My partner and I were out at the store grabbing some groceries. I needed more gum but I highly prefer the gum in a plastic box, with the flip lid. Not the plastic cups with the cubed gum, but the box with the sticks. I simply cringe with paper box containers for gum because everything can get squished in my purse. Well, we ended up getting the paper boxed gum because he didn’t understand that I didn’t have an actual reason for my preference, I just don’t like the paper boxes. I’m now all flustered and crying and I look like I’m pitching a fit but I’m aware it’s my ‘tism. He is very aware that I live with autism and so I think his ignorance of it in this moment hurts me more than anything else.
Thanks for listening.
This sums up my feelings about presents in general.
If there’s anything I want, anything at all, I’ll typically have a preference. I’ll research it, and make a decision based on a myriad of factors involved. Most things I own are deeply considered.
Typically when someone else buys something for me, their decision matrix will be reduced to “this thing fits the category of things that PancakeLegend likes”, and that’s where the consideration ends.
Given my apparent complete ability to disguise my feelings in this kind of situation, when I’m given the thing and I don’t like/need/want it I end up looking and feeling like a total a-hole. I would rather receive nothing and skip the sadness. I’ve told everyone for years not to buy me anything. I don’t let anyone outside of my family know when my birthday is.
Just reading this, it sounds like I’m an ungrateful person. I don’t want to be that person.