You’re right. I do think it’s important though to be open to admitting that many of the terms we use are reflective of a hetero/cisnormative patriarchy. I live in a region where it’s very common to call someone “guy,” regardless of gender. It may be used in a non-gendered way by most people here, but I’m trying to drop it from my vocabulary since it has gendered roots, and there are better terms I can use that are more inclusive. I feel the same way about “dude.”

I think everyone needs to be open to at least having a discussion, but I’ve seen people double down when asked to use a different term. That’s not what you’re doing obviously, but I’ve seen it.

I think this also applies to people trying to reclaim slurs. I’ve had other LGBT+ people call me the f-slur repeatedly when I simply tell them I don’t identify with that term.

We all need to be more thoughtful, I think. Myself included