maybe it happened
“Hi. I hope this date finds you well” stuff. Heh, I’d cancel too.
AI can be pretty good at finding local events and activity suggestions. Is Googling it any better?
I’m always suspicious of tweets where the author defeats a strawman but this followup post has me pretty convinced of its inauthenticity
No, I have literally never done that. I have never once in my life confused the two lol
telling a date that u use a chatbot to decide is lame
Using the chat bot to make your plans in the first place is even more lame.
I wouldn’t say “more”, but it’s still lame. Announcing that you used an LLM shows you’re ai-pilled enough to think that’s a brag
My husband started using AI to come up with sights we might want to see on vacation and routes we might want to take through them. It’s fine. I think it could atrophy his brain, but I’m not going to divorce him over it.
Ew.
Yes because everybody knows everywhere about their local area, and they have lots of free time and free money
You don’t know one cool bar, restaurant, or park in your area?
“Yes because everybody knows how to think and learn things, yeah okay suuuure”
It’s not even hard to plan a date. It’s pride month and the world cup and nice outside, the possibilities abound
“it’s nice outside” hey so could you tell me where? I want to go hiking but it’s so humid I’ll drown if the heat doesn’t sear my skin first. And I’m not even in the south.
I’m in the PNW but I’m contractually obligated to say it’s shit so people don’t keep moving here.
Hiking some of the PNW is legit on my bucket list but no worries, I’m not planning to move
Haha please do, it’s gorgeous, I’m just being a grinch
Imagine being this braindead
So, use a computer for ideas but be dishonest?
Just talking with someone the other day and in the conversation they said “I asked ChatGPT…” about something being discussed. I immediately ceased to give weight to their input. Either they thought they were flexing by namedropping AI or too lazy to do their own thinking. Either way, they instantly lost me.
I tried AI again the other day, just for a yearly check in. Gemini’s Pro model was more apologetic than ever when it changed the basis of its narrative SIX TIMES in seven prompts.
I was simply asking it to describe the counterweight mechanism in a piece of common machinery. It changed from industrial gas struts, to no support and being too heavy to handle, to two large springs (correct), back to no support but now because it’s feather light, and so on. I simply kept asking it to stop fabricating answers and to verify from a parts diagram, the URL for which I provided. Its apologies and explanations grew longer and more elaborate each time.
We had good laughs, but sorry about the power and water usage.
Yeah I have all the LLMs through work, so every now and then I’m like wtf let’s give it a shot, I need to do a super fuzzy search over a large semantic area and why what do I have here…
Number one, it saps any little bit of joy I might have taken out of work, and two, “speaking” to it makes me feel insane. Like I’m talking to the world’s most polite gaslighter. And it’s so confidently wrong all the time.
I’m fine just loading up my squishy human brain with context and then executing, but increasingly its getting harder to parse online docs (including internal!), articles, and other resources, because they’ve been slopped up by a process that doesn’t actually understand anything it’s generating.
had a similar thing happen with something pretty simple I had to contact my bank about. After about 12 tries of it not understanding I finally got a human who got it in the first reply.
Relax everyone, this didn’t actually happen
Ffs, are we really like this?
Three years ago when ChatGPT was starting to trickle down to the boomers, I was at a wedding where the brides father held a speech. It was the most generic nonsense I have ever heard and at the end he proudly said that this speech was written with ChatGPT. He wasn‘t even embarrassed.
My dad just used some form of AI to hallucinate a “song” for Mom and their anniversary. He got real mad when I said I didn’t want to hear it. Both Mom and I have degrees in music and play an instrument or two. He still couldn’t figure out why it mattered.
Oh man, that hurts to read
How is your dad married to your mother for that long without picking up that self expression comes from a human being? It’s like a fundamental aspect of art.
Tbf most people don’t define music as self expression.
If you create a song, or any piece of art, that’s self expression. Especially if it’s to commemorate something/someone important to you. You’re literally expressing how you feel about the subject.
