Be the vegetable you want to be
ok
It probably feels a lot more like this
Peppers and cucumbers are the traumatic forced abortions of the plant world. Broccoli and cauliflower are the amputated sex organs of the plants that were cut from their bodies. Celery, brussel sprouts, and artichokes are severed limbs of plants. This is a literal mass grave of dead and dying vegetation, an alter to the horrific mutilation and abuse perpetrated on an entire kingdom of life by humans. A final act of humiliation before we condemn them to the hell of cooking and consumption. I doubt the spray mist provides much comfort.
More meat it is then. Save the vegetables!
I’m not vegetarian because I like animals. I’m vegetarian because I hate plants.
Guess I’ll just eat rocks then ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Oh sure. They’ve spend millions of years sedimenting to form or metamorphasizing in the warm molten bosom of Mother Earth, just so you can selfishly stuff your gob with their crunchy goodness. I hope you are happy with yourself.
Scientists have determined that rocks have souls. This revelation came on the heels of the discovery last month that souls definitely exist.
The only ethical move is to starve.
On a more serious note, plants communicate with each other through the plant version of pheromones, and some utilize an underground internet / postal service of sorts made of fungi mycelium called a mycelial network. They can even use this network to pass nutrients to plants that are in need.
They’re minerals, Grostleton.
You should hang out by the veggie tray at parties.
That’s how I met my partner. We both love dips. We could talk or not talk about dips all day long and then do it again tomorrow.
That’s fucking metal
Awesome! I’ma start a death metal band and put celery and brussel sprouts on the album covers.
- Track 1: “I will Eat your Artichoke!”
- Track 2: “Your Chopped Broccoli Falling on the Floor”
- Track 3: “Sliced Cucumber”
- etc
Not metal, but here’s some Vegetable Soul: https://youtube.com/watch?v=IKQjHwVc8b0
Fuck you vegetables, you little delicious motherfuckers. I will eat your dicks and corpses.
DOOM music intensifies
There is a religion called Jainism that actually tries to avoid harming even tiny organisms and plants. As such they avoid eating things like root vegetables that require the entire plant to be killed in order to harvest them.
Interestingly they are not necessarily against drinking milk, as milking an animal is viewed similarly to harvesting a fruit. Though its my understanding that they may still object to industrial milk production.
In traditional agriculture, you just feed, house and care for an animal, and when its young stops drinking milk, you keep milking the mother so it doesn’t stop making milk.
I can’t see any suffering in that.
Industrialized milk production is a complete perversion of that. It’s what happens when you take a symbiotic relationship and add Capitalism.
I haven’t seen these for over a decade now, they used to be in most stores but it was pretty obvious it created a lot of issues because of all the “moistness”. Good that they got rid of it, at least here in Sweden.
I feel like “the moistness” ought to be a shitty b movie world ending blight.
“Grandpa was killed by the moistness; he shouldn’t havee en been in that valley without his power dryers”
The real moistness was the friends we killed along the way.
Contrary to what you may believe, you don’t have to envy these vegetables and can indeed take a shower yourself.
Thats a misting not a shower tho. Also those veggies aint paying for that water.
Yeah but I’ll never feel as good as those vegetables.
You mean cut and dead?
Dead vegetable reproductive organs.
Get your Brassica out for the lads
Vegan gore
oh
that’s gore
that’s gore of my comfort food
Getting that brocussy
Now in damp!
I’ve been on some patios in the summer that actually do this. It does feel very good.
I don’t think you would feel that much being a vegetable, but since no person has ever come back from the vegetable state you just can’t tell.
I think a coma is distinct from a vegetative state. If I’m remembering correctly, a vegetative state involves some disease or injury that has done permanent damage in a way that the person involved will never “wake up”.
It does feel good.
Source: I am a vegetable.
The equivalent for a person would be decapitated heads in the shower.
we had these 20 years ago in my country. but these got removed because they create bacteria and lower shelf life by a lot. nothing good about them at all. just extra cost and work.
Was wondering why we don’t have this in Europe, and the answer is once again, common fucking sense.
I’ve seen them last year in france at some places unfortunately.
They are still around here where I live but they are kinda needed since its dry here (under 20% mostly). Without them the produce desicates. But in moist places? Why?
It was in a coastal region.
That’s gotta be one hell of a moist machine salesman. It would be like trying to sell me a dehumidifier.
They hate it, one even tried to chase me but luckily I picked up the wooden ramp before I got out of the store.
Spritz me harder daddy
I don’t think you need to be a vegetable to enjoy a nice mist.
I buy all my fruits and veggies straight from the orchard, farm stands or the Amish. Often the products are dirty, have flaws, uneven shapes and varying states of ripeness. I can pay .90 for a cucumber at the store or, five for a dollar at the stand or, pick my own at the Amish farm for .10 a piece. I haven’t shopped in a store since the Covid price hikes. I now eat better, lost weight, cholesterol, sugar and BP all down. I also planted my own berries, plum and apple trees. Cannabis, too. I can wash my own damn fruit. Just say no to corporate greed.
We have a huge Farmers Market open Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. Its about 10 minutes from my home. Really good deals on fruits, vegetable & baked goods. The deals are even better if you show up about an hour before closing. In today’s economy you have to watch every penny spent.
And later in the summer you can find pick up trucks parked at the side of the road offering sweet corn for far less than you would ever be able to get at a grocery store
Seems like a complete flip to what we have here in the UK, Aldi is by far cheaper than any farmers market I have seen.
In the US a “farmers market” typically means that a city or town shuts down a few streets and farmers come from their rural farms to the city center to sell their produce. The prices can trend high, because the focus tends to be on quality and known provenence.
What the parent poster is describing is not farmers markets, but farm stands. You have to go to them instead of them coming to you, which is where the savings come from. It might not be worth it depending on the value of your time.
Most farmers markets I’ve seen have dedicated space, no street shutting necessary. There’s one open every day a couple miles from my house.
There’s a big difference between a farm stand and a farmers market.
Farm shops are also really expensive here
Like, a farm shop at the farm itself, or on the side of the road nearby? That’s what a farm stand is.
Where I’m at they’re usually a glorified lean-to. Ran by either a kid or an old, never anyone in-between. Or just the honor system. Usually has excellent produce for real cheap.
Yeah I live too far from farmland to take advantage. Our farmers market is expensive but the stuff they sell is fantastic. I get ferns there every year. Cheaper than Lowe’s and higher quality. I boycott Home Depot so it’s nice to have options.
Besides being a soulless mega corp who only exist to serve the unholy gods of greed and gluttony, what’s so bad about home Depot?
Don’t think I have ever really seen one of those. Maybe a sign like eggs 50p each but again that is pretty expensive and it was years ago
Same here, and those Aldi cucumbers are like 1,50€ or a little more.
