Just had an interaction that reminded me of this.

I was a daycare teacher for 3 years, and I’m a cishet dude. My daycare had a policy in their contract that men were not allowed in the infant room. This had gone unchallenged since the 90s, when it was written. I apparently was the first man to challenge it, and it was entirely by accident. All I did was offer to sub for an infant teacher, not knowing the contract, and this triggered a whole beurocraric thing that resulted in the contract being rewritten.

I know I’m far from the first man to work there. Did every other man who worked there think they were unqualified to change a diaper? To pat a baby to sleep? To feed a little one in a high chair?

And this isn’t even touching on how I got stuck with the 4s because my boss expected me to be scary because I’m a man. I don’t have an aggressive bone in my body. Thankfully they learned that fast.

I also had to deal with plenty of parents who seemed unable to comprehend a man who actually want to be a caregiver. Clearly Mr. Teacher must have ulterior motives! I must be a gay who is trying to corrupt the youth! I must want to abduct children! I have had so many parents try to accuse me of the worst things because they can’t imagine a man who actually likes children.

And so much of this was from the dads. Sir, you have a child! Are you telling you that you don’t want to be around your child? That you are so repulsed by your child that you can’t imagine other men thinking they are pretty neat?

I am not looking forward to seeing other people react to me parenting my own children. I hate how the patriarchy makes men beat down other men. Men should be allowed to want to be dads.