If you got a machine to approximate something, that shows you recognised that the effort would be meaningful, and didn’t do it. Poorly drawn crayon art would be more meaningful.
From the artist’s POV, I understand. But that’s just not how the average listener perceives it.
Nobody says that.
Nobody bothers to
Oh wow jfc
Ok, that’s insane. If you don’t have enough feelings or love for your child to write a speech for their wedding… Then don’t give a fucking speech at all.
Oh no, someone used a big babble machine for brainstorming ideas! How despicable! /i
Jesus fucking christ we’re far gone
Biggest mistake: showing her you don’t care.
If you want to win anyone’s heart you gotta be vulnerable, put in some effort that comes from within yourself. And that’s scary, because making the wrong choice can backfire.
But flat out saying “have some fancy schmamcy chatgtp on the house ma’am” is the equivalent of “personality? Me? Nah.”.
Using AI for stuff like this => IS <= disgusting, most people just haven’t caught on yet.
BooM Goes The Dynomite
I’ll go a different direction here: what you suggest for a first date is an opportunity to show how cool you are.
I went on an amazing coffee date with a woman where she took me to a tiny coffee and chocolate shop that was amazing. Sure, most of why the date went great was that we clicked instantly and chatted for hours until we really had to go and that we both found each other very attractive, but the setting set the stage, I just don’t think it would’ve gone as well in a Starbucks.
My first date with my wife she took me to the only lesbian bar in town then the next morning brunch at a popular cool taqueria. I remember thinking how she seemed so cool and in touch with the cool and fun parts of a city I’d been interested in since visiting occasionally in college.
I’ve had multiple great first dates to just local Mexican restaurants, followed by a walk in a park. They tended to be with women who had families and thus limited time and money, that too is personality. It involved the collaboration of “hey do you like mexican?” And when we enjoyed the meal, “there’s a park nearby and I still have time, want to go for a walk”?
All of these served as ways to show some personality and to establish a baseline for what you think a fun night out with your partner could be. The first girl and I didn’t enter a relationship because life got in the way shortly afterwards, so I can’t say how it would have gone. But for the moms, yeah dates were typically a cheap meal, a cheap or free experience, often involving walking, and constrained by the fact that their kids and husbands (polyamory not cheating) were their top priorities. With my wife, just as that first date, our nights out together often involve a bit too much at a queer bar followed by hours upon hours of talking and maybe a meal at a cool but cheap restaurant before or after.
If you use chatgpt to decide on a first date plans I’m going to assume that 5 years ago you were the type to have a first date at fridays or applebees. And not because you really liked it, or thought it was a good value, but because it was a sit down restaurant nearby that you know is good enough and most people are fine with. It says a night out will be bland if anything, and probably the bare minimum. Fucking hell, asking “so what do you like to do for a first date?” is more interesting and charming than that, it at least implies that you’re either very considerate or looking for a partner to take the lead or make decisions.
It’s like Facebook chat asking if I want to summarize a conversation with my friends with AI. Mf’er, I spend time with these people because I enjoy it. Why in the hell would I want to run my conversation with them through a slop filter?
You also should show a bit of yourself. Your own interests, preferences, etc. An AI cannot help with that, unless you are the AI.
If someone wants an AI dinner date, they can make that up themselves.
At worst, just outright ask them if you’re unsure, to see what they might be into. They’d likely appreciate the thought.
Just curious. I realize this community is probably the wrong place to ask, but how would you feel about someone using AI to brainstorm some date ideas but still doing the actual selection and planning themselves (and not bragging about using AI as something to admire)? To me, it doesn’t feel too different from doing a web search of “date ideas” and working off whatever lists you get.
Then just do the ned search if its not so much diffefent?
Well, I’m not saying it excuses anything, but there are still differences in interactivity, personalization, feedback, summarization, etc.
Dates should help you get to know each other. They should be things you already enjoy doing, or places you like to go, or want to see if you like. Expressions of who you are.
