Personal favorite is twat waffle
“Wow, you’re the worst part of both your parents”
Burn!
…you fight like a cow!
I refuse to play mind games with the unarmed.
They couldn’t pour water out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel
We have a similar one to this when someone is incompetent which is “They couldn’t organise a pissup in a brewery”.
Couldn’t organise a root in a brothel
My personal variation, “couldn’t organise a pissup in a pissupery”.
But I’m a genius in France!
“Wisdom pursues you, but you’ve managed to outrun it.”
or
“Wow, it must have taken all three of your brain cells to come up with that.”
There’s a particular BBC comedy that you can mine for insults once you’ve established no-one else present has seen it.
- He’s so dense light bends around him.
- As useless as a marzipan dildo
- As useless as lube at a funeral
- I’ve never seen anyone look so fucking ugly with just one head
- Do you know 90% of household dust is made of dead human skin? That’s what you are to me.
- Watching him work is like watching clown running across a minefield.
- He’s here, depriving a village somewhere of their twat.
- I’m like flypaper for dickheads today.
- Sorry I’m late. Traffic was an absolute bitch. No offence.
Please apologize to the tree that produced the oxygen you breathe.
I’ve always liked “waste of skin”
Always been a fan of cock goblin
Is this the comeback?
“dillweed”
Hanger-dodger
That one time when Peter asked Billy if he had a girlfriend
and he was like ‘Yeah, your mother!’
An insult from eastern Venezuela: “Campamento’e Pipe” (Dick’s Camp).
Ass jackal
What are you doing?!?
You want to go with slightly condescending, like you are giving the person the benefit of assuming they will recognize their behavior is ridiculous or dumb if you just point it out, and they just didn’t realize yet because they got wrapped up in their mind with the nonsense.
For example: What are you doing? While motioning vaguely at the Huskers.
