves less room for living than we could easily enjoy with our current technology.
Competition is essential in almost all (if not just all) human interaction, as its what pushes us to better ourselves and our species. healthy competition has rules in place that all parties know, and if someone is hurt or confused the competition is stopped to assess and adjust if needed, like sports n shit. We forgot to add that to the economy, whoops
No it’s not, people naturally wants to do better each day by themselves, for people they love and care.
Actually capitalist competition hinder progress, by not allowing humanity to have a goal other than profit
So you just didn’t read my comment or what
But they’re better at lefting than you and they really need you to know it!
I think the commenter is focusing on the idea of ‘competition for what?’. ‘Better ourselves’ how, and for what purpose? I struggle with this myself, specifically in terms of motivating myself at work. i.e. What is the goal of all this (our working society, at large, not just my role as a cog).
I have a friend who is probably going to become a nun, and the place where she seems likely to join is a convent which has very little contact with the outside world (it’s even on an island). It struck me that the monastic life seems like a pretty good escape from conditions that are objectively antithetical to humanity, especially if you’re someone whose faith is already a huge part of how they cope with the world.
Hell, I’d be tempted by it, if I had a compatible religious belief. Alas, I think that if I had a “vocation”[1], it would probably require me to stick around and work alongside others who are trying to build a more humane world. I can’t do much, but my sense of duty is greater than my desire to escape.
[1]: As I understand it, “vocation” has a particular meaning for Catholics. Here’s a definition I got from Google: “vocation in a religious context is how God calls you to serve Him in the world.”. “Vocation” came up a lot when my friend was discussing her plans. Despite me being hilariously far from being a Catholic, the concept resonated with me — perhaps because I’d loosely describe myself as an agnostic theist. I don’t believe in a God, per se, but the sense of duty I feel to things like Truth, Justice, Beauty etc. (all of which I feel the need to capitalise) — things which a more religious person might just call “God”.
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Eh, agreed except it’s no accident. A small group of people have managed to convince everyone else to do all the lifting in exchange for crumbs and little green pieces of paper. We have allowed ourselves to become our own worst enemy rather than unite and explore the stars
That’s because you don’t lift the rock, you grind it. Try waking up earlier!
(jk)
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Sort of, but there really are huge swaths of Americans that grew up learning about “work ethic,” putting in those extra hours, etc… I still struggle to turn it off sometimes myself. And then have to learn over and over and over again that “put in extra unpaid work and it’ll pay off” is horseshit every single fucking time and I’m a fucking idiot.
There is no reason why taxes pooled together from all of our incomes cannot be used to subsidize Healthcare, education and a basic living income for all citizens. But if everone no longer had to worry about survival, no one would put up with corporate abuse from rich cunts and plus if they’d paid their fair share of taxes and couldn’t just steal tax money to gamble with, they’d never be as filthy rich as they are to begin with.
Imagine not working and still being able to survive.
Looks like the slaves are getting upitty again
What you describe is more or less the Nordic economic model, except the basic income. Corporate abuse is low, because it is not unthinkable to “not work” in response to such abuse, but also because unions are strong. Nevertheless, a lot of people still work a lot, so it doesn’t completely change the work/life balance oddity op is posting about.
taxes pooled together from all of our incomes cannot be used to subsidize Healthcare, education and a basic living income for all citizens
Well that’s how it’s done in most rich and even some poor countries. So I assume you are talking about the US which is indeed in a terrible situation with human rights for it’s wealth. And sadly voting red/blue won’t ever change it.
Not the basic living income part, at least not anymore.
There is Social Security but it’s generally pretty miserable and nowadays not even enough to pay for rent (thanks to insane housing inflation all over the place) plus most supposedly developed countries haven’t been building much social housing in the last couple of decades (which is partly why the house price inflation is insane - less state built housing means less Supply but the Demand for new living places is still roughly the same).
Neoliberalism has been exported from the US to even the most Developed nations out there and that’s definitelly screwed up the Social Safety net (also Healthcare, even in countries without a national health service, as well as in some cases the quality of Education).
