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Whatever anyone’s opinion on this, ONION RINGS DO NOT BELONG HERE, they are NOT POTATOS
I’ve tried onion rings at at least 5 different resteraunts. All of them just tasted like heart failure. Don’t know how they are popular.
You must not have had them with barbeque sauce
OK. I’ll try ONE more time…
doctors hate this one trick…?
Sweet potatoes aren’t potatoes either.
they’re fried
Yes this screams of shitpost.
They are orthogonal to the potato axis.
WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!?
Zigzag
Uh, it’s crinkle cut and someone will die on my hill.
Our hill.
And my axe
And my bow 🏹
This
With Belgian mayonaise!
And I’m Dutch so I’m not even biased.
Yes. Vlaamse frieten zijn superieur.
Why Vlaamse? Good fries also in Brussels and Wallonia
Yes but they refuse to learn Dutch and nobody should be force to order in French
Because it is the Dutch term for Belgian fries.
Is that the same thing sold as “frite sauce”? That stuff is the food of the gods
I’m not an expert but I think frite sauce is basically mayonnaise with cheaper ingredients. To call something mayonnaise (at least in the Netherlands) it must contain 70% oil and 5% egg (yolk).
🫡
- Wedges
- Curly
- Zigzag
- Shoestring
- Waffle
- Tots
- Sweet Potato (not a potato but closer than an onion)
- Onion Rings (not a potato, would be 3 otherwise)
Okay, two of them aren’t even the same vegetable.
They’re all tied for number 1, except sweet potato, which skips all the empty spots below and goes straight to number 8. Sweet potato fries suck.
I wonder if they could be made better by doing that parboil-freeze-deepfry trick that makes mcdonalds fries so good
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Tater tot: A good tater tot is like butter. Pure salt and crunch then melt in your mouth deliciousness.
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Onion Rings: Good onion rings is technically better than tater tots, but the spectrum of bad to good onion rings is very wide.
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Curly Fries: Curly Fries are hard to fuck up. I don’t even think I’ve had a variation of curly fries. They’re all the same to me, but they’re so good.
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Wedges: Wedges have a smaller spectrum than onion rings, but the ceiling is lower and they’re hard to rank better than the ones ahead of them.
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Shoestring: McDonalds
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ZigZag: These can range from heavenly to straight fucking trash. Unfortunately they’re too easy to turn into straight fucking trash. By that I mean you have to put more work into them to make them good as opposed to just salt and oven/fried. Might as well just try to fry some snow at that point.
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Sweet Potato: I’ve had good sweet potato fries but I rarely get good sweet potato fries.
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Waffle: I don’t get these. They’re ass. The only place that makes them kinda tolerable is Chik-Fila, but even then they’re still ass to me. Can’t even make them good at home without drowning them in salt and ketchup. I can slice up a potato and chuck them in the oven and get better results most of the time.
Edit for formatting. Apparently piefed, doesn’t honor your numbering and turns it into 1, 2, 3, etc even if you go 8, 12, 3.
I nearly dismissed your review until you qualified your assessment of onion rings. I have transposed the order on those first two myself
They’re close. I might give another answer depending on the day. The rest of the order I stand by.
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No. I refuse to rank my children as well.
Where the hell are the Cajun fries?
8, 5, 4, 2, 1, 7, 3, 6
Adding Cajun seasoning to 4, 2, 1, or 7 would raise it above the other 3 and make me unsure about whether to raise it above 5.
They are definitely by shape (mostly, sweet potato is the odd one out), not seasoning. You can add Cajun seasoning to any of those and they’d still be what shape they are. Just like I prefer curly fries, but I don’t like the ones from Arby’s because of their seasoning.
mostly, sweet potato is the odd one out
And the onion rings.
I challenge you to find me a circular fry made from potato.
While I know what you meant, I’m going with this regardless.
Those must be about McCain before his presidential run.
My vote is on number 10: Röstis
5 8 7 2 4 1 6 3
My only strong opinion on the whole chart is that crinkle cut fries are the worst thing shown and thus take last place no matter what
Crinkle are dogshit tier but I’ll take them over sweet potato anything.
- Shoestrings
- Tots
- Wedges (but not the ones in this picture)
- Onion Rings (they’d be higher on the list but they’re not potatoes)
- Waffle
- Curly
- Zigzag (why do they always suck so much? In theory they should be great. Also why are they always sold at public swimming pools?)
- Sweet potato
Anything in the list gets to move up +1 when chicken salt is added if the other contenders don’t, except sweet potato or onion rings.
47123685
2: Top tier. I would suck a curly fry-wrapped dick as a side dish to my communion.
8: As pictured, yes. With their typical batter style that allows the onion to slide out? Fucking garbage. 1: A solid choice that reheats well and consistently delivers the yum.
7: Tasty and a fun puzzle as you try to reconstruct the potato.
3: Plain tots? Fuck outa here. Bump that shit up with some totchos.
4: Good in theory, dry as fuck in practice. Texture is inconsistent and offensive to autism.
5: What the fuck is wrong with you? Deadass. Explain your trauma to me.
6: Somehow chalk that reheats into more chalk. Your mom said not to fast food and then pulled these out the oven. Worse than a sweet potato fry.
