My first job out of university.
Company is going through financial hardship. Boss cancels our collective insurance without telling us. Then the president of the company does a meeting in a shady motel reception room to announce to everyone the company isn’t going well and we all need to take a 10% pay cut. Ends the PowerPoint presentation with a photo from our major client’s ads with a lady on a beach with a laptop. President says “oh that’s going to be me in a few weeks. I’ll be going to Greece!”
The whole room just say there silent.
Fuck the rich.
“Don’t you all have phones!?”
I was an interpreter for this event, and I was the one covering this part of the panel. As an ex-Blizz fan, this moment is seared in my memory for many reasons. The shame of having to interpret this not the least.
Yup, I was there as well. The bride moment of dead silence followed by booing after they announced it will forever be etched into my brain. To be fair though, poor Wyatt was set up and was never going to land that pitch in that setting.
?
Fair question. It was a dick move from Blizzard when they were called out for not releasing their next Diablo game in anything but mobile. When the crowd booed, the game dev was all, “Do you guys not have phones?”
Oh, wow.
Nobody should be downvoting you. Not everyone pays attention to, iunno, that crapfest that is/was E3 or the like
Thing is, the guy wasn’t wrong. Everyone in that room most certainly had a phone capable of playing the game.
But Blizzard was teasing Diablo 4 all but without actually saying it. I feel that a simple black screen, a voice over, and a flaming “IV” would have been all that was needed since they obviously was balls deep in development of it at the time.
And Blizzcon is a PC gaming centric event and we all know how PC gamers feel about mobile games. He didn’t just read the room wrong, he was in the wrong room entirely. The mobile game should have been announced as a Twitter post
In comparison Bethesda was smart about announcing Fallout Shelter by talking about Fallout 4 first, then going “oh btw some of us been doing this phone game on the side…”
Plus it was developed by a shitty mobile game apps company that was known for ripping off assets from other games. Sure, Blizzard licensed the assets to them, but the problem wasn’t really the stealing of the assets itself, it was that only shitty fly by the night companies are ripping off assets to put into a game that hopes to trick people into spending money on microtransactions before they realize how bad the game was.
I was going to mention this one.
I thought I made people mad by ordering a curry chicken sandwich in a student-ran shop in college, but I hadn’t paid attention to an announcement that was made at the end of the class and I accidentally interrupted the minute of silence for a terrorist attack that had happened a few days before
Good lord 😂
I got called “chicken curry” for years
Honestly fuck those intercom announcements. If you want to have a minute of silence, say “we will now have a minute of silence” instead of “mrrrr mrr mrrr mr drrrrr mrrrrr mrrrrr-mrrrrrrrr” fucking shit quality can’t understand a word they say
It was an announcement in class by the teachers
Ah well then you’re just a dummy.
Similar situation, I was at an antiques shop with my parents, on November 11th, which here in the UK is a day of remembrance for people who died during WW1 and WW2. We’re observing the moment of silence, when an American guy walks in, notices the silence and loudly exclaims “Wow, who died? It’s like a mausoleum in here!” Someone, thankfully, took him to the side and quietly explained what was happening. He did apologise afterwards. I found the whole situation very funny.
At least there’s a concrete answer to his question!
Ooooof. This sounds like something I would do. Ugh. I want to hide right now just thinking about it. Glad you made it through to the other side. :)
I remember a pause for a minute’s silence announced in the upper concourse of a train station (UK) last year. It was disconcertingly comedic as the people walking in either on the phone or with a friend were very confused at why everyone inside was standing motionless and glaring at them.
I think I was working in that station on that day, because I have a very similar anecdote. Actually someone came to buy a ticket, and was annoyed because they thought they might miss their train having to wait for the minute’s silence to end. Not even the most callous passenger I’ve come across either.
Where did you see that? I’m in the UK, can’t remember exactly which station but pretty sure it was a London station with underground
Former CEO gathers 20-30 of us in the board room, talks about the difficult economy, proceeds to fire everyone.
The silence was deafening.
The meeting ends, he stands at the door expecting us to shake his hand as we leave.
Not a single person shook his hand.
At least he didn’t publicly share what his bonus was going to be for improving the bottom line.
Never forget that the year Lehman Brothers “collapsed” it paid the CEO 700 million dollars for one years worth of work.
Back in the day I worked in a restaurant that closed down, and the owner tried to steal all of our last two weeks’ pay.
It had been announced ahead of time that the place was going to close at the end of the month, and we were actually a very popular place, so the last two weeks were completely sold out, crazy busy, and there should have been lots of tips. After we closed, they kept dragging out the date we could get out last paychecks, then finally just tried saying, “there won’t be any last paychecks.”
