Yeah it is basic social skills haha. I do understand it though (but do not excuse it), especially with what @Mshuser has been saying.
Rejection sucks for everyone, but if your self worth is tied up in how successful you are when approaching women, rejection becomes a judgement of your value. Instead of hearing “no” (which could be for a million different reasons) they hear “you are not enough” (which would be a mean thing to say), and they react to the latter.
First of all, I really appreciate the discussion here - I’m a recent reddit transplant and “what would be your suggestion for being less combative?” was such a breath of fresh air.
Frankly, women are right to be afraid of us, and if you understand and accept why then women will like you more.
EVERY woman has had MANY bad experiences with men, because some guys are shitty. Most things don’t rise to the level of being a crime:
On and on, since before girls hit puberty. Being a woman requires picking your battles. If you reject the wrong guy they might go apeshit, so you say “I have a boyfriend.” Don’t compliment a guy, because some asshole yelled at you for “leading him on.” I appreciate that you’ve talked to women about this - ask them about times guys have been creepy.
Now, it obviously feels bad to be treated as a threat, even though it’s not personal. Don’t fall into the trap of blaming women - they don’t want to be afraid of men, they were taught to be. Shitty men taught them, and they’re to blame.
As men, we need to hold each other to higher standards. We also need to empathize with women - be mad WITH them, not AT them.
I actually disagree on this.
Money is power. Men are stereotypically the primary household earner. Women in those relationships rely on the men to provide an income, and men’s ability to take that away gives them power. Obviously, this isn’t strictly a good thing for the guy, since it comes with stress for him to provide, but it does skew power in the relationship.
Consider a normal distribution, with the x axis being “strength” and the y axis being “number of people” - lots of people are medium strong, few people are very strong or very weak. If you split that into two - one for men and one for women, and compare the top 1% strongest men and women, the men would be stronger. Since it’s a normal distribution, it also shows that the average man is stronger than the average woman. There are still many, many women that are stronger than the average guy, but as a population men are stronger.
I submit that “power” follows a normal distribution as well. I’m sure we agree that the top 1% of men are more powerful than the top 1% of women, so it would follow that the average man would be more powerful than the average woman.