Short answer is ‘No.’ Long answer is a lot more complicated. Had limited success on a few apps, but I had hardly any matches over the past year and a half since I became single. Modern day dating apps are definitely a scam. They’re all enshittified Tinder clones that charge you upwards of £40 a month just to see likes.

Meanwhile, every woman is like “6ft, 7 figures and 8 inches or GTFO”

Out of my four past relationships, two were LDRs that fell apart the moment we actually closed the gap and met in person, one I ended because my then-partner had no personality and conversation with her was really dry, and the most recent one used me for my money.

I’m 32, below average in terms of my looks, and that’s regardless of how I present myself: I have tried all kinds of hairstyles and outfits and nothing seems to work.

Shit’s depressing.