Asking the AI at all is a large part of the problem because it screams you have no personality and no preferences and think dating is some Hollywood romcom style big showy thing that it’s not and shouldn’t be. Every happily married couple I know goes on simple dates and always has. You shouldn’t need a list of date ideas. Period.
My wife and I went to her favourite restaurant for our first date, our most recent date was walking through a bookstore and showing each other fun covers. One of my best friends, his first date with his wife was just hanging out at a local park eating sandwiches and their most recent date was learning to make pierogi together. Things we enjoy or they enjoy. (Married about ten years for reference) Every happy couple I know has similar stories no matter how long they’ve been together. Even my 22 year old cousin.
If you need a list of date ideas. Just write down the stuff you like to do, or want to try. Done.
Anything bigger should be a special thing with someone and it should be special to you and your partner and looking for a list of other people’s ideas is the wrong move.
Okay, thank you. I’m autistic, and social activities are very challenging for me in general, so it’s genuinely helpful to have examples that show the expectations can be low.
No worries but I should clarify a little bit though.
Expectations can absolutely be high but the key is to find someone with the same expectations as you. I do know one couple who’s first date was skydiving and their wedding was a destination ski trip. The key is that that was who they both were before the relationship. Either one of them would not last in a relationship where dates are coffee shops and bookstores and such. It’s not “showy” relative to their usual selves.
If your idea of a good time is visiting the local gardens, and your date likes butterflies, then you’ve got a first date. If your idea of a good time is a rock climbing gym and your date enjoys editing together videos, then build your first date around a GoPro and a climb.
The lady in the original post met the guy in an art class, her expectation was probably to go get a coffee and visit a museum with his favourite local painting or something that they could talk about. Nothing fancy, just an expression of himself.
Thanks again for being willing to provide all that. In my defense, I did say expectations “can be” low, not that they always would be. It might be a moot point anyway. I’m still working out earlier steps.
At that point they should just get a rubber ducky.
Bubble Bath
Referring to this?
Yup
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Bruh how daft can you be 🤦, this lady dodged a bullet
I dunno, I mean I think AI is stupid too, but she could have gave the guy a chance. Explained that she didn’t like AI and the use of it, and valued creativity over it. Dating is already so stupid, like you have to be on guard about every little thing.
Makes you wonder what else she’s this defensive about? Wore red instead of white, boom this lady is gone. Like Pepsi instead of Cola? She’s outty. Maybe it’s him that dodged the bullet…
To me, someone who doesn’t even care about planning something as simple as a date, it’s an indicator they won’t care about most thing in the relationship and will try to ChatGPT their problems away.
I mean, the parameters for a first date are generally pretty simple and low-key. It’s generally type-of-food (lunch, dinner, coffee) plus type-of-activity (walk, movie, game-of-some-sort (bowling, axe throwing, whatever)). They’re using AI to accomplish a pretty simple task. Which means they’re also likely to offload harder tasks as well. I am not your mom, your secretary, your PA, your maid, your cook, your housekeeper, your personal shopper, etc, etc.
Your t h e r a p i s t
If they need assistance with something that simple, then she successfully dodged a bullet.
So did he for sure.
She’d probably expect him to take an active role in participating in their relationship, shudder.
Hahaha, good luck getting dates with your slop generator!
Yeah if you just aren’t paying any attention.
Yes but the purpose of the date isn’t just to go through the motions of a typical date. It’s to get to know each other. I expect a person to suggest a place they like, and that tells me something useful and opens the conversation.
Suppose someone suggests trying a new (to them at least) restaurant on a date? I guess that communicates something sordid.
It says they’re adventurous and it says what sort of things (at least food wise) interest them. It also potentially indicates a vibe. “Hey, I’ve been hearing that an izakaya style place opened up, and I don’t think you can go wrong with beer and fried food, you want to try it out?” Compared to “I’ve heard really good things about Ethiopian food, but I’ve never had it. Want to be adventurous?” Or “Let’s grab a coffee. Here I’ll look up small coffee shops a reasonable distance from both of us.” Or even “Do you like Mexican food? I’ll see what options are nearby.”
