Definitely NOT. Dennis Bergkamp, I would want to fly through it and he wouldn’t.

Definitely NOT. William Gallass, he’s going to be sat on his ass at half time.

Definitely NOT. Kim Kallstrom, although to be fair I did hire him with a bad back.

Definitely NOT. Kaba Diawara, the work has to be finished.

Definitely NOT Jermain Pennant, he’s going to steal your car and claim to be Ashley Cole when he gets caught.

Definitely NOT Ashley Cole, he’s going to meet up with other movers and agree to work there. £55. they’re taking the p*ss.

ITS GOT TO BE Emanuel Eboue helping me move, if it all goes wrong I can blame it on…

Who knows maybe Sol Campbell will show up to the huge surprise of everyone.

I would ask Santi Cazorla but I hear it’s his Achilles heel…

I dunno I just want the move to go, wright, wright, wright.