Hello everyone,

I’m reaching out today because I’m feeling overwhelmed with anxiety as I reflect on the past eight years. I’ve struggled with mental health issues, including a mild depression as diagnosed by my therapist, and more recently, anxiety. While these issues haven’t severely impacted my daily life, I feel that I’ve stagnated and not made the progress I had hoped for.

During these years, I’ve remained in the same low-qualified, low-paying job. I dropped out of university due to feelings of inadequacy and never moved out of my parents’ house, despite my dream of living abroad. Now, I find myself just going through the motions, waiting for the weekend, which often doesn’t bring the joy I expect.

I’m approaching 30 and feel like a failure, a loser, and too old to turn my life around. At the same time, I feel that my problems are trivial and that I shouldn’t be posting here. I’m not sure if this is the right community for this kind of post, so I apologize if it isn’t. I’m just looking for a bit of advice or resources that might help someone in a similar situation.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

  • redsunrise@programming.devEnglish
    7·
    6 days ago

    I was like you once. Had to move back in with my parents, couldn’t find a job for months on end. Floating through life without a fire in me felt like shit. Your problems aren’t trivial. Things will get better. Forgive the platitude, but despite what you believe right now, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

    I had/have a terrible anxiety disorder (still working on it to some degree, but I’m able to control it now) that was eating my life and my happiness away. What helped me tremendously was looking inward and asking why I feel these things without indulging any thoughts that came up. Objectively analyzing each thought and feeling without judgement. Each new revelation was followed by “well, why is that true?” Your emotions aren’t there for no reason, they’re indicators of your internal state like warning lights. Asking why they’re going off will lead you to the answers you want.

    From there, I accepted that my parents were straight up emotionally neglectful/abusive. I won’t delve into it for brevity, but I encourage you to objectively analyze your relationship with your parents. When I did that, I realized they were the source of my insecurities. Their constant criticism disguised as “jokes” and boundary breaking spawned that horrible anxiety disorder. Maybe your parents have done something similar?

    Read The Body Keeps the Score. It echoes pretty much everything I’ve said here. The best part? It’s empirically validated, no woo-woo bullshit.

    I hope this helped even a tiny bit.