All of us employees got together with a lawyer and they sent a letter saying that they needed to give us our last paychecks or we would file a class action lawsuit for all the tips they’d been stealing out of the tip pool. He then relented and agreed to pay us our last checks, but refused to mail them. When I went to pick up the check, dude really had the balls to try to shake my hand and say, “Hey Turtle Joe, how’s the summer going? Take any vacations or anything?”
I left him hanging and said, “No I’ve been out of work for months now. I’m not here to talk to you, I just need my check.”
P.S. we sued him for wage theft anyway and ended up taking him for almost $200k.
Former, you say?
Yeah, a real incompetent sociopath.
I heard this years later by my former boss. He used to work for a company that just announced some lay-offs because work was slow. Right as the lay-offs were being announced the head of the company pulled into the lot with his new Porsche lease. It was terrible timing, but the corporate lease was up and the car was ordered months prior. Just made the owner look especially tone-deaf since the car came the same say as the lay-off announcement.
Why are most of the stories here about dickhead executives
The janitor doesn’t usually have to address an entire room full of people.
I know hating on CEOs is par for the course for Lemmy, and I tend to agree most of the time, but being fair here, it isn’t that often that lower (or even middle) ranking employees have a chance to speak to 10, 20 or 100+ coworkers at the same time.
Depends. I work for a company that uses the SAFe methodology (whether that’s a good thing is a different discussion) there are tons of opportunities for people on the bottom of the org chart to do this.
Even in those contexts, the time is limited, tends to stay on point of some work, and in practice the audience can and will largely ignore the speakers.
Meanwhile, executives schedule regular mandatory meetings for them to spew words for 2 hours to an audience that is expected to have laptops put away and sit there and listen to the executive ramble on. That’s a whole lot of people stuck in a meeting they didn’t want anyway and a whole lot of time for the executive to go on self-involved tangents that are completely at odds with the bad news he might have to say.
A lot of the stories are fake, but also a lot of execs are dickheads
Dickhead executives are exactly the sort of people to get in a large room of people forced to be in it, and explicitly not care about “reading the room”, therefore the most likely to be in the situation, with the largest forced audiences to go talk about it.
that reminds me of a meeting I was in with the CEO of the company I worked for and we went around the room sharing our hobbies. Everyone said things like reading books or baking or playing video games or whatever.
The CEO said collecting vintage cars.
The CEO said collecting vintage cars.
I know people aren’t going to believe this, but honestly, you don’t need to be a bazillionaire to collect vintage cars. It sure helps (a lot!!), but depending upon what he was collecting, you can buy certain classics for (relatively speaking) cheap.
The director at my old company was into classic cars too and we would shoot-the-shit all the time about his cars and mine.
Yeah, this isn’t as bad as “fabrege eggs” or “Picassos” or something. He could totally be buying nothing but LeMans heritage race cars, but you can get some really nice cars for way less than you’d think. If it’s your only hobby and you do lots of trading and looking for barn finds, you can have a decent collection for not a whole lot of money.
probably cheaper than my cycling hobby too
My whole family was into vintage British roadsters. If you’re willing to work a bit and to flip them after you’ve had your fun, all but the first one pay for themselves.
Oh man, British cars are the best/worst for this I feel. I picked up a 72 Midget a couple of years ago, and while it was a shitton of work, it really wasn’t horribly expensive for me to to a full down to bare metal restoration on it.
My old man built a chimera out of a triumph spitfire and tr3 that was the cutest little thing. All swoopy, curvy body with the original leather seats and wire wheels, sounded like thunderous hell coming down the road and did 0 to 60…well, it usually did 0 to 60 if you asked really nice. But holy shit was it a pretty machine.
I’d love to see a picture! You definitely buy a British car for the looks rather than the speed haha. My Midget has some sort of aftermarket exhaust it came with, and it sounds amazing working it up through the gears, even if you’re only doing 50 by the time you’ve hit redline in 3rd.
But it’s hard to say goodbye!
I always thought of it like sending my kid to college. Doubly so because the money I got from selling my '72 MGB sent me to college.
I always think of it like Pokemon. I want to collect them all.
New hire, brought on board comes to a Monday meeting.
The company Quality of Worklife Balance survey has been returned, and it’s awful. It’s just after the 2008 crash, and we’re barely treading water, but the company held on. The CIO brought everyone into the largest conference room, meant for hundreds (there’s a couple dozen of us standing around, the chairs weren’t setup) and we stand around her as she procedes to tell us “Why is your QWL so low, you should be talking to your managers about this! I don’t wanna see another QWL survey this bad ever!” In a very yelly tone.
