Good point, I’ve also seen that in many online spaces, especially ones like Re**** and lemmy. While I assume it’s mostly laziness (“usually guy” harder than “always guy”) there’s also the fact that gender neutrality to most is male-coded because [tedious rant about patriarchal society].
It’s been the way since I started online, oh so long ago before Eternal September…but yes. I think because guys tend to be more outspoken about being a guy? I normally don’t respond if someone calls me a guy or whatever, because it’s generally safer to just go along with it. Why, as a women, would I want to draw attention to that when it just means harassment and such generally? And I’m not like subtle and have a username that you could go “probably a guy” cause Rebekah is only ever a female coded name, I think? Ah I’m rambling. Such a splitting headache this morning. Hope you’re doing well.
Hmm, I hadn’t considered that, but it tracks. The popular aspects of contemporary male gender identity are hard for me to understand. Often it strikes me as trauma-related pathology, as if boys were socialized poorly on purpose to serve an imagined need in society like war.
I’ve definitely seen many examples of what you’re talking about, though, like this apparent need to be perceived as not just male but the most male, but I don’t have a good theory for where it comes from.
normally just go along with it
Yeah I do the same, and tend to go with whatever gender others assume, but then gender-bending is kind of my jam. It’s more important to others to have a stable, recognizable gender identity, and I’m pretty sure I get it.
rebekah is usually a female name
Re: people online totally ignoring your username, honestly that sounds like par. People’s attention is spread more thinly these days, and anyway the average person is just very average. Especially in online spaces trending male, its easier to just assume, so people do. For me, incoming gender assumptions are the mystery prize in each box of cracker jacks, but I’m privileged to be tall and rarely worry about physical safety.
headache
Well it’s almost the weekend so party on. I’ll meet you there.
It’s easier to assume everyone online is a guy and still use gender neutral pronouns though. I think it’s also a language problem that people weren’t really used to using gender neutral pronouns in general so they resist it. I wonder if the problem is more pronounced in languages where everything has to be gendered.
Oh, I try and call people online beings! Hello being, how are you! It either annoys the being or amuses the heck outta them. Gendered languages seem like they’d be a lot more difficult to disentangle such things from. I think I’m glad English isn’t then, even though English sucks in just so many ways?
I assume everyone online is a guy, and it’s not because I’m a guy! Everyone also assumes I’m a guy, even with this username almost everywhere. Hmmm.
Good point, I’ve also seen that in many online spaces, especially ones like Re**** and lemmy. While I assume it’s mostly laziness (“usually guy” harder than “always guy”) there’s also the fact that gender neutrality to most is male-coded because [tedious rant about patriarchal society].
Edit: grammar
It’s been the way since I started online, oh so long ago before Eternal September…but yes. I think because guys tend to be more outspoken about being a guy? I normally don’t respond if someone calls me a guy or whatever, because it’s generally safer to just go along with it. Why, as a women, would I want to draw attention to that when it just means harassment and such generally? And I’m not like subtle and have a username that you could go “probably a guy” cause Rebekah is only ever a female coded name, I think? Ah I’m rambling. Such a splitting headache this morning. Hope you’re doing well.
Hmm, I hadn’t considered that, but it tracks. The popular aspects of contemporary male gender identity are hard for me to understand. Often it strikes me as trauma-related pathology, as if boys were socialized poorly on purpose to serve an imagined need in society like war.
I’ve definitely seen many examples of what you’re talking about, though, like this apparent need to be perceived as not just male but the most male, but I don’t have a good theory for where it comes from.
Yeah I do the same, and tend to go with whatever gender others assume, but then gender-bending is kind of my jam. It’s more important to others to have a stable, recognizable gender identity, and I’m pretty sure I get it.
Re: people online totally ignoring your username, honestly that sounds like par. People’s attention is spread more thinly these days, and anyway the average person is just very average. Especially in online spaces trending male, its easier to just assume, so people do. For me, incoming gender assumptions are the mystery prize in each box of cracker jacks, but I’m privileged to be tall and rarely worry about physical safety.
Well it’s almost the weekend so party on. I’ll meet you there.
It’s easier to assume everyone online is a guy and still use gender neutral pronouns though. I think it’s also a language problem that people weren’t really used to using gender neutral pronouns in general so they resist it. I wonder if the problem is more pronounced in languages where everything has to be gendered.
Oh, I try and call people online beings! Hello being, how are you! It either annoys the being or amuses the heck outta them. Gendered languages seem like they’d be a lot more difficult to disentangle such things from. I think I’m glad English isn’t then, even though English sucks in just so many ways?