See a counselor together. There’s obviously something causing a trust issue, and it’s probably completely minor. A counselor can help you sort it out. My wife and I saw one years ago and it was awesome. We’re on a great path now but often I wish we still saw one with some regularity.

Your analogy about the phone is spot on. You’re not doing anything wrong but do you really want someone seeing your search history about “how long do hemorrhoids last?” Hell nah.

This question belongs in r/relationships I think.

I had the desire for cameras inside and outside cause live in not the worst but not the greatest area. My SO had no real issues with it so we went for it. A few weeks later I noticed myself going into a deep state of depression and it took me a while to realize that the inside cameras was making me very uneasy, feeling like I was being watched. Being a veteran with PTSD there were likely other things that contributed and made the matter even worse but really I felt like I wasn’t even living in my own home. I started tip-toeing, opening/closing doors slowly, and being as quiet as possible just for example. In retrospect this all feels a little dramatic but beforehand I never considered any of that being a possibility and it ended up making me feel a way I didn’t like of course. You need to talk with (not “at”) your SO about what they want and why they want it and then express your concerns whether that’s your feelings, emotions, safety, and/or something different with your SO. Discuss how there could be impacts not yet realized too. There is compromise here if some level of psychological safety is practiced on both ends.

I understand OPs hesitations.

I have done the following

• camera firmwares have been tweaked and are now local only and stream to my Home Server and all other access from other devices is blocked
• external access only via VPN. No Apps, no cloud etc
• notifications are sent over the cloud but hold only an alert, no Screenshots
• cameras are turned off when me or my partner are within 100m of our home. I did this with a simple USB switch so the cameras are getting no power at all.
• persistent notifications Camera On on different devices.
• using a good Firewall and a SIEM to monitor devices, traffic and access.

Maybe OP would be OK with a similar setup. I had wanted to use cams for presence and person detection but my partner vetoed that pretty quick.

I have found great relief being able to remotely connect and make sure things are ‘OK’. For example, we were away during a tornado. Another time, my hot water heater leak alarm went off, I was able to log in and verify that it was a false alarm.

Out of respect for my partner, I keep the mics off, unless I specifically turn them on to check.

I’ve had indoor cameras for years mainly to keep an eye on pets, they are completely powered off when anyone is home.

I’m all about cameras external, and hey maybe internal facing doors is good added security. The rest? Nah inside your home needs some privacy.

I guess some people like watching indoor pets but even kids need some privacy and boundaries.

Outside only I reckon. No need, unless you are away on holiday. Otherwise set it up so it turns off when you are home and only comes on when you leave, so it’s a security camera then. Why does he want it?

“What do I have to hide? Insecurities, same as any other person who would feel the need to put up an indoor camera in their shared living space.”

My sister does it so she can keep an eye on her autistic son, and just gives her peace of mind when she’s not home. She doesn’t live in a really crime heavy area, either.

I would ask him what his thoughts are behind this before any conclusions on his intent! You can still act like normal in your own home, but you never know in todays world when a camera could come in handy around the home.

Maybe it’s just me, but my primary concern with this is actually the child. I don’t think it’s wise to video a child in their own home, they aren’t an adult and cannot consent. There are SO many things wrong with husband wanting to do this, but the one thing that sticks out is the kiddo.

Motion detector at best.

There are cameras with lids that open physically, so the view is blocked when it’s off. When it’s open, it means the camera is on.

So if you allow a camera in your living space, look for one with a lid

for outside of house it be good but y he need inside of living room ?/

Honestly, that’s a post for r/relationships or r/aita …

Yeah this would be a hard no from me. People need privacy sometimes. Partners need to respect each other’s privacy. It’s super fucked up to assume that being in a relationship means your partner doesn’t get to have private time or personal space.