Try a Cajun dirty rice sometime, it’s the only real competitor.

Tell me about the jollof rice!

First, they came for the trans people* and I did nothing because I am not trans.
Then they came for the immigrants and I did nothing because I am not an immigrant.
Then they came for women’s rights and I did nothing because I am not a woman.
Then they came for the… wait, what? Hold up!

* They came really hard for the trans people. Like strangely hard. Like they had some find of fixation.

The only way to stop a bad guy with some porn…

You are “DOOM!”

Can’t you read? It’s right there.

‘disgusting’ balls

My ex-girlfriend’s nickname for me.

Fuck vapers billowing out their enormous clouds of nauseating, fetid, fruit guffs. I don’t want to smell your straw-fucking-berry exhalation, you self-absorbed wankers.

another over damage to an unknown piece of police equipment.

You can just sat ‘shat in the toaster’.

And yet there are a lot more c-words down south.

I’ve got the pox, so that’s a pretty clear sign that the end times are upon us.

Yes. Apparently, they can.

Bugger, But also, heil, leader Trump, I suppose.

Shocking. I have a small studio flat (it’s not much but comfortable) in a surgical operating theatre but will they let me incinerate tyres in an old oil drum? No, they will not!

Almost exactly 10 years ago. My wife and her best friend went away for a week and took the kids with them. I had a bunch of holiday saved up so I took the week off work and had the house to myself. I spent the first two days tidying, cleaning, and doing chores - so I wouldn’t have to end the week doing that and so when my wife got home she’d be happy because that means a lot to me.

But that still left five days of utterly selfish me-time.

I arranged to see precisely no-one (a combination of depression and a yearning for peace and quiet). I moved my XBox into the living room with the big TV. I slept in, ordered takeaways, played video games, watched films with more fights and car chases and explosions than my wife enjoys, went for the occasional pointless, destinationless drive (playing Metallica and Iron Maiden and Pink Floyd too loud), and the occasional walk just to shake off the cobwebs (and maybe visit an old-man pub where there are no jukeboxes or fruit machines or people who will talk at you). I even spent most of the last day just reading a book. I never get that much peace and quiet.

What a week.

I’d definitely pay for another like it.

Fuck vapes and fuck vapers. I don’t want to breathe your cloud of toxic fake-fruit-smelling shit.

Bonfire Night is really just not that big a deal over here. I’d happily bet you one shiny new pence piece that he’s in the US today.

Surely you mean pic-a-nic basket?

That poor bastard yak (or whatever) wandered into the wrong canyon that day.

Careful, my wife grew up on the mean streets of Hampstead.

But she’s got no opinion on whether Quality Street or Rises are better which came as a surprise to me.

Blantness, lol. Buffoon.