Also even when things were at their best, there was always this coverage gap for the lower end of the working class: the poor were the ones helped by the social safety net and above a certain income point which was in the area of blue collar work, people could live a pretty decent life from working, but there was a segment of the working class with people having to work shit jobs, juggling multiple jobs and so one just to make ends meet and were the help from social security wasn’t enough.
Even in the best countries this gap has been made much worse by decades of Neoliberalism, both by shrinking even further down the social safety net coverage (to just the trully miserable) and because on the upside income growth didn’t keep up with price growth so even parts of the middle class now have to work shit jobs and count their pennies to the end of the month.
I’ve only gotten one minute into the video and already it’s hit me with truth.
I’m a sahm, used to work in manufacturing. I enjoy keeping house, …mostly. The beginning of the video it’s stated in the stone age, people would usually have one day of heavy work, followed by a day of less work.
When I’m left to my own devices on planning and keeping house, this is exactly how my days go. I clean like hell for one day or do an outdoor project, and the next, I just do the bare minimum, maybe a load of dishes and a meal that requires more effort, but nothing else. I thought it was just part of my neurodivergencies. But I really do enjoy working in this manner. I actually get to enjoy the fruits of my labor for a minute.
Maybe thats what humans are missing, basking in a job well done is important to keep us motivated imo
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There are actual differences in the brain and it’s not about capitalism.
Humans used to have a much more direct connection between what they did and their survival. Gather enough food and you won’t starve. Keep an eye out for other tribes/clans/families competing for the same resources and you don’t get killed. Processing TPS reports all day doesn’t seem like it does much of anything even though it gives you money. We’ve lost the connection and our brains can’t handle it.
So modern life is simulating an impending death scenario for the brain. All the time.
That actually makes a lot of sense. Like the panic that occurs when layoffs happen.
If your work isn’t mentally stimulating, then get another job that is.
If you’re being complacent then that’s up to you.
I flat out tell my employer to automatise the monkey work because I’m not doing it adequately.
If you want me to perform, make the work release dopamine etc when I competitively complete it.
This would be terribly unpopular on LinkedIn.
Gotta keep up that 24-7 365 grindset.
It’s extremely unpopular in the American business world. This world is so fucked up on so many levels. People wonder how things can be so bad over here… This is a big piece of that puzzle, along with our terrible and underfunded education system, and our lack of affordable healthcare.
Just these three things are bad enough, but then there are so, so many more problems. The United States is a gilded dumpster fire we’ve somehow been convincing the world is a beacon of prosperity.
The parts of the Nazi “economic recovery” from the Depression besides refusing to pay the rest of the Versailles debt and deficit spending financed by futures in tooth gold and slave labor was literally just making people work longer hours.
I’m depressed if I’m not
Yeah there’s something to that. Like I feel as though we should always be doing stuff but not what it is that we’re currently doing?
Like, we should be waking up and having tea with our neighbors or helping out in our communities and stuff … perhaps just building, planting, fixing things that we’d like? I don’t feel as though we should be fighting deadlines constantly.
I’m so tired of working. I just want to live modestly in a bought off house but the ever inflating cost of living will make it an impossible dream.
I retired from my software developer job right before COVID hit, bought a very small (and very inexpensive) fixer-upper house for cash, and started driving a school bus. I make like 1/5 as much as I used to and I’m as happy as I’ve ever been in my life. I work less than five hours a day and I have a big break between my morning and afternoon runs so I can ride my bike, have a leisurely lunch and a nice nap in the middle of my day. If the school board would just take my suggestion to send all the middle-schoolers to the Antarctic for three years, my life would be perfect.
I’m in a similar job but I only bought my house about 2 years ago. The mortgage is ridiculously high even for my salary. If things are already tough for me, I’d hate to think how the average person can afford basic necessities. Good on you for being able to buy a cheap house though, I wish that was an option for me.
Nancy Birtwhistle has some great books that can help a bit with the cost of living. They include recipes for your own cleaning products and toiletries. It’s only a few £s here and there but they start to add up into some real savings, plus you get the benefit of knowing exactly what’s in your products, peace of mind from potential health effects, as it’s all vinegars, citric acids, and alcohols instead of (to the layman) mystery chemicals.
And to save even more money they are available on the high seas, although she’s put considerable care and attention into them so I’ve purchased the real things. But for getting started, they are available is all I’m saying.
