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you did get laid that night, right?
“I’m the vessel, fuck me. It’s as close as it gets.”
That I have a nice phone number.
I have an evil one. It ends 666 👿
0666 here
Now kiss.
My old work number used to have a 404 area code. I work in tech. It was a fun inside joke.
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Just last week, someone left a note for me saying I’m a “goddess among mortals” for making a carrot cake without raisins.
I’m an overweight 40-year-old man with a beard. She hadn’t seen who made the cake, so she was just making a guess that the baker was a woman, but still. Funny experience.
Who the fuck puts raisins in a carrot cake?
I have honestly never experienced an abomination. Not that there is anything wrong with raisins, but in carrot cake?The recipe I used actually suggested raisins in the cake and walnuts in the frosting. While I don’t mind either on their own or in other things, carrot cake is supposed to be creamy and smooth. If I wanted crunch or chew, I’d choose…I dunno, german chocolate or something.
Walnuts on the frosting is fine with me but a lot of the ones from the shops used to put them in the cake - not so good.
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This is standard in US-style carrot cakes
Raisins in cinnamon rolls is the true crime
I’m 38, male, chubby, can’t grow a beard for shit.
Raisins are wank. You’re “a goddess among mortals”.
Embrace the joy, Goddess.
Oh shit, you are a goddess among mortals! Carrot cake is one of my all time favorites so I keep trying it despite being disappointed every time that someone put raisins in it. It’s just mean.
She’s right. Cooked raisins are an abomination. You’re a hero.
raisins are an abomination
She is correct. You are absolutely divine for excluding raisins, you radiant goddess, you!
From my ENT: You’ve got a very well maintained nose.
Uhm, thanks?
“I can tell you’re not a habitual cocaine user”
I “chew sexy”…was eating pizza at a girlfriend’s house.
What a weird thing for her dad to say.
Compared to pretty much every other response, this is real bland, but I recently had a librarian at the community college I attend tell me something like how my name is a nice name.
It’s not a special name in any way, just a run-of-the-mill Biblical name tons of people have. For obvious reasons, I won’t tell what it is, but this is the first time I’ve ever gotten a compliment about my name.
Ok Ezekiel.
I wish I had a name like that. Instead I have one of the more common and much more generic names.
Ezekiel 23:20
“You like like a modern interpretation of some Greek god of spice” I had a spig of rosemary tucked behind my ear and a shirt that reads “why so salty”
An ultrasound tech once told me that I have a cute spleen.
One complimented my bladder, so I guess that spleen seems mighty good about now
Nothing looks cute on an ultrasound. Humans are hardwired to see babies as cute, and even they don’t look cute on an ultrasound.
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Nurses tend to like the veins in my left arm so I’ve had a few comments on that.
Got laid once because of my veiny arms so, not only nurses like them.
Oh I get this one. It’s usually along the lines of “the blood bank would love to have you” or even “I could find your veins blindfolded”
Yeah I got “wow, I could hit that by throwing a dart from across the room!” I am a favorite of phlebotomists, and I guess could be a successful junkie.
I was once told that I ‘look like I’m going to ask someone to the Sadie Hopkins dance’. I assume they just meant I looked nice/dressed up, but it just struck me as interesting phrasing. Random people just tend to talk to me; a couple weeks ago I was at the gas station and an older guy struck up a conversation and commented that it was nice to see someone smile ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Sounds like they may have been referring to the “Sadie Hawkins dance” which is a middle school highschool dance where the girls ask the guys to be their date. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sadie_Hawkins_dance
First girl I ever kissed complimented me on my nice looking hands at the teenybopper bar. Weird at the time, took me a couple of decades to realize women look at our hands, think of us touching them.
I have the perfect hands to be a surgeon.
And the feet of a hobbit?
I don’t know how weird it is but I’ve been told a few times that I have a “calming presence”. It’s a very nice compliment, just don’t understand why or how.
This is sometimes what happens when someone grows up around someone who is volatile or unpredictable.
Natural adaptation.
Could that be why?
Oh. Well that tracks, yeah.
Baseball, huh?
I’m in this picture and I don’t like it
Her “you look like Kevin federline”
Me “well fuck you too”
Her “what?! He’s hot!”
Me “I stand by my statement”
I honestly forgot he existed
This is disturbing
there was a comment thread where there was something along the lines of “when my roommate peed you could HEAR how his urethra was wider than a normal person” and I don’t know how to feel about it