All of them say different things about the person and all of them are great ways to propose a plan for a date
And that’s fine. What are your thoughts on going home and screaming about it on social media and trying to farm that virtue?
A woman writing a post on social media is screaming in order to farm virtue? You sound like a little incel removed.
You took like a tiny morsel of something, and just cranked it to 11. Please remove me from whatever timeline you are on, trust me we have zero in common. Our paths never need to cross again. I dont like the serially traumatized.
Cry more, incel.
I mean maybe. I could see that to be the case, but it might also just be something sort of innocent. I tend to try to see the good in people when I can.
… Except the woman that made the post?
Can you please just stop? No one’s a victim here.
Of course it’s innocent. He didn’t try to hide it from her. That doesn’t make it any less of a red flag.
Cogsucker.
How am I a “cogsucker?”
You’re symping for the slop machine.
All use of AI is bad (except medical stuff if you’re just too poor to see a doctor - bad idea, but if it’s all you have access to, I won’t knock you for it) and any use deserves to be socially punished.
Holy shit medical is one of the worst uses
Yeah but if you literally can’t afford to go to the doctor, you’ll take anything you can get.
Have you ever been in that position?
I have symapthy for it, but searching the internet is also free, and isn’t a bullshit machine
…how do you get that, from what I have said??
I see reddit users have showed up to Lemmy now. Because this is as logical as that rat nest of noise.
Nah, now he knows for next time. The point of a relationship is to get to know the other person, not the soulless imitation of whatever bullshit this program scraped off the internet.
Ok but that’s also quite absurd. Have you ever googled anything to get an idea or used a GPS program when you were lost? That’s just about tantamount to that, I think he’s just someone that’s probably nervous and looking for ideas, wanting to impress a girl he’s interested in. There’s no need to turn this to 11 over something so innocuous.
I disagree wholeheartedly. She saved herself from a very uninteresting person.
Personally I find people that go home, make some sort of soapbox post like this (that also sounds sort of made up), and grandstands to farm the outrage highly unattractive. That gives me a lot of “look at me” energy and vibes. So I mean if this guy’s like me, then I’d say both sides dodged a bullet!?
Yeah, I suppose!
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Oh man, your mod history is exactly what one would expect from a nuanced take like that.
Congrats on the consistency though, don’t often see dedication like that these days.
Could be a troll acct, judging by the username.
Hahaha, did Cgpt form that opinion for you or did you shit it out all by yourself? Either way, congrats on putting your pants on today, big guy!
I think we spotted the slop-gobbler here.
Don’t like…rational thought? I don’t like AI, which is kind of the whole point of this sub, isn’t it?
I also don’t like when people jump to broad exaggerated conclusions over something stupid. It’s not like the guy was making her an AI sex bot, like even as much as I hate AI, this is basically using it as Google. Which would be fine, that’s about the most it’s useful for (and marginally at that).
No. No use of AI, which unnecessarily pollutes our only livable planet and consumes our limited supply of freshwater, is “fine”.
You do realize it’s probably some reused script from somewhere. This whole freshwater thing is also an exaggeration. This whole AI delusion is just that, a delusion. It’s a bunch of hype and salesperson bullshit. It won’t get to the point where we lose all of our freshwater, this bitch is about to blow from a bubble perspective. Then it’ll just be on to the next shiny toy, from an investor standpoint. Watch this next part!
If he had said “I did a Google search for a bunch of date ideas” would that have been acceptable? No, of course not.
If someone needs/wants to use AI to do extremely simple things like plan their date activities, that’s a good indication that they are an exceedingly uninteresting and unengaging person overall. They can’t even do the simple things, so the hard stuff in life is going to be insurmountable and they’ll be a massive burden on their friends and partner(s).
Where’s the incentive to “give them a chance” in this scenario? The books at home are the better option by far.
This reminds me of when I was a teenager, spending time chatting with multiple people simultaneously on MSN Messenger and AIM (man, how did I manage that?)