One of the managers raised their hand, and asked, “Folks feel like they’re not being listened to and that they’re not getting enough leeway to make decisions.”
CIO: “Well they need to get over that.”
And that was the first meeting a bunch of developers and IT folks got to see at that company.
Many other shenanigans occurred there, but my personal favorite was the quarter million dollar genset system all setup and tested multiple times – fueled and ready to go, failed in a major power outage because someone left the key in the “test” position on the generator.
– That CIO thought they led people, they did nothing of the sort.
The first all hands meeting (within three days of being hired) I had at my new job was the CEO talking about legal allegations and indicating he’s going to be much less involved in the day-to-day. Apparently he was pretty well known for being a massive dick and berating employees.
On the bright side, I’ve not had to deal with him once! In the last year-plus I’ve seen him comment on two tickets regarding bugs, but that’s about it. We’ve not had a single all-hands since then. I just started at an unlucky time, haha
Celebrities singing Imagine
I completely forgot this happened. 😂 Wow, that was wild.
A bunch of insulated aristocrats starved for attention while the rest of us were getting sick, disabled, and dying.
Our brains suppress extreme cringe memories.
Plant manager sending out a site wide email saying that we’re doing awesome, and we’re desperately hiring so refer all your friends. One month after layoffs were announced, and those to be layed off still had a month to go.
I don’t know where you’re from, but some countries/areas have laws against fire and rehire, it’s a disgusting practice.
Give you one guess… you won’t need it.
Something something “at will employement”? Gotta love most US states…
seen it happen before but what they do is ‘abolish’ the role, and introduce a new role with a new name, oddly similar job description (they change it enough to count as a new role) and rehire people on contract where the previous roles were permanent
We had a big mandatory meeting where an executive came in to tell us all to be happy we weren’t getting our bonuses or pay raises, and used a weird analogy about poor people being perfectly happy, because they have realistic expectations and that’s all you need to be happy.
He then had to leave early, as he quipped he was sharing a ride with a fellow executive on the private jet, and if he didn’t leave right then, he’d have to suffer flying commercial.
If you’re still there, organise your workplace. Unionise. Join the IWW - they can help you to accomplish this.
This was like a decade ago, I’m elsewhere now. Still not union, but I personally have no room to complain (reasonable hours and conditions and quite well paid).
Please tell me someone recorded this utter waste of oxygen doing the equivalent of stepping on garden tools in a Looney Tunes short. That’s so monstrously fucking stupid it could be funny (if the old adage of tragedy + time = comedy holds true, anyways).
“Don’t you guys have phones?”
Biggest physical room I’ve witnessed a misread happen in
“Is this some out of season April fools joke?”
And yet after everything that happened with Diablo Immortal, Diablo 4 was apparently Blizzard’s best selling game ever.
If the customers don’t care why should the company?
I think Blizzard not taking any real damage from their anti-consumer BS is why I don’t respect people who identify as Gamers™. I still play games, mainly from indie devs, but identifying as a gamer just means you’re a mark for scummy companies.
That’s a weird blanket to throw. I can think of a few people I know including myself who don’t fit that description but still would consider ourselves as gamers if someone asked.
Some of us have completely dumped ActiBliz permanently. The existence of Overwatch 2 was my final straw as it turned out Bungie was the bad guy behind the Activision mask all along with Destiny 2’s bullshit. Never even looked at Diablo Immortal or 4, and never will. Blizzard joined the shambling horde of zombie companies that effectively died years ago. Damned AAA necromancers just out to pump and dump any remaining customers.
There it is.
I came to this thread to say this one too.
I worked a night shift at a lobby of some residential building, with another guy patrolling the building.
Some mentally unstable person wound up sitting at the lobby while the guy was on patrol (long story), so I sent him a message explaining the situation as I didn’t want to talk about it in front of the person.
The patrol guy comes back, looks at the person, looks at me and says “so, who’s the psycho?”
Good lord, what an inconsiderate asshole
Not a specifically bad instance, but everywhere I’ve worked has always had that guy who has a hundred irrelevant questions at the end of a meeting, holding up 10 or so people from actually getting on with work.
Training classes in the military was the bane of my existence when I was in. Always people asking the dumbest questions ever.
I sit in business requirements meetings for enhancements to some software we use at work, and there’s a guy who feels the need to repeat everything everyone says in his own words (at least twice as many). The meetings used to be 30 mins but they had to extend them to an hour. And we have 2 a week.
Thanks to WFH it means I have 2 hours a week of guaranteed PlayStation time though, so I shouldn’t complain.
I’m the guy that needs to understand shit to move forward, so it’s like 25% dumb questions, 25% insightful questions, 25% pretentious sounding questions and 25% jokes that give white collar people heart attacks.
