This. Most people listening to the bullshit already wanted to believe in the bullshit.

It puts the “cool” in gherkin!

Eggy farts. Eggy farts aaall day long! Especially during the company meeting!

I tell myself that it’s not less hair, it’s more forehead! It doesn’t really help!

As the other commenters have already said, I, too, recommend seeing a therapist about this. But I want to offer an alternative perspective, from personal experience.

A lot of what you’ve said is very similar to something I went through and partially am still currently going through. I used to feel a deep sense of not belonging, of being a misfit, which saturated me so much so that at one point I fell into a deep, self-loathing depression.

Just like you’ve stated, it wasn’t necessarily a static thing, like depression frequently seems to be, it felt active, like a response to a real ‘something,’ but my comorbid childhood trauma made me believe I was the problem.

I started going to therapy when enough became enough, and therapy helped me understand that, yes, I am a misfit, but a misfit in the context of this society and its state. My values do not match what society deems important. My beliefs don’t match the common dogma. I don’t have ambitions in the traditional sense, because my ambitions are centered around concepts like fairness and justice, around comprehension, not status and/or possessions.

Therapy didn’t help me get over these because there was nothing, really, to get over. But it did help immensely in the sense that I felt understood for the first time in a long time. it encouraged me to redirect my frustrations toward trying to be the change I want to see. I got into politics for the first time, I started actually reading the people and theories which matched my values to understand as much as I can of them. Basically, it helped me accept myself as a misfit for everyone but myself. And slowly but surely, that also started filtering people with whom I actually had common subjects. And it turned that general dejection at seeing the world as it is into a motivating anger.

It also heped me understand that all of this was causing me immense emotional discomfort precisely because I, too, love life and everything living. How could one not suffer when seeing that which one loves is suffering?

Maybe this is not the case for you, I dunno. Not offering this up as a solution, just as a different example. Still highly recommend therapy, talking to someone who’s open to listening and understanding always helps.

Every time I see this guy’s face I think: lobster social hierarchies. And then I laugh my ass off.

Ritualistic masturbation on top of a grave. The Greeks never disappoint, I swear!

Wow, what a healthy relationship. Also, thank you!

Which end of it, the putting cigarettes out, or the choking?

Oh, wow, this is an actual thing! Thank you kindly!

Thoroughly!

According to what I managed to find, Bieber put out his cigarette on Post Malone, so Malone choked him.

I honestly have no idea what the ultimate machinations behind such a plan would be, I don’t even believe that’s necessarily the case, just something which strikes me as almost so ridiculously bad, that it has to be fake. Maybe I’m just an optimist, hell if I know…

But to give into flights of fancy, one of the reasons why I could see someone wanting to prolong a massive conflict (maybe even two!) would be to sell weapons and generally implements of war. Would track with past behaviour. I’m sure there are plenty of other imaginable economic and political reasons, but that’s beyond speculation.

They did start selling weapons to any citizen who can enter a store, ask, and pay for one while there were no conflicts quite on this scale going on, which may or may not be just a coincidence. Again, haven’t the foggiest and this is all in good… uuh… fun, I guess.

Now with even less life satisfaction?

Y’know… If I were just a liiittle bit more paranoid, this would start looking like it’s all planned out. Make the other guy so bad that people will basically have to choose between ‘mild’ genocide and a complete lunatic who wants to create a Theo-Fascistic Middle Ages kingdom.

I’m honestly not chipping into the debate, firstly because this particular moral quandary is a Kobayashi Maru type deal, secondly because I’m not American so it’s not my place. Just random thoughts…

This was an almost creepy read, because you seem to have highlighted the very reason why I want out of IT and a desire I had swimming in the back of my mind for a while now!=))

Point one, it’s because I feel that the time I invest in my work ends up nowhere - especially in QA and given the tendency to not do actual QA during dev time anymore because more profits.

Point two, my physical labour background actually stems from several years spent at the countryside and doing honest to goodness agriculture. I miss those activities, from managing a rural household, to sewing and reaping significant amounts of grain, corn and potatoes. It never fully left me, and especially in the past several years it’s as though it started forming into a sort of desire. Maybe it’s time to actually look into it.

Thank you so much for these insights, you helped me figure out a bit of myself!

Heeey, I genuinely forgot about this option! Thank you!

I played around with the idea of trying my hand at a Psych or Philosophy degree, but these specialisations are… malnourished over here. Could try looking for stuff abroad, though. Thank you, on the list it goes!

Now that you mention it, I actually think I have an acquaintance who does CAD stuff:-? Unsure what, exactly, but couldn’t hurt to ask! Thank you for reminding me of this!

Thank you! I was actually considering this for a while, thought about trying to get hired by one of the bricolage chains, or something to that effect. Hell, scene setter at IKEA sounds like a dream at this point…

As far as a maintenance tech, I realised a couple of years ago that I missed my mark of becoming an IT tech person, just fix work machines and such. Nowadays it feels like most people use private services or buy new gear outright…