• 2 Posts
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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: July 3rd, 2023

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  • What part of the world are you in?

    In my experience, tinder is pretty bad. I don’t use facebook so I can’t vouch for that one, but I assume it’s also bad. I never got a single match on Bumble.

    Hinge, I got pretty good results on. Even though they’re all owned by the same Match Group, hinge seemed to work better. I could get about a date a week on hinge, as an average guy.

    I think it worked better for me because you can send a note when you see someone you like, so if you can write complete sentences you’re already a cut above the average guy.







  • Tell us more about your current usage. What are you doing and where is it failing?

    Some of the other posts already hit the highlights. Have a variety of well lit photos. Your profile should be short, but with some unique-ish hooks for people to talk about (eg: “reading ‘such and such’ for my book club!” - several things for someone to ask about there).

    When you do match with people, don’t send generic messages. Don’t just send “hey”. Go read https://nohello.net/en/ for a post about that in other contexts.

    After you’ve had one or two successful exchanges, clear any deal breakers you might have (eg: “really enjoying this conversation but wanted to make sure you saw on my profile I have a toddler. Are you okay with that?”). If that succeeds, ask them out.

    Don’t provide too many choices. People get overwhelmed easily. “I’d love to talk more about (whatever we we were talking about). Do you want to go on a date? I like (local bar), but (other bar) in your neighborhood looks fun, too!”. Two choices. They’ll probably pick one.

    More specific advice may be available if you tell us more about your specific experience





  • “Poor people are bad with money. That’s why they are poor.”

    I personally think a lot of rich people are bad with money. They’re just shielded from consequences because if you blow $200,000 on an expensive watch, and you have another $3,000,000 in the bank, it’s not going to ruin you. I’ve seen numerous examples of rich people just blowing money on bullshit. Meanwhile, poor people are like snipping coupons and making $1000 last a whole month.




  • Ehh I think celebrities is probably an example of why user-first is bad. They’re given too much weight. If Chris Evans wants to talk about the MCU he can post in an MCU forum. If he wants to go off about Israel, well he’s not an authority and we shouldn’t facilitate that halo effect of “well he’s famous so he’s probably smart”.

    A band can have their own website and participate in communities for their genre/location/etc.

    I’m painting with a broad brush but I think organizing by content rather than user is better in most cases.




  • On Twitter and Instagram you follow users. That’s user-first. You go there to see what so-and-so is saying, regardless of if it’s about cats or politics or their dinner plans.

    Reddit, lemmy, and traditional web forums are content first. You go to the video games subforum to talk about games, and the sports forum to talk about sports. You often don’t even read the user names. You’re there for the content.

    User-first stuff tends to incentivize bad behavior, I think. It becomes more about who’s saying it than what’s said.