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The original was posted on /r/nostupidquestions by /u/Middle-Gas3531 on 2023-09-19 04:35:48+00:00.


I’m a guy, almost 30, been in a handful of relationships, been cheated on a couple of times. Even before being cheated on myself, I never once cheated, helped someone else cheat, or even been tempted to do either.

I feel like everyone you ask will say cheaters are the worst or that cheating is horrible and inexcusable, but at the same time it’s so common that most people who say that are cheaters themselves. I don’t understand why it’s so common, even in people who seem sensible and intelligent. I don’t believe it’s something you can do “on accident.” I understand seeing an attractive person and quietly appreciating their looks even while in a relationship, but I’m not a fucking ape, I don’t get overwhelmed with an urge to fuck someone no matter how hot they are.

I hate hearing peers/colleagues talk about their cheating, their “sneaky links” like it’s normal and acceptable. It makes me want to give up on love forever because everyone seems to think it’s okay to cheat. I just don’t get it. If you want casual sex, why on Earth would you agree to be in an exclusive relationship? Furthermore, why wouldn’t you go for people who are unmarried/single? It’s not hard. It’s like these people are going out of their way to hurt others when it would be much easier to get their gratification without hurting anyone. Am I naive? Is there something wrong with me?