Just say they, it’s worked for centuries.
Or thou. What hath thou whispered upon the spicy wind?
thou talkin shit, eh?
How art thou enjoying thy paint chips?
Yeah, that’s if you want to be formal tho.
Funny enough, for centuries “thou” was the more intimate and less formal way to say “you.” It took on an air of formality when it fell out of common use and remained only in older works associated with institutional authority. 🌈
So, we need to start bringing it back as a main part of our vocabulary? Thou has made my day fun.
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For real, it simplifies everything. There are so many situations where gender is unknown or irrelevant, and they is a well-established convention.
I clicked on your name and see nothing. I’m guessing this is because you’re not on mbin?
Omg you’re right. It’s actually because I don’t know how to do it in voyager so now I did it in my browser. <3
Omg you’re right. It’s actually because I don’t know how to do it in voyager so now I did it in my browser. <3
“i absolutely fucking hate that (checks notes) guy”
someone called me “you bitch” the other day (in jest, I was teasing them) and I just… it felt nice. gender affirming profanities. who knew?
I usually go for the classic “You mf”
Mm not misgendering, my favourite :3
People don’t even check the name of the person they are replying to. From the signature or from the account itself. And just write whatever they come up with. So I don’t really expect anything from them :(
True, and it seems most assume they’re interacting with their own gender, which isn’t always the case.
Technical limitations may contribute to the problem. Many instances and clients won’t show things like avatars, bios, and instance-specific fields like pronouns due to privacy policies or resource limitations. For example, on voyager (popular client) all I can see about any user is the name, modlog, and post history.
To see a full profile, I can open a browser tab and navigate to their instance, but sometimes even then I’m prompted for my instance login, which usually entails a delay for manual review.
If all else fails, I try to skim the post history for mention of their pronouns or avoid gender-coded wording entirely. Unless we’re discussing gender specifically, the latter is rarely difficult.
I assume everyone online is a guy, and it’s not because I’m a guy! Everyone also assumes I’m a guy, even with this username almost everywhere. Hmmm.
Good point, I’ve also seen that in many online spaces, especially ones like Re**** and lemmy. While I assume it’s mostly laziness (“usually guy” harder than “always guy”) there’s also the fact that gender neutrality to most is male-coded because [tedious rant about patriarchal society].
Edit: grammar
It’s been the way since I started online, oh so long ago before Eternal September…but yes. I think because guys tend to be more outspoken about being a guy? I normally don’t respond if someone calls me a guy or whatever, because it’s generally safer to just go along with it. Why, as a women, would I want to draw attention to that when it just means harassment and such generally? And I’m not like subtle and have a username that you could go “probably a guy” cause Rebekah is only ever a female coded name, I think? Ah I’m rambling. Such a splitting headache this morning. Hope you’re doing well.
outspoken about being guys
Hmm, I hadn’t considered that, but it tracks. The popular aspects of contemporary male gender identity are hard for me to understand. Often it strikes me as trauma-related pathology, as if boys were socialized poorly on purpose to serve an imagined need in society like war.
I’ve definitely seen many examples of what you’re talking about, though, like this apparent need to be perceived as not just male but the most male, but I don’t have a good theory for where it comes from.
normally just go along with it
Yeah I do the same, and tend to go with whatever gender others assume, but then gender-bending is kind of my jam. It’s more important to others to have a stable, recognizable gender identity, and I’m pretty sure I get it.
rebekah is usually a female name
Re: people online totally ignoring your username, honestly that sounds like par. People’s attention is spread more thinly these days, and anyway the average person is just very average. Especially in online spaces trending male, its easier to just assume, so people do. For me, incoming gender assumptions are the mystery prize in each box of cracker jacks, but I’m privileged to be tall and rarely worry about physical safety.
headache
Well it’s almost the weekend so party on. I’ll meet you there.
It’s easier to assume everyone online is a guy and still use gender neutral pronouns though. I think it’s also a language problem that people weren’t really used to using gender neutral pronouns in general so they resist it. I wonder if the problem is more pronounced in languages where everything has to be gendered.
Oh, I try and call people online beings! Hello being, how are you! It either annoys the being or amuses the heck outta them. Gendered languages seem like they’d be a lot more difficult to disentangle such things from. I think I’m glad English isn’t then, even though English sucks in just so many ways?
yisyisyisssyis! dis is de way!!! vrrir dis much!!! 11>v<
I’m not 100% sure I get this. Is the point the added effort/latency/overhead, too many neopronouns, or that someone might change their gender on a daily/hourly basis?
I think the context is talking to a stranger for the first time, hence needing to check pronouns.
Thanks, that helps. That’s not the context/situation that I was imagining.
The point is that it is very easy to check someone’s pronouns and avoid misgendering them, presented in a humorous format
