As long as it doesn’t make the employees’ day harder/they had a head’s up, then uhhh rock on 🤙

I had to stop so may “pranks” as an usher at the movie theater because they were too disruptive.

One guy came in and was cool about it, “what’s the deadest hour I can do something in your lobby? we won’t hurt anyone and just want to be silly.” and we let him; he just dressed up like a pigeon and pecked at popcorn people would spill, sometimes out of shock when they saw him.

This one looks pretty harmless/the employees were chill with it based on one of the being silly enough to try and kick ‘em.

what a shitpost

Rock the Casbah has a Nokia ringtone in it and it drives me nuts. I wish I never noticed it.

Waltz With Bashir 2 coming soon.

No, wait, I don’t want to see the ruin around me!

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It’ll really soup up your vocabulary!

Me to my mom: Mom you can’t just download .exe files from websites nobody’s ever heard of before, that’s how you get viruses.

Me right now: OH FUCK YEAH GIMME THAT .EXE FILE WHOEVER YOU PEOPLE ARE.

Speed self checkout is a great skill.

Do you bag at the end of everything, or do you sneak your first item into a bag to start? Is there a way to not have coupons ruin the speed as it forces the helper to come take the coupons from you?

If you’re at a loss for words I know where you can maybe find more…

I was going to crack a joke about being sent to Sam Hell, but I learned it’s actually Sam Hill and I’ve been mishearing it for the word it’s meant to be a euphemism for this whole time.

Higher tea intake showed similar results, while decaffeinated coffee did not — suggesting that caffeine may be the active factor producing these neuroprotective results, though further research is needed to validate the responsible factors and mechanisms.

I have caffeine sensitivity and only drink decaf so uhhhh fuck me I guess 😔

Nearly everything’s in that soup from A-Z.

And then, to make the non-athletic person feel better about themselves, they show us a skill they themselves have perfected in life.

Surely we’ve all got that under our belts, right?

For example I can get groceries faster than everyone else at Winco on a Sunday morning; I know the exact route to take through the store to be as economic with my time as possible.

His brother did worse things than pot, he’d be fine with it.

The food would be great if it weren’t for the diesel aftertaste.

The guy behind me was getting impatient. I was worried things might get hairy.