When I first joined this community I saw it as a respite from reddit where I was free to chill with people without being constantly expected to debate or defend arguments or anything. Just a forum where people are nice.

Lately though it seems every active comment section is filled to the brim with, to be frank, obnoxious people who want nothing more than to fight with you about everything you say. I think they’re known as “debate bros.”

I’m not saying debate shouldn’t be happening but to be honest it’s disappointing seeing it be the only thing occurring. I’ve tried contributing in other fashions but have been met multiple times with people trying to start arguments with me about things or get me to defend “points” that I didn’t make. This in particular has been very annoying. I’ve reported every instance of this due to it not contributing but I feel as if that’s not helping.

I like talking to people I disagree with. I like conversing with differing opinions. But I feel alone in that this isn’t the only thing I want to do on a forum.

Again, I’m not trying to definitively say we shouldn’t debate at all, but just pointing out how prevalent it seems to be. Id like to just converse with people without being expected to make and defend points. I feel like that’s a major thing we should’ve left on Reddit.

If people want to debate then they can do that. I just dislike that it appears to become the base-level expectation for the instance.

  • Bebo@sffa.community
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    1 year ago

    When I experience an argumentative back and forth where it gets increasingly clear that the opposite person is arguing just to have a fight or is unable to see simple logic, I just stop responding. This has always been the best option for my mental health. Oops I didn’t realise this is quite an old post!

  • Nullroad@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    I’ve been on the internet long enough to know that any argument that goes on for long enough is going to get uncivil. You’re also very unlikely to convince someone who feel threatened by your point.

    So I’ve got a soft ‘respond once’ policy. if someone replies to one of my comments, I respond once to clarify my position and address anything important. If I have failed to make my point by then, then my writing ability will continue to be insufficient in n > 2 comments, and I am adult enough to let them have the last word.

  • FIash Mob #5678@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    I’ve felt that lemmy.world has. It feels much more like vintage Reddit.

    Beehaw I haven’t experienced quite as much of the arguing for arguing’s sake. If someone’s arguing with me, they’re usually doing so in good faith.

  • willya@lemmyf.uk
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    1 year ago

    If you post something you should expect a reply, and you definitely should not expect it to be a yes, man type reply. It would also depend on what you’re commenting on. All in all it’s to be expected as things grow. Sounds like what you would like to have is in all of the communities that have been defederated from the major instances. A hive mind type experience.

    • bermuda@beehaw.orgOP
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      1 year ago

      I literally explained in my post multiple times that I’m not looking for people to agree with everything I say.

      If you couldn’t get that the multiple times I said it than I see no point in continuing it here because I don’t think it would work. My post was pretty clearly about obnoxious people that want to argue about everything so I find it almost funny that you would just… do that.

      • willya@lemmyf.uk
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        1 year ago

        Yeah, I did it on purpose cause you seem to wanna say shit and not have a response. That’s not what this is for. Create a blog and turn off comments. You can’t cover all your bases in a post. What you’re saying is contradictory throughout your post. You want this and you want that but you want a perfectly level line of it somehow.

        • bermuda@beehaw.orgOP
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          1 year ago

          You can be a contrarian troll all you want but not to me. I’m not entertaining this further. Blocked and reported.

    • Silverseren@kbin.social
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      1 year ago

      So, I gather from what you’ve said that said argument is about you refusing to vote against Republicans and their actions, thus abandoning minorities across the country?

      • Lionir [he/him]@beehaw.org
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        1 year ago

        I don’t think this is an appropriate reply right now considering they are already complaining about having to argue about it.

        • Silverseren@kbin.social
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          1 year ago

          It’s just a funny situation where they are the terrible person complaining about others calling them out on the terrible things they say on the Fediverse.

          It has nothing to do with toxicity at all, but just others holding them accountable.

      • snowbell@beehaw.org
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        1 year ago

        Transgender person here, please do not use me as an excuse to berate people for refusing to vote Democrat. I’m right in OP’s boat on this one.