Anecdotally, most current or former homeschooled kids I meet seem pretty socially awkward. I wonder if It’s because the miss-out on the opportunity to learn how to socialize properly as children. But maybe I’m being too critical, idk.
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Homeschooling is rarely successful and deprives children of the chance to socialize and practice it. As well a lot of the people who do it use it as a method of indoctrination for religious reasons.
If there is one thing going to highschool in Texas taught me it’s that Germany was communist during WW2.
Well, also that it may be good if you have time to NOT neglect the child and can get mentors/tutors to help them.
But even then they have to go to school at some point to learn socializing, no?
It’s hubris and/or abuse, and should be illegal barring exceptional circumstances.
Public schools should be well funded.
Private schools should also be illegal.
“Think you can provide more resources and well thought out and efficiently applied curriculum than a centuries old and constantly corrected product of society that draws on every corner of society and hundreds of lifelong full-time employees whose entire lives revolve around hopefully improving society and giving the confident, respectful, and considerate qualities to children? That system isn’t perfect and is compromise and resource-short hell… Why not give it a REAL half-assing and short-change your kids EVEN WORSE!”
I lived in an area with bad schools for about 4 years. I spent time in public school and a number of church schools. Religion fucked me up pretty good, but at least my parents weren’t crazy religious nuts, so I at least got to come home to some normalcy. I didn’t meet a lot of home school kids until way later. I have met several that are brilliantly well adjusted human beings, who were non-religious homeschoolers who were doing it for other reasons. I’ve met other people who think water boils because god wills it and sickness is caused by demons latching onto your unconfessed sins.
I’m generally against it in most circumstances, but I do think it depends largely on the intention of the parents. If we had better public schools, I think the amount of homeschoolers would naturally drop quite a bit.
I went to school where I live and it was abysmal. My oldest 2 I homeschooled for a few years, eventually found a good school they could go to. Those 2 had a much better attitude towards school than the later ones who had to go from pre-K, (they felt more in control of their own education) and similar academic achievement in the end.
I sure as heck could not have homeschooled them through high school. And they did plenty of things with other kids, and more with mixed age groups than school kids do.
It’s possible the kids you met who were awkward were homeschooled because they were so socially awkward and not the other way around. Mine can socialize circles around me, and I’d say the 2 who started later are more socially adept.
ETA 2 things. Homeschooling is well supported by the school district, kids get tested every year. And no we are not religious.
Unless you’re an expert on child development and education, then you’re not qualified.
I briefly dated a girl who was homeschooled. She was a very nice girl, but holy fuck was she awkward in social settings. So many references that people our age should get would go right over her head. She was also from a well off family so when she didn’t get these things, she kind of made it out to be like a class issue. “Oh that’s from a rap song is it? We were never big on rap in our household.” Well, we’re you living under a rock? You don’t know to the window, to the wall?
I will give her parents credit. She was very well read and learned to play a lot of instruments. She was very knowledgeable of the arts, but anything pop culture related was clearly a no go in her childhood/ young adulthood, and it made her quite dull.
Her brother was also fucking creepy man. I got real serial killer vibes from him. They were socially very similar, and I’m pretty sure the brother was closeted and gay. I had just assumed that he was out by the way he spoke, and acted, then one day she said something about how he needs a girlfriend. I said something along the lines of “are you sure he’s looking for one?” And she got super offended and said she doesn’t know why everyone thinks her brother is gay, and that men always hit on him which he supposedly hated. That could also just have been a lack of socialization and picking up on societal norms? Maybe he actually was straight, idk but he acted and looked very much the part. All in all the vibe was super off with them.
I think kids need to socialize to develop correctly. That girl, her brother and the handful of other homeschooled people I’ve met in life very much have reinforced that belief. I especially am worried about this current crop of anti vax types with little to no critical thinking skills home schooling their children. The HBO documentary - “This Place Rules” covered this briefly, and I worry for those children. I have a friend who has similar fringe beliefs and has talked about homeschooling his kids. I hope for that kids’ sake they actually send him to school because if not, he’ll be sounding like the kids in the video below.
I have neighbours homeschooling their kids, that ate similarly aged to mine. Sometimes we see them at the school playground on the weekend. The kids seem fine, the parents seem normal. They mentioned they take the kids to a weekly home school kids play date, and there is some sort of education resource worker that makes sure the kids are learning what they need to.
My toddler is thriving in pre-school. We can’t teach her how to be independent and socialise with other kids at home.
I can see a life situation where we would homeschool for a limited time. I’d expect both teaching parent and kid to do standardised testing to make sure the education is up to the national curriculum.
Home schooling should be be an excuse to not school, which it seems to be in some parts of the world.
Every homeschooled person I’ve met has lacked all tact but YMMV. I haven’t met anyone that was homschooled after leaving university so no clue if that improves over time.