Obviously that doesn’t help with buying a house or anything as they’re crazy prices everywhere but it’ll save you on your shopping bills each week at least.
I mean, historically, the majority of humans were meant die shortly after being born, with women dying in childbirth, and men dying young in wars. Those that lived those parts may have died from malnutrition or diseases/injuries today that are annoyances instead of being fatal.
With current use of antibiotics in farming; disease and injury will soon be very fatal again. At least we can hope for a reset of the infinite growth issue.
The world did indeed used to be a brutal place. I guess I’m trying to understand what conclusion you’re trying to draw.
The OP picture says “humans were never meant to be” something. That language suggests that either we’re biologically designed to be something else (which I don’t think that person was saying) or that human society was designed to support something better that is less anxious or depressed. I’m pointing out (not too seriously) that that isn’t the case either and that prior human societies were actually “designed” to be far far worse.
Realistically no one designed anything, so I’m having a lighthearted poke at the premise of OP’s picture.
Stress causes burnout. That’s something else.
Depression is when you don’t do anything. You won’t be “too busy”. You’re not even leaving your bedroom.
Anxious people can’t handle stress.
Depression isn’t only “when you don’t do anything.” That’s one of the forms severe depression can take, but it’s better generalized as persistent lack of positive emotions and/or motivation resulting from decreased brain activity in key areas
Also people diagnosed with anxiety can “handle stress,” just not to the level demanded by modern society without significant impairment and distress
Nah we cannot handle stress. The difference before and after anxiety medication is tremendous. I went as far as having stomach damage from anxiety. Losing 20 kg because the anxiety kept worsening the condition. Trust me, we cannot handle stress.
Depression’s enemy is serotonine and dopamine. If you aren’t stuck in your room, then you’re able to workout. Able to get going. It doesn’t feel like life’s worth living at those moments. Life’s on a pause button. But once you get that energy surge. Grab it with both hands and make sure that the motor doesn’t stop running.
Medication against depression is basically the same thing as you get from being active.
I took Amisulpride for a while against depression after losing the 20 kg, then now am on 10 mg sipralexa. I feel 0 depression whatsoever. Quite the opposite. I have too much energy.
never going back to anxiety disorder, it has nothing to do with the amount of work. It’s just how my brain is wired. I’m very productive right now because I’m not anxious.
I think how well anxious people cope with stress varies. I’m a pretty anxious person, but I’m actually incredibly good to have on hand in a crisis. I also bizarrely enjoy these situations, because of how much calmer I feel. Like, it’s not that I’m not anxious in these scenarios (there is at least one point where I had someone else’s life in my hands, and that was fucking terrifying), but it felt like good anxiety.
I’ve heard similar experiences from some others with anxiety (and one friend who effectively “solved” her anxiety by becoming a paramedic). it blows my mind how much variety there is in how ill mental health manifests, and how much we still have to learn about how things work.
I’m glad to hear that your medication has helped you. It’s awesome to find something that helps, and to be able to blitz through tasks that were previously impossible to do. I felt a similar thing when I started ADHD medication.
Wouldn’t that be adrenaline or such helping you be calm?
Personally the way I cannot handle stress would be: deadlines that aren’t feasible. I’d be scratching heart area because it would feel weird.
When I’m overly stressed, I can’t keep myself from scratching certain areas. As my mind is going wild.
In such situations I am completely useless to others. It should be illegal for me to drive on the road with a car in such moments too. It feels like I’m more impacted than when drunk.
It makes more sense to me if I consider the potential impact of hypervigilance — “the elevated state of constantly assessing potential threats around you”. It’s associated with PTSD, and whilst my paramedic friend doesn’t have a diagnosis of that, I know that their family were abusive, and they identified that much of their anxiety stemmed from hypervigilance.
It makes sense to me that if someone’s anxiety is being driven by hypervigilance (a chronically dysregulated stress response), that some people may find it beneficial to put themselves in genuinely high stress situations, to sort of channel the stress into a sensible outlet.
