Vance works for me

Pendejo Time.

Jake and Thomas are two guys with fucked up pasts, just shooting the shit and improvising.

The only podcast that scratches the cumtown itch.

My favourite bit:

https://youtu.be/LZVAzirE60Y

Speak for yourself. My JO crystal is so supercharged I can levitate up to 6 cm from the ground and yell louder than a police siren.

I have won several fights by blinding my opponent with the flash of the JO crystal as I crank my hog with one hand and swing my crystal with the other.

My seed has become so powerful, I’m banned from donating semen in 17 countries, including Papua New Guinea and the Pharoe Island.

I have channeled the unholy energies from my magnetic wristbands and wooden bracelets to erect a dark labyrinth to contain me so I won’t accidentally break reality apart when I crank my hawg too hard.

Do not underestimate the power of crystals.

Man, Dutch is such a fucked up language.

I don’t even speak it, but I understand like 80% of it if I just imagine the speaker is a drunk Dane trying to speak English.

Just saying, I’ve never had a virus with Temple OS.

Mpreg Sonic The Hedgehog and The Simpsons cockvore.

Putting Hamster Exploder Operator on my CV.

Huh, TIL I can smell ants too.

I used to live in a basement that had regular cycles of ant infestations. I would know they had returned, because the room had started to smell a certain way. Kind of like, damp slightly sweaty skin, but also kind of woody?

Every time I smelt it, I’d always find fresh ant eggs along the wall in the room.

But how many balls does it have?

What if cancer could be cured by turning the patient into a dinosaur?

Ever heard of a dino with cancer?

If it glows, it goes. (Up my ass)

Konosuba is the only decent isekai show, and it would be an even better show if they dropped the in-world video game mechanics.

I’m currently using revanced to browse YouTube on my phone. No ads and it automatically skips over promotional parts in videos.

And some will blast your brain into the 4th dimension and make you almost enjoy Tool albums.

• I never wash my rice

• i use the high power water setting on my shower head as a bidet

• i throw rocks behind me to distract people so i can adjust my balls while they’re not looking

“Has the economy gone woke?”

Tired of playing supertuxcart.

Pendejo Time.

Jake, a recovering cokehead, trauma dumps about his time as a drug addicted fuck up and his dead father while his friend Thomas grunts out his fever fantasies about talking animals while googling different types of dicks.

Scratches the same itch as cumtown.

But he was sooo cool

Slayers, the anime. I thought emulating Zelgadis and acting all quiet and mysterious would make me look cool and get me a lot of friends.

It didn’t ;_;