• DoctorWhookah@sh.itjust.works
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        4 months ago

        Write a letter to the CEO of the lien holding company. Using Scotch brand cellophane tape, affix a US quarter to the letter. Write your name in red ink at a 45 degree angle on the bottom third of the page. Include a Polaroid of your vehicle (I cannot emphasize this enough, it MUST be a Polaroid photo). That is all you need to do. If the CEO does not return your US quarter via registered mail, they only have 3 days to return your vehicle to you.

        • lemmydripzdotz456@lemmy.world
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          4 months ago

          Important! Your name must be in all capital letters! This is the corporation to which they have assigned the debt and not you, the actual person.

          • WraithGear@lemmy.world
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            4 months ago

            Also above your name, don’t forget to write “without prejudice” Got to have an out incase they try to attribute your signature to your person and not the corporation representing you.

      • CatZoomies@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        Wild SovCit entered the chat!

        Hey, you’re being a disrespectful little shit, @FlyingSquid@lemmy.world! My name is John von Natural, and I am the Natural Person, not the ARTIFICIAL PERSON that I never contracted with! My debt slavery is freed when my car company will recognize me as the Natural, and I am exercising my God-Given rights to this free car as the Natural, as I am not the ARTIFICIAL. I am totally using it for natural traveling purposes, not COMMERCE, podiatry, or debt-slavery!! All rights reserved, and without prejudice. I left pReJuDiCe with the beneficiary of the ARTIFICIAL pediatrician.

        I am officially penning my signature in red ink at a 45 angle. You can tell my post is legit because of the fancy umlaut and eloquently accented A !

        Kind regards without prejudice, observing all rights,

        John von Natural

          • CatZoomies@lemmy.world
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            4 months ago

            Well I mean John von Natural did say all rights reserved without prejudice…

            But then again all those incantations they say don’t mean anything, so go for it!

            I’ll invoke Beyoncé incantations: “If you like it then you should’ve put a lien on it.”

        • Honytawk@lemmy.zip
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          4 months ago

          Who on this Earth would write at 45° in that way when measuring the angle like that?

          • CatZoomies@lemmy.world
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            4 months ago

            Finally! I was waiting for someone to call this out! I left it in there intentionally as a joke when I crudely put the image together. John von Natural just isn’t that smart with angles for his weird angle, and he also carelessly used ARTIFICIAL red digital ink rather than real red ink freshly squeezed from a natural squid, the special red Sovereign Squid that’s quite rare.

  • dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    I don’t know why, but this one really makes it clear to me. There are people out there with such a tenuous grasp on how things work, that they’ll seek out magic (“legal”) spells to make their problems go away.