I wouldn’t be shocked to run into insurance issues myself. What a time to be alive -_-

There’s definitely still a lot of back and forth with my wife, and some days being better than others, but she wants to keep talking about. I’m choosing to look at that as a positive sign.

I’m so thankful for this community, I’m sure I’ll be checking in a lot, too!

Oh gosh, now it’s my turn to apologize for a delay! Thank you so much for chiming in. Knowing we’re not alone in going through this is a support pillar on its own, and I hope that your journey ends up a rewarding one.

My wife and I have continued talking, and I think she’s gradually coming around and keeping an open mind, which is really all I can ask for right now. We haven’t delved into it, but she said something the other day to the effect of “when you transition at work, do you think xyz?” I’m hoping that means that she’s about ready for me to start looking into HRT, since she’s already thinking about scenarios where I’m out at the office.

I’m sure I will! Thank you again so much!

This is fantastic, and will definitely keep me occupied for a while. Slow reader here 😅

Thank you! Not feeling alone is itself such a huge relief and weight off my shoulders. I was a bit surprised (but pleasantly so, in a way) to read in the Gender Dysphoria Bible how many of us don’t recognize we’re trans until later in life. It made me feel less mad and ashamed and whatever other negative feelings I had with myself for missing all the earlier signs.

Yes, please, on additional reading recommendations! I’m still early enough in all of this to not know most of what I don’t know.

I really appreciate the advice and suggestions, and I’m trying to reframe my perspective. That was a really good point about inadvertently teaching some of the wrong lessons by giving in to fears and external pressures driven by societal bias.

Thank you so much for the detailed, thoughtful response! The Gender Dysphoria Bible is one that I’ve already started working through at the suggestion of one of my friends, but I’ll definitely add those other resources to my list.

I don’t think I’ve been in any danger of self-harm, but it has been eye opening how I can now look back and see signs of depression that I’d been pretending didn’t exist, and how much relief I feel having opened up to her and facing this part of myself, even with all the anxieties about things that may or may not happen. I do think I want to begin HRT, but I also don’t want to just charge ahead in without her. I understand what you’re saying about not letting her hold me back for my own sanity and health, but I think I’m going to need to find the balance between keeping her trust and doing what I need to do for me.

I also fear what impact coming out more broadly might have on our son, especially at his age, and remembering how miserable middle school could be. And I recognize that a lot of my fears and hesitations are based on societal dysphoria (thanks, Gender Dysphoria Bible!), but I’m struggling to get over that hurdle.

Thank you! One day at a time is something I keep telling both myself and her; she’s the type of personality to spin out scenarios over the next decade, and it’s just an overwhelming amount of “what ifs.”

Hi! I’m in a similar situation, too; just coming to terms with the realization in my 40s that I’m trans and struggling with the impact it’s going to have not only on me, but also on my spouse and child, and confronting fears about the state of the country and the world and all the hate out there. I haven’t found the courage to tell anyone other than my spouse, my therapist, and a few of my online friends yet. My spouse is trying to be supportive, but she’s also feeding some of those fears by speculating about how my parents and her parents might react, etc.