Update #6.

This is for nobody who’s going to read this but maybe you’re here from a Google search.

It was a defective starter. New one works perfectly.

Got my time down to 19:32.

Option B:

A farewell letter from the elf. Based on his reports to the big guy, it has been determined that the children are at low risk of being on the naughty list, and further observation is not warranted. He has been reassigned to another post and has enjoyed his time with them.

Then burn it, bury the ashes, and piss on the spot.