Welp, guess he’s not dead after all.
How long can they move him around before the wire implants degrade?
He’s a Chucky Cheese animatronic.
So, no conspiracy theory about his recovery involving eating children brain parts or some shit?
They took only three months to finalize the clone? I’m impressed!
Death, are you sure you don’t need glasses?
Fuck it mate, we’ll pay for your lasik if you want.
I’m here for all the paid leave jokes
He heard a vote about paid sick leave was presented, and so had to come in and vote against.
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Somehow, Mitch McConnell returned
Dang, I only spotted your comment after posting the same joke. Here, have an upvote instead.
Tbh I was really surprised I didn’t see this particular joke when I posted it
Is it a joke? No one truly expected Mitch McConnell to return
Sure, but this specific combination of words was selected to mirror the same phrase spoken by Poe in Rise of Skywalker.
The joke is that, like J. J. Abrams, the authors of our timeline are out of ideas and just reuse existing villains instead of creating new interesting ones.
Lich McConnell living up to his name.
Reporters and photographers were told by Senate staff not to take video of his remarks in the second-floor hallway, even though video is often permitted in that area. Still images were allowed.
From the AP article
Something is fucked for sure with this and they are all covering it up
Video would make his unresponsive condition apparent.
He’s being kept alive.
Is he being “weekend at berinied”?
Worth it
My man got the Pelosi treatment.
Wtf??? That worthless fucking ghoul is still alive???
This is an absolute ass timeline…
You cannot kill that which has no life.
A couple of IV’s of the blood of children and he’s good to go
This is one of the best lines Trey Parker ever wrote.
they finally was able to ressurect him with his phylactery.
Nothing good ever happens
Still no believable video
Only video I saw was him in a car and it was very clear he didn’t even know where he was. Guy is legitimately not there and it’s insane they’re dragging him around for this.
He’s a pos but it’s still elder abuse in the end.
I saw a candid video of him in the wheelchair on the senate floor, talking to people
He looks more decrepit than usual, but I had no reason to think the video wasn’t real
did it have audio that you could perceive his voice?
No, you just see him talking to some people inside the senate. Its sketch that the reports of what he said are only second hand accounts. Still reported by Associated Press, so hard to get more credible… overall suss still.
It’s inexplicable why they are currently and formerly so secretive about his condition. Makes no sense for any good faith reasoning.
i just saw the one video of him in a car and hes clearly a museum exhibit
Yeah, if he was actually able to say any of those lines, it’s probably heavily rehearsed. There’s 2-3 direct snippets associated to him and that’s it. Took no questions.
“My recovery has been a long and often frustrating process, and the lingering effects of childhood polio haven’t made it any easier,” McConnell said
He’s old enough to have had polio.
He’s like 10 years older than Ruby Bridges, I think. That would have made him old enough to scream at her while she was going into her school building or throw rocks at black people going into soda fountains.
Rumor has it he arrived on Earth on the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs
Well. He’s certainly not young enough to have had polio.
hes older than that, hes the silent generation.
But they want to ban vaccines.
