I board as per usual without a hiccup on my flight from Denver to LA and I sit in my usual aisle seat. Waves of people walk past me for several minutes until the line trickles out and I realize that the doors are closed and I HAVE THE WHOLE ROW TO MYSELF!!

I am absolutely hyped this has never happened to me. I can fucking lay down in economy! Then I look across the aisle and my aisle buddy has a full row too! We high five everything is fucking fantastic.

Then the rub, I hear a guy two rows back ask for a new seat… I very literally prayed to a god I don’t believe in to spare me this night, and let me tell you god is real. I feel so bad for my aisle buddy though because the Kevin ended up sitting with him.

Let me tell you, reader, that is not all.

I set up my backpack as a pillow and chilled for a while before the drink cart came down. I figure I’m celebrating a big win so I decide to ask for a jack and coke for the first time on a flight. My flight attendant, this sweet sweet man, hands me TWO MINI JACK DANIELS AND A WHOLE CAN OF COKE FOR FREE!!! Do you hear what I am telling you??

I am fucking FLYING tonight bois. Not only do I get a whole row to my self despite all the odds, I also get two free drinks, AND IM CUTE!!! Fuck I feel good.

  • TheGreenGolem@lemm.ee
    8·
    1 year ago

    But those fuckers slow down after a couple of drinks, and after another few that arrive very slowly, they straight up stop. But of course don’t tell you that, but no matter how many times you wave one of them, they are just “Yeah, my colleague is on that, thanks for the patience” but the drink never arrives. Next time I’ll buy a bottle in the duty free. Fuckers.

      • TheGreenGolem@lemm.ee
        6·
        1 year ago

        If I buy a bottle of whiskey and a 2 liter coke beforehand in the duty free and mix them up in the toilet in the airport so it looks like I drink coke, I sure can!

      • tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip
        2·
        1 year ago

        Pre 9/11 they let you bring water through security but not alcohol bc they wanted to sell you their own. Guess what a water bottle full of gin and tonic looks like.

    • Ben Hur Horse Race@lemm.ee
      2·
      1 year ago

      haha… I’ve never experienced that… I have switched to buying the tiny bottles in duty free myself, ordering one then topping that fucker up myself for the entire flight