Yeah, I mean, considering that those really look more like dirks or something, if it was real swords with leather-covered handles, my instinct is that #1: 400 calories would be more than one sword and #2: you would be dead before you could expend those calories. Did your research confirm that? I may need to take that research ride too.
You have to make sure you get the whole-grain existential horror: that refined horror stuff they are selling to kids these days is just empty calories.