500+ Mbps is really good for WiFi, really anything over 300 Mbps is more than enough for phones/laptops doing normal tasks.

For comparison, a 4k Netflix stream uses 15Mbps, and a 10GB file would download in just over 4 minutes on 300 Mbps

For devices that need low latency and more bandwidth, wired is the way to go

AT&T fiber ONTs don’t have a bridge mode, so adding a separate router would give double NAT

That being said, just use the ONT/router as the default gateway, and could use it for dns/dhcp or run your own instead. Can run all your own infrastructure and just disable services on the AT&T router that you want to run yourself. Disable WiFi and use your own access points, etc.

For accessing your services remotely, use a vpn like tailscale or zerotier, or set up cloudflare tunnels for publicly accessible services.

Fiber is better than copper, and the extra upload is absolutely worth it.

3000 sq ft from a single device? With advanced networking features? in a “home router” device? none…

You’re asking for basically a small business configuration, luckily that also means that everything will look good because it’s all hidden except for the APs on the ceiling. Find a good location in a basement or closet that you can run network cables to, then distribute throughout the house via the attic/basement to thoughtfully placed Access Points which are ceiling mounted. All the devices can sit on a wall mounted shelf, inside a nice hidden wall-mount enclosure, or in a network rack.

If you wanted to keep all devices under the same umbrella, TP-Link Omada is a pretty popular choice, they have a dual WAN router, PoE switches, and Access Points of many shapes and sizes. Personally I have a Mikrotik CCR router, an Aruba Instant On 24port PoE switch and 4 AP22 access points. Avoid Ubiquiti unless you like updates randomly breaking things and having to mess with it all the time.