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It’s not in Find My (which, yes, is stupid). It’s in the remote app on your Contro Center.
Go to the remote app and click on the box name. The option is in there.
Do you have a picture of the icon or the box?
Because you don’t use FindMy for the remote control.
What Apple TV and remote do you have? What is your iOS and tvOS version?
It’s not in Find My it’s in the control centre remote app
thanks!