• BetaBlake@lemmy.world
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    10 months ago

    Why do things need to get better for men? Things have been pretty excellent for men for a very very long time.

    • Isoprenoid@programming.dev
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      10 months ago
      • high suicide rate
      • male loneliness has always been terrible and it’s on the rise
      • 19 out of 20 deaths at the work place are men
      • most likely to have poor work-life balance
      • most likely to be imprisoned
      • most likely to be homeless
      • most likely to NOT get custody of the kids they love

      Pretty excellent, aye? These men just need to pull themselves up by their bootstraps.

      • ParsnipWitch@feddit.de
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        10 months ago

        Which of those issues are in place because men are oppressed as being inferior instead of being gender expectations that feminism targets? Meaning: which are a consequence of gender expectations?

        High suicide rate is connected to men more likely to have access to guns and because they are less likely to go to a doctor because of gender expectations.

        Loneliness is on the rise for everyone. Some studies find more loneliness in women. The idea of “the male loneliness epidemic” is meme that just generates tons of clicks and engagement. It’s not real.

        For the work place it’s again a problem of gender expectations. It’s not because people see men as inferior.

        So are the next three.

        Men are actually more likely to get custody of they ask for it. You have fallen for a manosphere conspiracy theory that has no basis in reality. Women more often get custody because when both parents work, the men’s job is respected, the women’s isn’t. They get automatically assumed to be the caregiver because of gender expectations. The only thing a man has to do is literally ask for custody. On the other hand, a single mother who is expected to do the brunt of the caregiving, can’t force the father to take more time with the kids. Simply because of gender expectations.

        • Isoprenoid@programming.dev
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          10 months ago

          High suicide rate is connected to men more likely to have access to guns

          High male suicide rates happen even without access to guns.

          The idea of “the male loneliness epidemic” is meme that just generates tons of clicks and engagement. It’s not real.

          Show me your receipts.

          For the work place it’s again a problem of gender expectations.

          You don’t think it’s internal drivers? That man are driven to perform internally and externally?

          Men are actually more likely to get custody of they ask for it.

      • eatthecake@lemmy.world
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        10 months ago

        And how should women help with male loneliness? Do you want a comfort woman assigned to you? Noone is entitled to a relationship.

        • Isoprenoid@programming.dev
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          10 months ago

          how should women help with male loneliness?

          I wasn’t insinuating that women should help with male loneliness. I don’t think women have the answer here.

        • hakase@lemm.ee
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          10 months ago

          Literally nobody said anything about “comfort women”, or that male loneliness even has anything to do with sexuality, for that matter.

          One thing women could do to help is to stop demonizing and dismantling male-only spaces that provide men an opportunity for bonding and comradeship while hypocritically demanding more and more women-only spaces.

          • eatthecake@lemmy.world
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            10 months ago

            Ok, then stop making those ‘male only’ spaces places where women are employed as sex objects and men are excluding their female colleagues from networking whilst engaging in a bit of fun sexual harrassment.

            • hakase@lemm.ee
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              10 months ago

              Ok, then stop making blanket statements that all men’s spaces are like that, when that’s clearly not the case.

              In fact, to answer your original question in a more complete manner: one thing women could do to help men’s lives improve is to stop systemically demonizing men in general.

      • Glitchington@lemmy.world
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        10 months ago

        No, these men need to communicate better with the women in their lives. They need to find and attend regular therapy. They need to practice safety regardless of their peers attitudes. They need to stand up for others rights, so we can all accommodate the burdens of life together. This list reads like a list of things men have imposed on other men from my perspective.

        • Isoprenoid@programming.dev
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          10 months ago

          these men need to communicate better

          They need to …

          They need to …

          They need to …

          There’s those bootstraps I was talking about.

          … from my perspective.

          • Glitchington@lemmy.world
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            10 months ago

            Ah yes, being a reasonable, empathetic member of society. “BoOtStRaPs!!1!”

            I’m a depressed male, I have attended therapy, I have talked with those close to me, I have been in dark times, and I’m hella lonely. Being a fascist isn’t going to fix that, if history tells us anything, that’ll make it worse.

            • TexMexBazooka@lemm.ee
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              10 months ago

              See, you’re a depressed male shitting on other men that are trying to empathize with you, solely because they’re men and acknowledging men still have problems.

              You’re also just being a dick.

              • Glitchington@lemmy.world
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                10 months ago

                I’m not shitting on anyone for pointing out that men have problems. I’m pointing out that there are means to fixing these problems that don’t involve picking up fascist politics.

            • Isoprenoid@programming.dev
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              10 months ago

              Ah yes, being a reasonable, empathetic member of society. “BoOtStRaPs!!1!”

              The majority of lads are growing up without father figures, and yet we expect them to be functional males once they are adults.

              If that’s not bootstraps, then I don’t know what is.

              Being a fascist isn’t going to fix that

              I never claimed that was a viable choice.

              I’m a depressed male, I have attended therapy, I have talked with those close to me, I have been in dark times, and I’m hella lonely.

              Then you of all people should know that there’s not much out there that is going to help you get to the next level. Imagine a world where you never had to go through dark times, or attend therapy, because the way you were brought up prepared you for those times. And gave you the emotional tools to navigate support networks.

              Imagine stability.

              • Glitchington@lemmy.world
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                10 months ago

                I guess the point I’m getting at here is that, you’re preaching to the choir, but I’m still over here hoping we can solve this problem for EVERYONE. Because sure, men have issues, but women not only exist, but are humans in need of the same types of help, and in a lot of cases are facing even more adversity what with global fascism on the rise.

                Edit: Also was trying to say something about being bullied for wearing safety gear at dangerous jobs (my experience), and how “gotta be a strong man, can’t cry.” was like, the worst feeling I ever had, and when I let go of it and cried and had feelings I felt a lot of relief. However, I’m still very much shamed for my “lack of masculinity” amongst most of the more conservative and more manly folks I know. Makes me feel like I’m part of some out-group that doesn’t exist and has no support because women and men don’t want anything to do with me.