I’ve tried to “be normal” and fit in for the past 9 years of my life in an ocean of children from bourgeois immigrant families, the most insufferable flaccid energy, cabbage for brains STEM bros called Stanford/MIT/Berkeley students, and carbon copy clones of elite Silicon Valley coders so predictable it’s like they’re all Nano Puff jackets from the same Patagonia factory and it’s caused irreparable damage to my personality and thought patterns

It’s ironic that all they do is type 0s and 1s into text files on their computers all day yet they’re all fucking 0s. As in Zero chance of avoiding the Wall. Zero chance of redemption. I will re-educate these pickle-ball playing pickle-dick pickles so thoroughly historians will call it the fucking HoloKafka (Streams)

If I was in a room with Hitler, Churchill, Bush, Zuckerberg, a random Google coder, and a gun with 2 bullets in my hand, I’d shoot the coder’s index finger off so they can’t rock climb any routes harder than a V2 anymore and then

This nightmare labyrinth of tech companies is like Scandinavia, where all of its residents are smug bourgeois-proletariats completely drunk on the social democrat lifestyle and benefits but instead of being trapped by artificial human inventions like “borders”, I’m trapped by equally dumb bullshit called “shit healthcare”, “ever increasing rent prices”, and “being born to factory workers instead of wealthy doctors”

You wanna know how I got these scars? After my co-worker said it was a good thing his teammate got laid off and deserved it because he was a slow coder, I bashed his nerd skull into his mechanical keyboard over and over till he was throwing up Soylent and La Croix and accidentally cut my hand on the MX Cherry Red key caps while doing so