(Las Vegas, NV) As demolition begins on the East Wing of the White House, a partnership has been struck between the president and Wynn Casinos in Las Vegas. Construction plans are being modified to include 36 luxury rooms on five floors above the planned ballroom, with a penthouse presidential suite and appropriate guest amenities on the lower floor. A glass elevator with a private bar, manned by a Charlie Kirk impersonator, was proposed but may not be implemented fully due to negotiations with the Kirk family.

The president expressed excitement at the deal. “This is the best deal, possibly in the history of deals, and I know deals, people… I am the deal maker. Nearly 40 rooms of opulent decadence, and I know decadence too, believe me… people are lining up for these rooms, it’s incredible.”

Prebookings are already extending out for the next decade. Rooms are named after previous presidents, with extreme interest in bookings for political figures popular with republicans, such as the Kennedy, New Lincoln, and Jefferson Davis bedrooms.

Political ethics scholars note that, in this post-ethics political period, moves such as this were to be expected. One scholar, who asked not to be named out of fear of reprisal, said: “let’s just be happy he didn’t build a new russian embassy there.”