My wife and I have life plans that make HRT unrealistic in the near future. We’re mostly concerned with fertility and my wife is still coming to terms with my identity. She understands it - she’s just grappling with the possible future changes.

In the meantime, I’m starting to do what I can to transition without HRT. Shaving. Exercise and dieting. Growing my hair out. Facial routines and hair routines. Etc.

I found FaceApp (like many other trans folks) and I’ve become a little obsessive. I take at least one photo a day and I’ve experimented with using the generated photos in private accounts for a euphoria hit. But I’m feeling like it’s making me constantly obsess with transitioning. I’m perusing trans timelines, MTF fashion, etc. on my phone a lot more than usual. Before using the app, I didn’t really have “goals”. I just wanted to get as close to feminine as possible. Now, I see this other face and I want to be her. I feel trapped in this body.

Anyways, I guess I’m just venting here. It hurts to feel this way.

    • pooberbee (they/she)@lemmy.mlEnglish
      0·
      1 month ago

      I’ve played with the app a bit. The gender setting does a lot of subtle stuff like changing your face shape ever-so-slightly. I think it’s kind of worth trying both directions, just to see how it will try and make you more conventionally attractive. Masc me was very rugged and had a very good beard, and femme me had bigger eyes, smoother skin, and pinker lips. It’s uncanny and freaky, but it gave me a better perspective on what the app is actually doing. The positive side is that it’s helped me think about how to do hair, makeup, and eyebrows.