WATCH IT

WATCH THE FOOTBALL

IT WILL NEVER BE DECIDED WHO HAS WON THE FOOTBALL

John Moncur walked past my mate’s kid saying he didn’t have time to sign an autograph, he had to get on the team bus, which he did and then sat there for 15 minutes doing nothing. He then got off the bus and walked past my mate and his kid again and ignored them.

I don’t know if this was before or after he became a born-again Christian.

Another friend’s kid spotted Ian Wright and Rio Ferdinand at West Ham in the stand and his kid asked them both for an autograph. Rio was more than happy to oblige and Ian Wright just smirked and blanked him. Rio was really embarrassed and had to persuade Wright to give the kid his autograph.

Rio Ferdinand = Top bloke

Ian Wright = bellend

Ebbsfleet Utd v Dartford Town

Proper naughty

Please stop saying “y’alls” This isn’t the deep South of the USA

“Concentrating on the League” is a reasonable excuse if you’re 4 points above the relegation zone, having lost 9 out of the last 10. Anyone else, it’s bollocks.