Is this Newcastle’s season over? How many games do they have to struggle through before January offers some hope of reinforcement?

Manchester City are boring as hell to watch. And Guardiola wants them to be boring. Control. Control. Control.

Presumably he’d push up a CB, which he does anyway… but Stones is injured enough himself I’d guess they’d buy a CB as well.

I guess another option would be to just not have a winger on that side. Or Reece James would be the nominal winger.

Or maybe Reece James can invert.

Has Rico Lewis really been (a) getting enough game time and (b) demonstrating the kind of quality that suggests an international cap? (This is not a rhetorical question; I do not, as a rule, watch Manchester City games.)

Because that’s never given as a penalty: goalkeepers are a protected species.

Did they do an apology for the Onana one? Hmm… yep. Yeah, okay, clearly it’s a “we acknowledge it should be a penalty but we’re going to keep not awarding these because we’ve never awarded them” situation.

Okay, why would he want to stay?

He’s a like fascist or something right? Bolsanaro? Ah Bolsonaro.

“Boss, only half the team are right backs!”

“Hold my waistcoat.”

“Boss, only half the team are right backs!”

“Hold my waistcoat.”

“Boss, only half the team are right backs!”

“Hold my waistcoat.”

“Boss, only half the team are right backs!”

“Hold my waistcoat.”