There were some people who’d just say, “I’m bored.” That’s it. I never knew how to respond. I usually said something like, “Oh, that sucks.” But their conversations never went anywhere besides complaining about boredom, so I usually stopped talking pretty quick. I get the impression they were just looking to have me entertain them somehow, despite putting no effort into making it worth my while. Bruh, I’m having three other conversations about fascinating topics, catching up with a friend living in another continent, and participating in a group RPG, all without anybody whining that they can’t think of something to do. Step up or step out, your boredom isn’t my problem.
A huge portion of the apps is just that. And I get it it’s awkward and it can be boring having the same conversation over and over. I sometimes am guilty of it too.
But I suspect a lot of people don’t really actively engage with stuff enough to be able to be interesting. I’ve seen people blame consumptive hobbies (as opposed to productive ones), but hell tell me about the TV show you’ve been watching or the video game you’ve been playing. If you’re consuming it in a critical manner you can say “well I really like what they did with the villain here, it really touches on the theme of [x], though I think sometimes the messaging is inconsistent”. Or “Oh yeah I really love these mechanics, it’s been fun watching the series evolve”. Fucking hell tell me what you think about a YouTube video you recently watched. I think some people basically disassociate into entertainment.
But yeah chatting without a prompt can be difficult, especially when not face to face. Getting to face to face relatively quickly is something I generally recommend people do while on the apps to minimize it. But also like, actually interact with life and the other person.
It’s kind of hand in hand with our age of glut. Take Netflix for example, I can sit there for an hour, not actually watch anything, and just endlessly scroll through stuff, because there’s too much. Its the same with these dating app things, like people cease to be people and instead are just menus and choices and things essentially. It’s turned us all (myself included) into vapid empty beings. I just don’t think we are meant to be as connected with each other, as we are today. I don’t think it’s healthy for our long term prosperity.
A lot of people seem to engage with dating with that same energy. You match, they write “hey”, and then wait for you to entertain them. A lot of social things are garbage-in, garbage-out.
I don’t think this would be the same as that. It’s one step before that. It’s basically like saying I’m looking at this persons status and name, and making broad assumptions without ever actually talking with them in any sort of detail.
Now if they went on the date and then the person was using chat gpt or whatever for everything, or using it constantly, well then yeah that would be pretty dumb and a bit more tantamount to your example.
Sorry but you seem to be arrogant about how sociable other people naturally are. Good for you if you had many friends to do interesting things with and never felt bored, but I find it hurtful that you think not having those traits is to be shunned. You don’t owe internet strangers entertainment, but is it such a crime that you need to rant about it decades after the fact?
Edit: Wording
I never had many friends to do interesting things with. I talked to people online when it was still new and shiny, and I was a teenager, with the energy to socialize in a way I sure can’t today. It was a different world - sometimes people would make a group MSN chat with a number of people and we’d just get to know each other through those mutual friends, who lived all around the world. Rarely did I have a group in person to do things with. I spent a lot of time alone, cultivating my own interests and skills. I didn’t “shun” anyone, I just had to choose how to spend my limited time and energy after school. Would you rather talk with someone that responds to your ideas and thoughtfully considers them, or someone who brushes everything off just to come back to saying, “I’m bored” no matter how much you try to engage them?
It’s also strange to categorize what I said as a “rant.” I was reminded of something from the past and I mentioned it in a comment that was along the same lines, remembering how I felt about it at the time. That’s hardly a rant.
I understand, I see that you had no bad intentions. As an asocial and regularly bored kid myself (even if not in this particular manner) it just made me sad that I might be remembered by people in a negative light even decades later
Aww, I understand. I was an extremely awkward kid myself and have had those worries. If it helps, most people don’t recall the minutiae of our uncomfortable moments, if they remember anything about them at all.
Also, I still value the person who told me he was bored all the time. I wouldn’t have kept him on my friends’ list if I didn’t. I don’t talk to him today, but that’s because of diverging life paths and the distance it creates. If we’d still lived around each other, perhaps we’d still be in contact.