Great question Robert. Let’s go ahead and parking lot that for the right time. Make sure you send that to us in your reply to the meeting notes. I don’t want to lose track of it.
After a couple of bad questions, I’ll either excuse myself, suggest we carry on separately, or (ideally) ask to be sent a list, for me to ignore at my leisure.
Sorry Greg, we’re not here to answer your dumbass questions, or indulge your hypothetical edge cases.
It’s always hypothetical rabbit holes 🙄
They think they’re like Doctor Strange trying to map out every conceivable future
If 1 person has a question, then chances are good most people have that same question but are too afraid to ask it in front of everyone.
Some people have questions because they just don’t listen when information is given, or have no ability to think for themselves.
Had a teacher tell some students that it’s rude to speak a foreign language in school (an international school)
I had to be this teacher to a bunch of 8 year old Chinese girls who only spoke Mandarin purposefully to ostracize Brazilian girl, the only non Chinese girl in the room.
It was an English speaking international school in mainland China that incouraged speaking primarily in English.
An American comedian, following a long set here in Australia, told the audience to stand up and stretch. He then tried to direct us to “bend over and pat your neighbour on the fanny”. Stone cold silence did not indicate to him his mistake, and he tried several times before eventually realising he had lost his audience goodwill entirely with this starting skit.
Turned out later that he had no clue what “fanny” means here, and had to have it explained to him.
Still a weird thing to say.
Not as weird or rude as telling them to pat their neighbour on the vulva.
I think “grope your neighbor” just falls under unacceptable dumbassery from a stand-up regardless.
Like, if the bit is making people refuse to do it, why keep trying when no one laughs?
Genuinely curious what does fanny mean in Australia
It’s slang for ‘pussy’. It’s the same in the UK.
So question for any language experts: why is it different?
I’m not an expert, but “cunt” is related to similar Germanic words meaning “arse”. Etymonline just says the American “fanny” came from the British: https://www.etymonline.com/word/fanny#etymonline_v_1119
Because Australia is upside down.
And England, where we got it from?
Who knows why those limey bastards do anything.
Americans are obsessed with being different from England. See: Football / Soccer
There’s a Christmas song that became a classic in the US largely because it was hated in England.
The English were the ones that created the term soccer. It grew in popularity in America as soccer, then eventually fell out of popularity in Britain. In fact, a lot of the differences between words in the US and Britain are that Brits started using a different version of the word and Americans kept using the old one. Not all, but a lot.
Source: https://time.com/5335799/soccer-word-origin-england/
So one American circa 1776 decided “know what, mate? I think ‘fanny’ should refer to ass, not pussy”
Why?
“Coz fuck da bri’ish!!”
🍻 🍻 👏🥂
Sounds like the most American thing I’ve ever heard.
Same guy also had a hatred for useless letter "u"s.
…which one?
Well at least saying shove it up your fanny is indicating a similar location in both amarica and Australia
Wait, what does fanny mean in America?
It’s a word for butt. It sort of has a childish connotation, like a pre-school teacher might direct their class to “keep your fannys on the ground.”
Only in the US. In Commonwealth countries it’s a slang for vulva
Fanny was a nickname for Frances or Francesca.
Both the “buttocks” and “vulva” meanings may have originated from the scandalous 1748 novel Fanny Hill, or Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure.
Why did you get downvoted?
Not just the US. Canada too.
I worked for a UK based fashion retail business and they always found it blushingly charming when I referred to what they called a 'bum bag ’ a ‘Fanny pack’.
Also, ‘Pardon me!’ Doesn’t mean excuse me in UK English. It’s more an excuse for if you do something disgusting that you are ashamed of, like if you fart or burp.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but that was my take away the couple years I worked with British people.
Vulva
Okay wait, even if he meant “butt”, I feel like no one is going to follow a random comedian’s request to grope your neighbor on the butt…
No, not grope, as I said, pat.
He felt we had all been sitting down for too long, and should gently pat the stranger on the butt, presumably to help them with the pins and needles. It was weird, but we thought it was weirder still! I believe people did indeed ask a lot of questions of him, but at the time it was a massive moment of lost in translation and divided by a common language, etc.
One time the company big boss did a speech telling us how we could all learn a thing or two from his protégé, and clapped him on the shoulder.
If big boss had spent more time in the office, he’d have known that Mr Protégé spent most of his working hours playing ping-pong with Big Boss’s trophy-wife.
So ping-pong is an euphemism for sex? Or was he literally playing ping-pong?
I just remembered the pattycake scene in Roger Rabbit.
Yeah, but with his balls
Oooh the agony
Oh the shame
To make his privates public for a game
You could argue that he wasn’t wrong.
