• experbia@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

    precisely. there was no need for her to stress out OP by telling him he had to hurry. she could have moved the meet to a less busy restaurant, or waited for a table to open like the rest of us, or possibly even politely asked instead of dictating rudely.

    • Cosmic Cleric@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      she could have moved the meet to a less busy restaurant

      You really would try to do something like that with less than 15 minutes until the other persons arrival?

      • stebo@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        9 months ago

        other person arrives

        Scenario 1: In those 15 minutes the likely thing happened that a table became available and the woman is waiting at it and didn’t need to interrupt and stress out anyone.

        Scenario 2: Unfortunately there’re still no seats available, so the woman proposes to her friend to either wait a bit longer or find another restaurant nearby.

        • Cosmic Cleric@lemmy.world
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          9 months ago

          Scenario 3: the person finishes up their meal quickly allowing the other person who is waiting for the table to have it.

          Asking someone for a favor isn’t stressing someone. If that actually does stress them then they have worse problems than being asked to finish their meal quickly.

          Be excellent with each other. The world will be a much better place if we all try to practice that.

          • stebo@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            9 months ago

            Let others enjoy their meal at peace. Asking someone to “hurry up” is not a favour and extremely rude.

            If she wanted to ask for a favour, it should go something like this: “Sorry to interrupt, are you nearly finished? Could we have your seat if you are done?” And then patiently wait however long it takes for them to finish.

            Be excellent with each other.

            How does this defend the person that was being rude lol

            • Cosmic Cleric@lemmy.world
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              9 months ago

              How does this defend the person that was being rude lol

              Asking for a favor is not being rude (assuming if it’s been asked nicely). Especially if you’re hogging a shared resource that’s in limited supply (seating).

              • experbia@lemmy.world
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                9 months ago

                assuming if it’s been asked nicely

                It was not. That’s the problem, and it’s the reason for OP’s reaction.

            • Cosmic Cleric@lemmy.world
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              9 months ago

              Let others enjoy their meal at peace. Asking someone to “hurry up” is not a favour and extremely rude.

              Seating is a limited public resource shared by all. It’s really not that unreasonable if the restaurant is being slammed and there’s no tables available.

              At the end of the day, if you know the restaurant is so busy and table seating is a huge problem why not get in and get out quickly, and share the resource with your fellow citizens, and make everyone’s day a little better.

              There’s so much anger and hate going on right now, we really could try to be a little understanding with each other and tamping that hate down.

              • Cypher@lemmy.world
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                9 months ago

                A restaurant is a private business and their seating is private, I don’t believe any restaurant would be happy with some random trying to hurry on their customers.

                If a customer is taking excessive time it would be up to the staff to request them to move on.

                • Cosmic Cleric@lemmy.world
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                  9 months ago

                  A restaurant is a private business and their seating is private, I don’t believe any restaurant would be happy with some random trying to hurry on their customers.

                  If a customer is taking excessive time it would be up to the staff to request them to move on.

                  Totally depends on the venue, and how much control the restaurant staff has on the seating, versus if people come in and manage their own seating.

                  What I took from the original tweet was it’s the latter, and not the former.

                  What you are describing is for the former.

              • meat_popsicle@sh.itjust.works
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                9 months ago

                Because people pay to eat their food and don’t want to get forced to move by people who think their lives are more important than others. If the meeting is so important, make a reservation.

                Your failure to plan is not my problem. I don’t owe you any favors.

                • Cosmic Cleric@lemmy.world
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                  9 months ago

                  I don’t owe you any favors.

                  I don’t know your life experiences I don’t know why you have such a hard ass perspective on things.

                  All I’m advocating for is that in society, when we all need access to shared resources, especially when they are in limited supply, that we use those resources as quickly as we can, and then we move on, so the next person can use them.

                  That can’t be such a difficult concept to understand, and it makes the world work so much better when there’s less friction in it.

                  Hell, the Japanese even have a name for it (society cooperation, and how you act).

              • experbia@lemmy.world
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                9 months ago

                At the end of the day, if you know the restaurant is so busy and table seating is a huge problem…

                … why not make plans with a backup restaurant in mind if you’re meeting up with friends, just in case it’s full already like it often is?

                What if every other table was already occupied by people meeting friends. They’re all entitled to be there. This lady only bullied OP and told him to hurry up because he was there alone. And what you’re saying is that if you’re alone, you’re not really entitled to use shared resources beyond the absolute minimum necessary?

                You’re calling for mutual understanding while supporting the position of someone who demonstrably has none as she goes around ordering people to leave public spaces becauss they think they’re more important. ‘Mutual understanding’ is revoked when it’s clear the other party only wants to abuse it.

            • Cosmic Cleric@lemmy.world
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              9 months ago

              Balderdash. Poppycock, even.

              If you do Humanuty right, it becomes an “Excelsior!” existence.

      • experbia@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        yes. it is not everyone else’s responsibility to reshape reality to accommodate me. if the restaurant I’m meeting a friend at is full when we both get there, and it looks like the wait will be too long for us, we go to a backup location. sometimes that happens. it’s life. at no point do we assume a position of superiority and arrogance and start accosting already-seated patrons issuing orders to vacate to make room for us. that would make me and my friends pieces of shit.

      • lightnsfw@reddthat.com
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        9 months ago

        Yes? I’ve done that tons of times when I get to a restaurant and it turns out to be crowded I’ll call whoever I’m meeting and work out an alternative.

        • Cosmic Cleric@lemmy.world
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          9 months ago

          Yes? I’ve done that tons of times when I get to a restaurant and it turns out to be crowded I’ll call whoever I’m meeting and work out an alternative.

          With less than 15 minutes ago, when they may already have been pulling into a parking garage?

          I’m not saying it’s impossible, but I’m just speaking towards how much time was left until the appointment time, hard to handle changes on the fly with so little time left. Not impossible, but hard.

          • lightnsfw@reddthat.com
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            9 months ago

            Any restaurant I’ve been to that has a parking garage also had half a dozen other place within walking distance. Changing venue isn’t really an issue unless they all are crowded in which case that’s on us for planning poorly. Even if there’s not another place within walking distance driving to another location is trivial. 15 minutes is more than enough time.

    • Cosmic Cleric@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      there was no need for her to stress out OP by telling him he had to hurry.

      Honestly I wouldn’t myself have done that to someone else, but depending on how the request was asked would depend if it was actually rude or not.

        • Cosmic Cleric@lemmy.world
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          9 months ago

          it’s a quote so that’s probably exactly how it was asked

          That’s an assumption, we don’t know that.

          Usually when someone’s telling a story they want to put themselves in the best of light, especially if they are criticizing someone else in the story.

        • bitwaba@lemmy.world
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          9 months ago

          Just because it’s in quotes doesn’t mean that’s how it happened.

          Here’s an example:

          “it’s a quote so that’s probably exactly how bitchy she was”.

      • maness300@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        Literally asking any stranger to finish their food sooner so you can take their seat is unacceptable.

        It just reeks of entitlement where you’re more important than them. They shouldn’t have to eat any differently because you want to have their seat.

        I can tell this was asked by a woman whose dad gave her everything she wanted.