Either way, I try not to worry about what people thought of me as a teen. I’ve grown, they’ve grown (hopefully), and if they did then I imagine even they look back at their teenage selves and cringe. You’re not the same person you used to be, and you should be proud of the strides you’ve taken to come this far. ♥️
The trait to be shunned in that is the trait of pushing your entertainment off on others.
When someone’s entire engagement is “I’m bored”, the unspoken follow-up is “entertain me”. This generation loves to go on and on and on about “emotional labour”. Well guess what: that unspoken “entertain me” is, get this, emotional labour.
Perhaps the people who say “I’m bored” should be told what I was told when I was single-digit aged: “There’s no such thing as being bored, only being boring.”
You’re reading malintent into an innocent phrase. They could be subtly asking to be let in a friend group or just venting. There are many ways you could respond to such a sentence besides giving them entertainment.
If you don’t have the slight bit of emotional availability to engage with them just don’t. It’s cringe to then go ranting about the time a boring person dared engaging with you and you stopped talking to them because you had so many friends.
Edit: To make my point clear, it’s not that one has to engage the person in question. But focusing on how doing so affects them without a hint of understanding that it’s the other person clearly in need of something is an indication of their own emotional immaturity. If you help someone in need you can brag. If you don’t because you don’t have the resources to help nobody can blame you, but you don’t get to be upset they asked.
They didn’t ask, is the point. They just said “I’m bored”.
That’s all quite different. Been there done that, dropped out. But judging someone over a petty thing like this is petty in itself. Maybe he’s not even a fan of AI, just thought it would be a cute idea to fly by her. Had I received an info sheet on my wife’s background and beliefs, I would never had responded to her.
I mean no one can force you to do something you don’t want, or can force you to have a certain opinion about something. But the difference here with you, I would assume anyways, that a) you didn’t make this up like this person probably did and b) you probably wouldn’t feel the need to go home and get on your soapbox and put that person on blast on your social media for it. That’s kind of stupid when you think about it. What if that guy or gal reads that? Great way to put someone down and hurt their feelings.
It’s a rough way to get that lesson for sure, but maybe he’ll learn for the future. If you coddle him then he’ll never learn.
How is this different then googling date ideas and clicking a listacle? Effort wise it’s about the same and you could make the same argument on their reliance on Google/Internet.
It seems that Internet dependence has become accepted as the norm while AI dependence is still new enough that there are people who don’t regularly use it and thus feel superior for their independence in this one specific area.
Honestly the listacle is a bit cringe if you’re at an age where most people can be expected to have been on a few dates. There’s a huge difference between searching for coffee shops/museums/whatever else in your area or even “things to do in x area” and searching for first date ideas. The former says you have a structure in mind, but you don’t necessarily know the specific locations, the latter says you have no idea and didn’t think the first source to ask is the person you’re going on a date with.
And as for llms vs general internet use goes? Yeah using llms is a turn off. I find the ability to write for oneself and process and analyze text for themselves important traits in a partner. What I’ve seen from llm users is that they often cede those skills.
How is this different then googling date ideas and clicking a listacle?
If I was about to go on a date with somebody and I said “Okay, I did a Google search for date ideas and I found a listicle” I would expect to be ghosted, too. Probably preceded by some hilarious laughter.
It doesn’t even matter if AI or not. The point is, if you’re too dumb/lazy/busy/whatever to come up with an idea yourself, at least don’t tell your date that you are.
I guess not, hey?
What do all us unoriginal people do then? Just curious? I mean dating in my day was a movie or a walk somewhere with a Starbucks or whatever. This was before texting and dating apps though. We definitely still struggled with this question, and I feel like I probably bored the shit out of a few girls. No doubt about it. Some of us are just boring though.
You’re probably being too hard on yourself, but the obvious answer is “Get a personality”.
It’s not, but people just want to be angry and climb on soapboxes.
If someone makes a judgment call on something so petty as this, that’s an indicator they’re a picky pain in the ass. God knows what she will next find offensive.
