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Anonymous_Leaker@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world ·
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15 hours ago

No Hantavirus, thank goodness.

lemmy.world

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No Hantavirus, thank goodness.

lemmy.world

Anonymous_Leaker@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world ·
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15 hours ago
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  • chunes@lemmy.world
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    2 hours ago

    the idea of needing a test to know whether you have chronic diarrhea is sending me

    • MinnesotaGoddam@lemmy.world
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      13 minutes ago

      So like, one of the poop tests measures (I think specific gravity?) in meters per second. And all I have thought about the past 30 years in a tiny corner of my brain is lab techs racing poops

    • Drusas@fedia.io
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      1 hour ago

      Or anal fissure.

  • Etterra@discuss.online
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    2 hours ago

    When you barely survive the Renfaire Fuckpocalypse.

  • Ceruleum@lemmy.wtf
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    5 hours ago

    You didn’t take your daily dose of Ivermectine?

  • MinnesotaGoddam@lemmy.world
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    6 hours ago

    I just checked your test results. You have Chronic Dying Disease. I’m so sorry, you have somewhere under 90 years to live. Have you been bicycling? It’s the only way i can think of to get test results like this

    • Anonymous_Leaker@lemmy.worldOP
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      45 minutes ago

  • green_goglin@thelemmy.club
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    9 hours ago

    they misspelt hentaivirus

    • Anonymous_Leaker@lemmy.worldOP
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      4 hours ago

      No, you did, lol. Edit: I looked up hantai… It wasn’t for me.

    • Sabata@ani.social
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      9 hours ago

      That’s what killed my family computer growing up.

  • Cyclist@lemmy.world
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    13 hours ago

    Anal fissure and chronic diarrhea qualify this as a shitpost.

    • Anonymous_Leaker@lemmy.worldOP
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      13 hours ago

      If I may be so bold, I say it is top notch!

  • jaybone@lemmy.zip
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    11 hours ago

    I don’t mind fake posts when they at least try.

    • MinnesotaGoddam@lemmy.world
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      6 hours ago

      i also like them when they tee up good jokes in the comments.

      the best comedians don’t take every punchline. sometimes they set them up for other folk to tell the punchline to the joke, and it’s funnier that way. the role is called The Straight Man (and as an absurdist NB Bi dude it’s really amusing to play The Straight Man)

      • jaybone@lemmy.zip
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        6 hours ago

        I was implying whoever made this didn’t really try. So it kind of annoyed me.

        • MinnesotaGoddam@lemmy.world
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          6 hours ago

          oh no worries. it’s a low hanging fruit for sure, but some low-hanging-fruit jokes are still fun to tell. when you’re still learning comedy, that’s where you start, and those of us who are more experienced still laugh just as hard to encourage.

          my favorite joke is (and it suffers from text, the real joke is in the delivery and timing):

          two pretzels were walking down the street

          one was assaulted

          pretzel

          it’s a terrible joke and i love it no one can tell me it’s bad because all you’re exposing is your underappreciation of wordplay :3

  • Son_of_Macha@lemmy.cafe
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    6 hours ago

    Bubonic plague is easy to treat with subs general antibiotics, you were very lucky.

  • lennee@lemmy.world
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    12 hours ago

    balls twisted AND on fire

  • MinnesotaGoddam@lemmy.world
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    6 hours ago

    HANTAVIRUS???

  • Björn@swg-empire.de
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    14 hours ago

    HIV, HPV, spooky vaginosis
    Sinning with your naked bod is evil and atrocious

    • bizarroland@lemmy.world
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      5 hours ago

      And even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious

      Supercalifragilisticexpalidocius!

    • Anonymous_Leaker@lemmy.worldOP
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      14 hours ago

      You know that old saying, YOLO!

      • betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
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        14 hours ago

        Any YOLO’s a goal-o.

  • wuffah@lemmy.world
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    10 hours ago

    Oh no, you’ve got diarrhea AIDS!

  • OriginEnergySux@lemmy.world
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    13 hours ago

    • gigastasio@sh.itjust.works
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      10 hours ago

      I am an American

      I make my own choices

      I stand strong!

      dies

    • Tiral@lemmy.world
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      12 hours ago

      I know this has been around for a while, but is this dude for real? I know it was originally COVID, but this guy is a moron.

      • MinnesotaGoddam@lemmy.world
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        6 hours ago

        isn’t he a Cain Award winner?

      • crunchy@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        12 hours ago

        This guy is like a quarter of the people I work with.

      • OriginEnergySux@lemmy.world
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        12 hours ago

        I hope not

  • Anonymous_Leaker@lemmy.worldOP
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    15 hours ago

  • snoons@lemmy.ca
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    14 hours ago

    ITT: ITT

    • MinnesotaGoddam@lemmy.world
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      11 minutes ago

      Oh I’ll in your thread you

      Yeah that didn’t work at all I’ll come in again

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