Of course, parents fill out a form, like a testament really, where they get to choose which kid gets which dinnerware set and who gets which mental illness.

Yes, that was the requirement for raising a child. You want a refund?

I inherited three things from my mom:

• her big feet
• her big breasts
• her big anxiety

I guess I should date someone who’s into feet, boobs, and providing reassuring support. Finding someone who’s into the first two is easy, but the last thing? Ooof.

I know there are guys out there who are willing and able to provide such support, but honestly it’s been much easier to find women who are into all three. Especially when so many “ass men” decide to go around saying that liking boobs is “childish.” In my experience, most other ladies know it’s okay to be into one physical aspect of someone’s body without insulting another physical aspect. Maybe the guys who say that don’t think it’s insulting, but as someone who was blessed more above than below, it comes off as just another way to make women feel bad about our bodies.

Actually i only collected the box /jk

Oh well at least it was free.

(Looks around at everything) Yay!?

Unplanned first born, I got all the good stuff.

And at least a couple decades of gaslighting

Family of hoarders, multiple collectors box sets*.

all of which have been sitting in a damp basement rotting