Misogyny described as pro-ai propaganda? Why am I not surprised
That’s kind of my thing here too, and she seems pretty smug about it (if it’s even real - people exaggerate on social media). That would be a major turn off for me anyways. I’ve been off the market so long that I’m not even sure I’d ever be able to do this successfully anyways - the apps and all the other bullshit. Dating was hard enough in my time, let alone that noise.
Why does someone likely in their 40’s need to give someone a chance, particularly someone that thoughtless?
I’d say she already gave him a chance - she said “yes,” after all. He was so close, he just needed to use his own brain and put a little personal effort into planning the date. He could’ve even been honest about not knowing what to do and said something like, “I’d like to have some of your input to make our plans. I was thinking of a movie, but there’s a museum not far from me. The park’s really nice this time of year, too, if you’d prefer to be outdoors. Do any of those sound good to you? Do you have any ideas to add?”
I mean, that’s what I’d do. It’s not hard to think of things if you know a person a bit, but if you don’t know them well enough yet to know what they’d like, that’s okay too! Make it clear you want something you’d both enjoy and turn it into a discussion. No AI is going to know what she likes better than she does, so just go to the source.
And if that’s too much effort, then perhaps dating in itself would be too much effort.
No one owes anyone a chance, but one should take chances. This is Dating 101. If someone rejects me over some petty issue like this, they’re going to reject me later for something equally petty. And dating gets hard as we age and take on baggage from past relationships. I only drew the line at MAGA, racism, shit like that. Hell, my wife still attributes some of my thoughts and actions as if I’m her ex.
And who says he was thoughtless? Maybe he found the idea cute and wanted to fly it by her? He’s likely not in a social group that hates AI like we do here. Had a date propose we meet at the antique/thrift mall. One could take that as she’s poor or cheap or whatever. Her reasoning when we met? “People on first dates shouldn’t spend money on each other until they catch a vibe.” (My words, hers were better but I forget.)
tl;dr: Too much room to misinterpret someone when you first meet, especially before a first date. If they seem attractive enough in the ways you seek, give them a chance. You owe it to yourself, not them.
I’ll just say that dating changes as you age
It sure does, and you come with lots of baggage. I’m quite sure her closet has just as many skeletons as mine does.
Well aware! I was dating hot and heavy at 49-52, been there, done that. But we should be aware that our aging assumptions and baggage can hold us back. Take a chance or die alone, whatever floats one’s boat, that’s their call.
What ever floats your boat is absolutely correct, this man did not float this ladies boat so she nipped it in the bud.
And I’d argue it was the likely the best case scenario for both of them (making a couple assumptions)
AI is a little different than coke vs Pepsi dude but sure.
There are for sure things where you can know you’re not compatible with someone and being dependent on AI can be a pretty big flag. It’s not her job to fix him just so he’d dateable.
It’s not her job to fix him just so he’d dateable.
This, right here, bold and in lights. Women coddle men too damn much.
For me, I’m enough against the casual use of AI that someone who does what he did is like someone who has significantly different political views than me. AI data centers take obscene amounts of energy and water. I’m very much in favor of, for instance, machine learning applications being used to identify diseases in pathology slides. That’s something that can help humanity to an extent that it’s likely worth the resources. But to suggest plans for a date? That’s nauseating.
It’s also an opportunity to take the time to explain that to someone then. Your points are all valid, don’t get me wrong. But what’s changed in the world, is everyone just immediately heads for their position or stance, and then feels the need to defend it like it’s a blood sport. It’s why we are in the state of the world that we are in, and I think it’s mainly social media and really bad powerful interests that’s done that to us. Only those folks win when we get like this. Explain, rationalize and get to know people, and their side. Appreciate their side and have an honest debate/conversation then. Some people are just pieces of shit, and there’s no getting that to them, and I mean maybe that’s the case here too even. But figure that out instead of just jumping off a cliff and assuming, right?
I personally would probably tell the other person why I’m cancelling on the date, yes.