I think it’s a big mistake, but don’t think ‘the law’ should get involved, either.
Include meals, that’s a good incentive and will help a lot of kids that are fed total garbage at home.
if we can’t feed children what are we even doing?
Big part of school is training on how to be socialized into society. Interact with people who are different than you. Homeschooling provides none of that.
The majority that defend homeschooling do so on pure ideological grounds. They accuse schools of indoctrinating kids, but they want to personally ensure their kids are indoctrinated the way they (the parents) deem correct. “Sex is evil! Women should submit to men! <Ethnicity> is pure evil! Never question me!” - these parents should NEVER homeschool their kids.
There are very few situations where homeschooling would be better for the kid over traditional schooling, and those situations are usually remedied with the school getting its shit together and being at least decent.
The school can’t always get better though and can even be harmful to kids, due to bad teachers, bad staff, bad classmates or general precarious conditions, especially if the kid has any sort of special need (autism, down’s syndrome, etc). Changing schools isn’t always an option, whether due to distance or cost of moving back and forth every day, and that’s usually when homeschooling should be done.
I was homeschooled for pretty much the exact opposite ideological reasons, and am so grateful to have had the chance to explore and develop without institutional constraints. Some great years traveling in a bus and seeing how a wide variety of people lived. To me homeschooling is an ideal of time commitment to a child that most people are unable to achieve, and offloading that opportunity to a centralized authority while you pursue a paycheck is a tragic compromise
School is more than just what you learn. It’s crucial for development to socialize with children your age, and close to your age. There’s a reason the stereotype that homeschoolers are socially awkward exists
There’s plenty of opportunity to socialize as a homeschooler. The stereotype exists because many (most?) homeschooled kids are so because the isolation and rejection of social norms is the point. But there’s also a demographic of them that exist because they live in bad school districts and don’t have the money for private school.
Neighborhood kids form bonds with other neighborhood kids regardless of the school they go to. Homeschool kids are more often than not allowed to join their local school sports teams as well. I think you’d be surprised how many people you’ve met who were homeschooled that you’d never guess.
…when someone seems normal you aren’t looking to explain their differences. The chance to socialize in the real world as opposed to a classroom environment is one of the things I value most about that period. We clearly have very different perspectives, in my community yours might be socially awkward. And that’s ok, it is in no way “crucial” for you to think feel or act the way I do :)
I was “homeschooled”, along with my many siblings, by Southern Baptist parents. I couldn’t really read until I was 9, and my younger siblings until even later. My older siblings had it marginally better, but not by much.
I was horrendously under-socialiazed, and I still struggle with debilitating social anxiety to this day. Although I should emphasize that a couple of my siblings are very socially competent and relatively well-adjusted, so I’m not sure how much of my issues in that domain are nature vs. nurture.
It always made me feel awful and dumb to hear peers at church talking about school-related things and what subjects they were learning, because I had no idea what they were talking about, which exacerbated my social difficulties. In my teenage years I started to understand what was happening, and I practically had to beg my mother for any kind of instructional material. I taught myself algebra with the help of internet friends. I still distinctly recall how utterly unscientific and creationist-bent was a biology textbook I got; it was so bad that even I was questioning it at the time.
My younger siblings were eventually allowed to participate in a homeschooling “coop” after my younger brother begged for something. Homeschool coops involve homeschool families getting together to have some semi-structured classes, usually something like once a week. Said brother took a “psychology” class there, the textbook for which was written by a guy with a business or economics degree and no background in psychology, and it said mental illness was the result of sin.
Home schooling in my state is ridiculously under-regulated. All you have to do is be registered with a private school as homeschooling and submit transcripts that comply with the state education requirements. That’s literally it. My mother fabricated them - the records say I took Spanish in high school, but I couldn’t have told you much beyond “hola”.
I went to college with what was essentially a fake high school diploma. I languished in my 20’s. I got a master’s degree in my 30’s, but I was lucky and happened to be gifted when it came to academia; most homeschool kids aren’t so fortunate. Most of my siblings have not managed to actualize their potential. I myself could have been doing much more much earlier if I hadn’t gotten a woman pregnant during college because I’d never had anyone tell me to use a condom. In retrospect, my parents’ duress at learning that I was having a child out of wedlock is almost comical for having been essentially self-induced.
I don’t know if homeschooling should be banned outright (as I’m aware of select cases where some parents weren’t neglectful and it was actually a better option for some kids due to various circumstances), but something needs to change. At a minimum, I think homeschoolers should be required to do the same state standardized testing as required in public schools in order to ensure they’re not being outright neglected like I and my siblings were.
My child is attending public school, which has had it’s own set of issues (bullying and a shocking amount of violence, for starters), but it’s a marvel to me the gap between what she knows and what I knew at her age. She’s learning things that I still haven’t. She’s better off for it.
Tl;Dr: don’t homeschool, do improve public school.