Another related example is that I have a friend who goes for a run when she feels very anxious. She says that she’s found it ineffective to try logicking her way out of feeling anxious, or trying to calm herself down, and that going for a run feels like saying to her body “you’re absolutely right, there was something scary here, but now we have escaped it, and can relax”. I always find it interesting how people sometimes speak about their bodies and brains and existing separately from themselves, often in an attempt to reconcile the tensions between different aspects of ourselves
Going for a run is good against anxiety. Mostly because of the hormones in releases.
Endorphins and serotonine. Anxiety medication is about increasing the amount of serotonine or dopamine that gets used by your body/brain.
That’s why I said earlier that people should workout when they are depressed. The problem with depressed people is that they are too depressed to work out.
Hence, when they finally get some energy back, they better get active and workout to prevent a future episode as harshly.
I have absolutely no idea about traumatic experiences. Can’t relate how that would feel.
My experience is just due to genetics, it’s not anything that my environment did to me.
Yeah this is one of the reasons labor needs to organize.
There’s one boss telling 500 workers that they all need to work themselves to death? Fuck that. We outnumber him. We could be productive without burnout and things could be fine.
For anyone else reading this: you could be the one to make that change, and gain you and your coworkers better pay and time off.
Seriously consider joining the IWW. They’ll train you on how to organize your coworkers and form a grassroots union, no matter what your job is.
Thanks for the recommendation. I am heartened by recent pushes towards unions. In particular, tech workers are beginning to understand that they are workers (as opposed to the narrative that tech workers exist at a level above the kind of people who need unions).
I haven’t heard of the IWW, but the website for the UK branch has the headline “Bigoted bourgeoisie courts never cared about workers, whether cis or trans” (regarding a recent UK supreme court ruling). I haven’t read the article, but that headline has given me a strong first impression of these guys. They seem pretty based
I’ve been excited at that development as welk. It’s honestly a bit baffling it took them so long, especially game developers, where extreme crunch time and post release seasonal layoffs are the norm.
The IWW is the only union that leans heavily anarchist, with a rich history going back to 1905. :)
Unfortunately there is a pyramid scheme in place filled with fools that think they can become that one and are willing to fight against those “beneath” them.
True. There are also many idiots who think like, “I work hard and when I take a break it’s well deserved. When they take a break, they’re lazy good-for-nothings”.
There’s a name for this I can’t remember right now. Something more specific than “stupid” or “no empathy”.
Fundamental attribution error
Fundamental attribution error
Yes! That’s it! Thank you
Wiki on it: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fundamental_attribution_error
Under the table were the fatcats are sharing slices of the cake, squirrel the little mice living of the crumbs that fall down, and once in a while one of the mice catches a bigger crumb, proudly raises it above its head and shouts: “See, the System works!”
“recursive bulling”
I have a routine day job and a part time night job which I do from home on contract basis. I had vacation from my day job last week, because I have a sweet union job and get loads of vacation so some of it is just hanging out at home, but it’s AMAZING how job 2 expands to fill all that time, as well as every errand thing I have no time for, like haircuts. And my dork assed loser ex I still have to live with is like “well you can get these things done while you’re off”. I’m never off. Never ever.
Ugh that sucks. Is it not an option to drop that additional responsibility? Just say you can’t because of “prior obligations” (taking care of yourself)?
I find empathetic people are often the worst at letting things break so they can have one.
Not that I fully know your situation, so pardon my perscriptivising.
No, unfortunately I need the money, and my ex is a bad situation that I have to grey rock through.
Is it really that crazy to think you might have more time to do things when on vacation from your day job?
I do “productive vacations” mostly too, but sometimes you need a real break. I’m not even talking about going anywhere, but giving yourself time to just laze about and read and make meals and just do basic tidying, or whatever.
I don’t even have a paying job right now, but I can’t wait until I do, so I can take a week off to actually relax.
You might not need that, but I do.
It is actually. The amount I work is insane.
You honestly sound bitter
Why shouldn’t I be? I’ve worked at least 60 hours a week for 20 years, while he sits on his ass and watches hours of TV.
I agree. That’s why I said ‘fuck the system’ 13 years ago and haven’t spent a single second being a slave since then. Every day I wake up and don’t have to pay a house scalper is another victory against crapitalism.
Homeless?
Super Rich?
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