This is the first I’m heading of this ‘Nord Loneliness Epidemic’

Nicole?

Praise the prophets! A new toilet has been revealed unto me!

[Everyone disliked that]

How do you get an elephant into a bikini?

1. Open bikini
2. Remove the manatee from the bikini
3. Open fridge
4. Remove elephant from fridge
5. Insert elephant into bikini
6. Close bikini

Meme was cut short.

“How’d they get the manatee in a bikini?
And is it single?”

I toyed with the reverse scenario: Lt Dan taking Forrest and Jenny to meet the Shrimp Nazi

Jerry: She literally said, “life is like a box of chocolates”?
George: Yes, she said, “you never know what you’re gonna get.”
Jerry: “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get”?
George: Word for word.
Jerry: They have a card in them…
George: They have a menu.
Jerry: Right, the little menu card! So you know exactly what you’re getting.
George: I told her that.
Jerry: So what did you do?
George: I took that box of chocolates and I ran to the end of the road. And when I got there, I thought maybe I’d run to the end of town. And when I got there, I thought maybe I’d just run across the Upper West Side. And I figured, since I run this far, maybe I’d just run across Manhattan. And that’s what I did. I ran clear across Manhattan. For no particular reason I just kept on going.

The only correct response to political pressure from the USA is stronger resistance

Perhaps the Met Police Commissioner should write a strongly worded letter to Farage then? Or does he reserve that action for left-wing parties only?

British Museum be like

Weiner touching porcelain:
hot dog on a fancy plate ✅
sitting down to pee 🤢

I didn’t know the Church of England was this based

Meanwhile her face is ‘WTF is this thing?!’

A genuinely interesting read, and well written

Reply below with a ‘tut-tut’ to do your part for justice. Do it for America!

Tut-tut

Hey look, he’s doing that thing you all already knew he was doing!

The entrant from any new country must do Carpool Karaoke with James Corden. Can’t think of anything more cringe right now

In retaliation I now post notice that from today Sony does not own the money I transfer to them in exchange for goods or services. They have a limited, time bound, non-exclusive license to those funds which may be revoked by me at any time. By accepting my money, Sony also agrees to mandatory arbitration overseen by my 10 year old cat.