This sounds like a house md deleted scene
That was my first thought as well.
Chase: He’s in atrial fibrillation. Get the crash cart.
House: No! Pull down his pants and hand me that glove and some lube!
Chase and the other Doctors: Um…what?
Can someone translate this into English for the ones who aren’t doctors or biologists?
This sounds like someone was having a heart attack and they started playing with his butthole. I’d appreciate if someone could tell me that’s not the case.
The heart was going “kethumpathumpadump,” the doctor put a finger up the guy’s butt, and then his heart reset to a normal “lub dub, lub dub.”
You’re pretty much correct. AF is a heart rhythm abnormality, and if it persists, like it seems to here, it renders the heart unable to pump blood. It appears he might have been undergoing a prostate exam when this happened, since that’s the usual reason for a digital rectal exam. You’d have to assume the doctor knew they had this condition to begin with.
Digital here means “using fingers” rather than “not analog”, right?
Would the reverse be to use the anal-log?
Most people can’t handle that without a digital warmup first
Yes indeed.
And “sinus rhythm” in this case would be… normal sinusoidal heart function, right?
Incredible. Thanks for the translation.
I thought hearts went ‘lub dub’ instead of ‘wee woo’ - I would’ve said it’s more tangent or some transformed Gaussian at best?
Why is heart rhythm abbreviated to AF and not HR or something?
HR is “Heart Rate” and AF is “Atrial Fibrillation”. “Heart Rate” is just how many times the heart beats in a minute. “Atrial Fibrillation” is an abnormal rhythm of the heart beat and the rate at which the heart beats in AFib can be normal or fast.
Oh man, I thought “AF” meant “as fuck” like it usually does on the internet.
Nope. If I recall correctly all other interventions failed, so this was a hail Mary that happened to workSee other commenter below
You recall incorrectly. It was a check for GI bleed prior to anticoagulant administration prior to cardioversion. They were literally running through pre-procedure tests in order to do the standard treatment for AF.
Source: The paper itself
Interesting. That area of the body is pretty sensitive, I can see how it might generate enough sensation to affect other areas of the body.
Specifically it’s very possible to stimulate the vagus nerve, which helps regulate heart rhythm, with an exam like this. This is a known effect, but typically in the context of a possible adverse effect of some procedures (e.g. enema).
I’ve been told in the past that if you feel yourself going into a fib, you should push like your trying to shit to bring you out of it.
I was in a fib for about 30 hours. They were gonna defib shock me in the next hour via my oesophagus to correct it. I needed to take a shit, and did so while my portable ECG started alarming
A minute later I was in a rapid but normal sinus rhythm
Works
Also don’t recommend a heart rate of 260, exhausting
Not familiar with the paper this is from, but Atrial Fibrilation isn’t a heart attack (it can cause one, or a stroke). The human heart has 4 chambers, the left and right atria are on top and the left and right ventricles are on the bottom. In super layman’s terms, blood enters the heart from the lungs into the left atria and from the body into the right atria, passes through valves into the ventricles, and then is passed into the body (from the left ventricle) or the lungs (right ventricle). Normally the atria squeeze, there’s a slight pause to allow blood to enter the ventricles, then the ventricles squeeze. In A-fib, the atria just quiver, they don’t squeeze. It can be fairly benign and people can walk around for months without knowing they’re in A-fib because the blood will just drop into the ventricles and the ventricles do the work of pumping blood out into the lungs and the body. But the problem is that in A-fib some blood tends to hang out in the atria and it doesn’t completely empty, so eventually it can clot and now you have a huge clot hanging out inside your heart. If that clot decides to move it can go out into your body and end up in one of the coronary arteries (the arteries on the outside of your heart that supply your heart muscle itself with blood) and cause a heart attack, it can go to your brain and cause a stroke, or it can go into the lungs and cause a pulmonary embolism (PE). So usually people with A-fib are put on blood thinners to keep the clotting from occurring, or if the A-fib is too high of a rate (rapid A-fib) they’re sometimes given medication or cardioverted (shocked) out of it.
Like another commenter stated, in guessing they stimulated the vagus nerve which converted his heart rhythm into sinus rhythm, which is the normal heart rhythm.
Your left or my left?
Also does this mean everyone should be diddling their buttholes from time to time - either that or stick a fork in an outlet on occasion?
Your left it’s your heart, my left if it’s mine.
Stimulating the vagus nerve can drop your heart rate quite a bit, sometimes enough to cause them to pass out. If someone’s heart is weak or diseased and their vagus nerve is stimulated enough that their heart rate drops too low too fast, their heart might not be able to recover and they can just die. It’s why a lot of old people die on the toilet, the act of pooping stimulates the nerve and boom they’re gone (see Elvis).