And while I broadly agree with your point, the fact of the matter is that we have become very polarized, to the point where often discussion is pointless. For instance, I’m just not going to bother explaining my views on trans rights or immigration to someone wearing a MAGA hat. That’s an emblem of someone who has become so entrenched in views that are the opposite of mine that is not worth discussing. Likewise, I don’t care to hear anything they have to say on the matter.
Fair enough on the MAGA hat stuff. You can’t rationalize with people that are that polarized. I’m not 100% sure that’s the case here though, that this person would be that far gone, I mean we’d never know from the very little we do know, but hey I mean you are free to make your decisions rightfully wrongfully or otherwise. And you shouldn’t feel guilty or any weight or burden for making them for the reasons that you do.
I also meant to add just maybe don’t scream about it on social media and farm the outrage and virtue, like this person seems to be doing. That changes this from someone making a choice, to someone making a choice and making entertaiment/drama over it. Two different things.
No one has to do anything or is obligated to give someone a chance at the early level of dating implied in this image. At that point, you are interacting with someone you do not know and it is socially acceptable for either party to end things clearly if that is what feels right and comfortable for them. AI usage is not some simple ethically clean topic akin to choosing a favorite soda like you claim, and it’s weird that you even tried to compare those things. Having strong opinions on that topic, or any other major controversial topic, and choosing not to engage with someone due to differing views on that topic, is fine and expected.
You claiming dating is stupid, that you feel defensive about it and have to be on edge, and then victim blaming the woman in this scenario for doing nothing wrong all come to together to paint a really unhealthy picture. I sincerely hope you can work through what you have going on and, if you so choose, find someone right for you that makes the relationship feel rewarding.
I think she made how she felt about AI pretty clear. Now, if there’s something about him that still attracts her, then yes… give him another chance. Absent that, have him hit the road. Don’t ignore such an obvious red flag unless you have a damn good reason.
Man you have angered the anti ai people
I guess so!
They almost seem to be as delusional and out of touch as the ultrapro AI people, honestly.
It started out as an anti ai sub where you could often at least discuss things, but now? If you’re not thinking AI == GENOCIDE you are obviously too stupid to breathe 😁.
Makes me think of the Luddites, rightfully angry about something (job loss) but missing that it’s here to stay no matter what people do (for those who don’t know, they hated (automatic) looms and burned them to the ground, to no or little effect).
You think it’s delusional to hate an ultra capitalist program, which scraped the entirety of human knowledge for free off the Internet, and now people are unloading the most basic human interactions to an unthinking machine that just makes realistic replies, despite them being wrong 60% of the time?
Hmmm…
I just don’t use it. I also don’t like many other things, but I don’t get borderline psychotic over it. Holy fuck is this sub hysterical. I’m quite anti AI myself, but this is something else
It’s literally giving people brain damage and unveiling schizophrenia in some people who use it. Its accelerating our ecocide. There are lots of reasons to actively hate it.
Remember that Lemmy, and this sub in particular, is absolutely rabidly anti-AI. It’s like the Jellyfin vs Plex thing dialed up to 111
Uhh yeah the name of the sub is fuck_AI, who would’ve think people here hate AI for what it is.
Bro why the fuck are you here?
I’m anti-AI too, but this is kind of absurd for sure. It’s like anything else special interest I guess. If you type I like four strokes and don’t really miss two strokes into a dirtbike sub, those people all get like this too.
Agreed. Not liking LLMs is fine (and might make for an interesting discussion topic over dinner!), but this is petty. She was looking for an excuse to reject before being rejected, or maybe wasn’t very attracted to him to begin with.
It would kind of seem that way to me too. If this is even real, social media is wild for people just absolutely making shit up and then making themselves the victims of their own imaginary bullshit. I’ve come to hate social media as much as AI, even though I’m hopelessly addicted to it just like everyone else. Glad I didn’t grow up in a world where I had to date with all this bullshit and noise.
It’s a good idea though. You write down 6 things and throw a dice. You’ll even hear “AI” whispered in the wind.
