I’m bisexual, and trans. I’ve been on dates with men, and women, presenting as both a man and a woman. I usually just pay for myself, or awkwardly fail to turn them down when the other person offers to pay.
As a man (straight) I consider it my duty to pay for a date, but if the woman wants to pay or go Dutch I’m not going to raise a fuss.
I’ll usually tell her straight up I do this as well. I figure if someone isn’t comfortable with me communicating something as simple as who’s going to pay for a date, how comfortable are they going to be with me communicating about other things as well?
Back when I was dating, if I invited someone, I offered to pay. If they wanted to pay, I’d split it. I wouldn’t overthink it.
Ace guy here, and I usually offer to pay. It’s not a hard rule or anything, it’s just something i was taught to do by my ma and sisters, but If it doesn’t jive with them and they’d rather go half and half or pay for their own meal, that’s perfectly cool too.
When I was dating my now wife it would depend on the currency. Dollaroos I pay, Euros she pays.
Then I moved to Europe and we have shared expenses so now it doesn’t matter which one pays.
I’m cis, man, straight. Usually I pay for the first date, unless she says that she wants to split it. Further dates depend, really - sometimes I’m short on cash, sometimes she is, but usually we’d split.
awkwardly fail to turn them down when the other person offers to pay.
Frame it differently: you aren’t awkwardly failing to turn them down, you’re gracefully accepting their generosity. If the other person is offering themself to pay, you shouldn’t feel guilty for letting them to do so.
That’s a good way to think about it. If someone is doing something nice for you, let them!