Sticking a fork in an outlet is a great way to give yourself Ventricular Fibrilation which is just like Atrial Fibrilation except that the Ventricles, not the Atria, are quivering. And when the Ventricles are quivering they aren’t pumping so no blood is moving out into your body and you have no pulse and you are dead.
Fun fact, AEDs and defibrillators don’t shock asystole (flatline). They shock 2 rhythms, in hope of stopping the heart so that it might restart in a better rhythm (have you tried turning it off and back on again?) V-fib is one of the 2 rhythms. Ventricular tachycardia (V-tach) is the other. In V-tach your ventricles are beating very very fast. You can still be alive and still have a pulse in V-tach (or not), which is why they say never to apply an AED to someone who is still alive, because it could recognize the V-tach, shock them and kill them.
I have learned much today. Some of which maybe i shouldn’t have.
With my newfound half-assed knowledge from a stranger, I shall apply it to the furthest extent of my will.
The patients left. Im not touching the other questions.
Can confirm taking a shit fixed rapid af
thanks, i didn’t want to sleep anymore anyway
Pacemaker but it’s an electrified thong
What a weird timeline… The US is going to outlaw vaccines at the same time that insurance companies will start refusing to pay for surgically implanted pacemakers and force everyone with a heart condition to wear electrified butt plugs.
Automatic defibrillators everywhere will be reduced in size to a package smaller than a beer can, and CPR classes will teach you the proper way to spit on the AED before shoving it into someone’s butt.I’m sure you could easily have a separate E-stim Plug in the AED kit, like how some have different pads for children and adults. Also pretty sure I could rig that right now with a few wire nuts and some tape.
I hate that I immediately thought of a practical way to accomplish that before I thought “WTF!?”
Welcome to the engineering club. When I gave a size for the plug version of the AED, I took into account the current state of battery technology and also how many amps you might possibly be able to pass through the skin of the anus without doing severe damage.
So it’s normal to have all these random projects in my head all the time?
So far I’ve stopped myself from putting a “discard vapes here” bin outside of a couple businesses so I can leech them for batteries… I keep thinking of things I could do, but I know I’m just going to collect a bunch of trash and have another project in the pipeline.
Normal? Not at all. But there are others out there, and we have so many unfinished projects that we are working on too.
I like the vape idea, that is fucking brilliant. And it’s probably for the best that you restrain yourself, because if you don’t, then it will get really expensive… Once you can power all your small projects and have a “limitless” supply of batteries, you’ll realize all of the things you can do with a shit ton of batteries, like you can buy an entire kit to electrify a bike, motor and all, for like $150 on Amazon. But then you’ll need a charger that can grade your batteries so that you can build packs, and you’ll need a spot welder, and nickel strips, and kapton tape, and some thick wire, and decent microphone and a cell phone camera stand and… What? The mic and camera stand? Well you might as well document the project and put it on YouTube. If you’re lucky it could take off, but if not you can at least write it all off on your taxes as business expenses. What stuff would be worth writing off? Well the computer and the 3d printer of course. You’re going to need those to design and print the battery case, and also edit the videos for YouTube…And if all of that seemed logical to you, then you might want to get tested for ADHD, or Autism, because you might be on one or both of the spectrums, like so many of us here on Lemmy.
Why would you turn down the opportunity for free batteries? You’ll be helping reduce waste too…
People will probably throw all kinds of random trash you don’t want in there though…
“My magical electric
sexheart pants!”Stim-plug.
*buttplug
Next study will determine if regular anal sex is good for cardiovascular health.
Only if it’s with a doctor.
And no, you can’t stuff apples up your butt, that kills the doctor.
Plz to post call for volunteer study subjects
🤚
He told the paramedics that’s where he keeps his insurance card.
There’s a “cute AF” joke in here somewhere, but I can’t quite put it together.
Me either, but not having a medical background, I thought that’s what it said at first
I think I may be suffering from atrial fibrillation. Could someone give me a hand? 🤒👉👈
Best I can do is the tip.
Also in Japan and Korea it’s apparently a ‘harmless prank’ to suddenly stick a finger up someone’s bunghole if they’ve bent over or are otherwise unsuspecting.
Can’t wait to see how United Healthcare bills that one
This is actually free rn
While it’d be nice to have an alternative to the crushing hopelessness of an AED, I would hate to do this in an ambulance for several reasons.
“See. This is why I prefer rubber gloves instead of nitrile. That way I can keep doing the exam while they defibrillate, and my fingers don’t go numb!”
#RiskyClicks
Dr. Slenderman, urologist/cardiac electrophysiologist, for all your manual internal cardioversions.
So gay sex is a real solution to a heart attack?
Confirmed that this is a real paper on PubMed.
I may be prejudiced, but whenever I see a journal that exclusively publishes case reports, I immediately think “paper mill”.
