It hurts, sometimes, having to hide this from people who mean more to me than my own family.
I rather recently had a few hopes dashed that a very dear friend of mine might at least understand, though thankfully I was able to avoid suspicion.
So, while I don’t want to have my hopes too high in future, I also wouldn’t want to miss getting to be… me, with people I could really trust.
So. Any ideas for how to better tell who could be “safe”, for trying to figure if someone near and dear might have the heart to know?
I understand if not. Doubt I’m the first to struggle here. But, hey, maybe there’s a discussion to be had, maybe someone will have some brilliant idea, maybe we can at least trade tales of times we were crushed by the sudden realization that someone who means the world to us would leave if they ever found out.
Honestly, I was far too afraid to tell her.
Was, in a sense, feeling her out. And… I let myself get my hopes up a little, only for them to be dashed out.
Guess you could say I came here so if I ever, by some miracle, came across a case that was actually worth getting my hopes up a little for, that I wouldn’t discard it out of hand.
That I’d choose feeling out not over immediate trust but over immediate rejection.
Part of me wants to hope that maybe someday there might be someone safe. That there’s someone who, when felt out long enough, might pass the checks.
And I don’t want to hopelessly toss them in with all of the ones who’d want to turn my head into a fine pink mist.